Auties transition to Year 1 - thread 3

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in reception year at school, going into Year 1 in the autumn. All welcome (also parents with older or younger children who want to ask questions or share their wisdom!)

Welcome!

Finally got ds into school.

danni will respond later to your ongoing school conundrum.

Thanks open. Lol

And glad you got ds in.

danni I don’t think it’s right that neither your ds’ teacher (or previous teacher) or TA attended the review, these are the people who know him best. Yes, they have a class but this is what release time is for. The meeting was scheduled in advance and cover should have been arranged. At ds’ review there were both his outgoing and incoming teacher, a specialist teacher and the SENCO. We have also had other meetings during the school day with the teacher, TA and SENCO plus one where the Head attended.

I have no idea why your ds can attend for lunch in two or three weeks as opposed to now. Quite what are they expecting to change in that time? Personally I would ask them.

We did have some of the EHCP outcomes and provisions remain the same or only slightly tweaked. This was to account for the fact that yr1 is such a step up from reception and that he might struggle more in those areas. Off the top of my head I can’t recall which ones they were.

I think the fact that he is making progress is great. I don’t think the LA would think badly of the fact that he hasn’t yet met all of his targets and is still working towards them. Did you get a chance to say what you thought his targets should be?

With regards to him being out of the classroom I suppose it depends what he’s doing. If it’s desensitising himself by watching from the door or doing something else constructive then that’s ok. Did they try adjusting the sound or anything to see if it made a difference?

dimples sorry you had a rough pickup. Is the school field safe at least - no exits? Are you able to just wait for him to come backbeats or do you have to follow him? I hope today was better.

liv I hope you can get some clothes on ds by Monday and that the meeting with school goes well.

Harley I hope today was better and that you can all relax a bit over the weekend

Ds was ‘fine’ today apparently which I wasn’t expecting but will take. He hasn’t slept so must be exhausted and will need an early night. Hopefully he won’t fall asleep on the sofa first!

I am very glad it’s the weekend

No running away today but fighting with his cousins in the car and then a huge meltdown. I'm exhausted but relieved that we made it to the weekend!

We had EHCP review in April - still haven't heard from LA

@dimples76 ds' senco said she had recently had it take 6 months after the annual review to receive a final version for another child.

We had ours in July and received the draft 5 weeks later.

dimples I’d check there hasn’t been an admin error (ie forgotten).

It's meant to be within 4 weeks. SENCO said that on average it takes our LA two terms. I have chased school and Council but as his support is not increased in the new plan I'm not really sure it has much effect on us.

DS has just been invited to a go-karting party. I think it would probably be too hard for him, however, he has recently amazed me with his courage and skills horse riding and on a flight simulator so maybe I should let him try

I have a 15 year old with autism his ehcp review was done in june and we haven't heard about anything yet. The school have been chasing the council about apparently theres a huge back log.

I have had a meeting with the head. She said that ds doesn't meet the criteria for a ehcp yet but they will be review this in a few weeks. Thing is how would they know when they haven't ever even tried to get ds one. Apparently they are going of the fact that they have had 4 refused in the last year and because theres no funding there the LA are only allowing children who need to go to sen school to be issued one. Sounds all totally illegal to me.
Ds ended up in school on thursday in normal clothes he wouldn't wear unifom and the ta thursday and friday had to come out and get ds. Ds class have had there ta's in class upped to 4 from 1 on thursday. Hes coming home everyday soiled and wet. Friday he came home with a sticker for not soiling his pants. I have sent a email explain that they can't reward for this as he is a withholder and they really can only reward for trying the toilet. School do know all this from last year. Ds had been with holding the last few days so we ahve had to go all the back to the start where we continue to say things like please don't hold on if you nees to poo do so even if it is in your boxes. We had managed to stop the with holding in the holidays.
School seem to think i talk to people about ds but j don't its like yesterday i had a friend here and her little girl is in ds class i was shouting ds and this little girl said your ds doesn't get names he doesnt respond like this at school he just spends all day following the teacher around talking about what he wants to and not doing any work.
The school are still not communicating with me they say the home school book singles him out yet they are willing to shout across the class in front of children and parents that hes been such a good boy with toileting today. They have also told me i shouldn't talk to ds about hos toileting and ask him if he has support to the toilet and i shouldn't talk about school at home.
We are @danni0509 we only ever have meetings with school senco or head who don't spend time with ds. His teachers or tas from class don't and never have atteneded meetings which has always made it very difficult as she constantly says things like well i don't know him well enough and when i bring things like how difficult he is to get into school she will say i haven't been told none of this.

Gosh it’s dreadful how much it varies, isn’t it? I feel very fortunate that (touch wood) things have been fairly timely here so far.

Monday is looming. I’m already starting to wonder how the morning will go.

Funny old day here...@LightTripper, you may relate as our DD sound similar...DD went to a party (v.informal) and you wouldn’t know there was anything different about her. Lovely to see her manage so well and yet has made me scrutinise my own thoughts all day...maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s just a development thing...she’s due her CAMHS observations some time over the next couple of months and now, just because of today, I feel a bit silly, I guess. Is it just me who has days like this?

We had a bit of a similar mixed up weekend Furry: tricky party on Saturday, great one on Sunday. Now we have a Dx it doesn't really cause me a roller coaster and I'm kind of happy either way (she survived Saturday by making a den under one of the tables and actually had a nice time I think, so I see that as her learning good skills to manage her sensory inputs, and Sunday she had much more social fun ... did I ever mention I am a glass half full person? Poor OH struggles a bit more when she is behaving differently, but I think he's getting there.) I can also see why they were different (20 kids in a room over a pub with an entertainer = fun but overwhelming, versus 10 kids in a garden with two parts and largely entertaining themselves with bug-hunting and imaginary castles = DD in her element).

Are you worried that CAMHS may not see what you see if she's having a good day when they come? FWIW when DD had her assessment the assessor (who as a SALT I think) only came for half a day, but although I thought DD was having a good day she did still see differences, and she also talked to key staff there (including DD's teacher from the previous year) so she got a rounded picture of strengths and difficulties. I think if you have somebody good they will see what they need to see, even on the day when DD is well rested and happy and doing brilliantly.

Is your DD's TA from last year still around? If so, could you suggest that CAMHS talk to her when they come in? Sounds like she would give them a very rounded picture re: anxiety etc?

Thanks @LightTripper that is all reassuring. Yes, I was concerned about the ‘good day’ element. I will make sure the TA gets to meet the CAMHS; that’s a good idea, especially as DD is so attached to her. She has a very good awareness of DDs strengths and weaknesses and also seems to notice the tiny things more so than her main teacher.
Today was an eye opener in terms of how much DD struggles with playing with other kids. Had a huge meltdown in a shared play area as the one other child present was playing her own game and using the space in a way that interfered in DDs game...I took DD to a quiet area and she cried and said her ‘words were gone’. Broke my heart...

Oh bless her. DD finds it very hard when games don't go her way too. The positive thing is that she was able to tell you: it does show a lot of self awareness (and a desire to communicate with you) that she was able to tell you that, so although it's hard to hear I think it's actually a good sign and important base skills for her being able to cope with these things in the future. I remember DD telling me she wanted a volcano to come through the pavement because she was so angry after we went home from a cafe once last year when she was being rigid about exactly where to sit and it was obviously all going to go badly, and although it obviously was in no way fun I did think that it was a good sign that she could really express her emotions, and I told her I was proud of her for being able to tell us, and that everybody feels that way sometimes, which seemed to help.

Joining this thread on invitation from LightTripper, thank you.

Started my own thread In SN Chat yesterday as it was DD's first proper day in Reception and I was a bit shaken up after the chaotic drop off. Had some lovely advice from people on this thread so will come over here now to discuss how it is all going.

Sounds like it has been a mixed start for everyone so far.

Hoping for a good day for everyone. I suspect the novelty of the 'first day fun day' that DD ended up having yesterday might wear off as the week goes on.

Hello!! Glad you made it over

Yes, the first week is very tiring for them (especially if it starts on a Monday), but it's funny how they get into a rythmn of it. She'll be very ready for half term if she's anything like our little ones though!

Welcome LittleSwede, I’m glad you had a better drop off this morning. Does your dd have an EHCP or any 1:1 support agreed?

Ds insisted on going in through the office this morning though the bell had not yet rung. I think he sometimes finds it a bit noisy in the playground though you wouldn’t really know to look at him. He is a bit sensitive to noise at the moment though I’m sure it will pass again.

Yesterday we were only 10 mins late and we were on time this morning despite a bit of resistance. I have plans to meet a friend for coffee after drop off tomorrow so I’m fairly sure he will refuse to go in nicely then!

He has been very good about not going into his old classroom, yesterday he went a couple of times to look from the door. The reception children started yesterday so I was worried he would be trying to join them

He had a big tantrum after school yesterday so I’m hoping that won’t be repeated today. In the end, because he didn’t get his way, he did something fairly obnoxious that I warned him he would lose the iPad for if he did. Of course he did it anyway and then I felt bad as the iPad is his favourite thing and he uses it to decompress after school. So I gave it to him with a strict warning not to repeat the behaviour (which he has never done before). He was fairly contrite so we will see what happens. Rubbish parenting, I know, but I never should have threatened it in the first place, especially so early into the new term when he probably needs it the most.

I hope all the other children are settling back in well.

Oh that sounds tough. I think when you realise you've made a mistake you have to just go back on it and not dig in. Once when DD was small she was doing an autumn leaf picture and she picked up the glue pot and threw it across the room and we had PVA EVERYWHERE (fabric chair covers, wall, floor, table, DD, me - it was an amazing throw). It was totally on purpose and I lost it and told her I would rip up her picture. I was horrified pretty much the second it was out of my mouth. If it's a one-off hopefully your DS will have realised that even the threat means that he crossed a line, without you having to follow through. Certainly DD has never thrown glue again, even though I obviously did not rip up her picture!

We have had a break though. School have finally decided they can see how much ds can't handle school. So now he does what they class as the most important part of the curriculum numuracy and phonics in the monring with his class then he goes to lunch bunch for dinner which is a quiet class room with the other children who can't handle the busy noisy dinning all then afternoon is spent playing in the sunishine group class room.
For the foest time since ds stattong nursery at 2 years old he actually came home happy excited and wasn't with drawn and exhausted. Now just need to solve the toilet issues with school.

Oh that's brilliant news Harley!

Hopefully DS being less stressed and more positive about school will be the first step to getting the toilet issues back on track too. How was he over the weekend: has it gone at home too, or is it just at school he is having problems?

Harley it’s great that your ds was happy and hopefully this will improve the toileting situation. But I feel that this is a cop out for them unless they are also looking into how they can make the classroom (and learning) accessible to him going forward. Hopefully they are looking into strategies for that so that this is an interim solution.

As you may have read, @danni0509 is not happy about how much time her ds spends outside the classroom because it’s the easy option for them.

@LightTripper the toileting unfortunately has compeltly gone and if anything is the worst its been for a long time at home too. Because they don't stick to his routine hes now fighting it at home.

@Openupyoureyes i do feel its a cop out but its a happy step for ds. I do get the impression the school believe that isn't the correct enviroment for him and that also they believe hes not bad enough at present to get a ehcp although they havent tried yet but tehy said they are looking at this once jea been in year 1 a few weeks.
Its abvious how differnt and he doesnt fit in. Ghis morning he took a massive cuddly teddy as its soft and he loves soft things to school now hes not allowed anything in school so i did say he had to give it me nack at the door. He got to his class door where all the other kids where going in quitely and doing there morning routine he stood the shouted the teachers name who immediately dashed up quickly spoke to his teddy then did his routine for him. His teacher last year used to moan about the additional things she had to do for ds. The school are also not willing to do or change nothing due to it being unfair or distracting to other children.