There She Goes - new series with SN child **Thread title edited by MNHQ**

[WonderBoy]

I've just spotted this:

There She Goes
BBC4 10pm - 10.30pm
First of a 5-part series, starting today - 16.10.18.
1/5 - One Day in the Life of Rosie Yates: It's a typical Saturday for 9-year old Rosie, who has a severe learning disability.

I'll be watching - if possible! Anyone joining me?

That's how I see it too, Aam - Special or Additional Needs doesn't really cover it with WB. I also find, like Sleepy, that explaining with 'severely disabled' results in a continued negative response much less often than the other labels. Sadly, mentioning SN, AN or Autism seem to be like a red rag to a bull to some. I just want the negative response to stop if possible, and 'severely disabled', as well as being accurate, gives us the best chance of that - especially when emphasising severely coupled with a hard stare. Perhaps they think it means they might catch it or some harm might come to them with severely. Whatever works to make them pipe down, back off, make way or help, really.

We also identify more with There She Goes than The A Word, like Sleepy. There were some similarities though - like the rural night drives instead of sleep.

Just off to raid Golden's Jaffacake cupboard. We have a similar cupboard, and its essential extension - my bag - for treats, rewards, needed extra calories, communication, serious meltdown avoidance, distraction, and occasionally just to buy me time for a cup of tea. Even a plain old digestive biscuit has many uses in our unusual world.

I think Comedy Drama fits our life here - lots of drama, some comedy - perhaps more a tragicomedy or comedy of errors at times...

Comedy Drama might seem an odd way to label a series about what is such a serious and often heartbreaking subject. It does cover it for me, because it's not a documentary. I hope that label - and perhaps this was part of the intention - attracts a wider audience, and leads to a bit more awareness.

For me, it's just great to see a family a bit more like mine on the screen, without it being in a documentary, charity appeal, or gloomy or inspiring news report. We struggle, we cry, we love, we grieve, we celebrate, we get it wrong, we get it right, we sometimes swear, drink and argue, we don't feed our DCs exclusively on gluten free cardboard, and we even laugh, sometimes in a very non pc way. Who knew?!

without it being in a documentary, charity appeal, or gloomy or inspiring news report.

Yes! That's sums it up really well.

I watched last night's episode this morning and basically blubbed the whole way through it. Particularly when he took baby Rosie away so Emily could get some sleep.

I thought the character of the the step grandad was well done in that he got it so completely wrong in some ways and so completely right in others.

I have got flu so probably a bit more over emotional than usual but I felt this was the most emotive episode.

Definitely felt the frustration of not being listened to. It's also totally infuriating when ds does something for another person that he won't do for me!

I did laugh when Rosie squished the ladybird as my ds did exactly the same a couple of weeks ago with a spider, and tried to eat it after obviously.

I cried pretty much all the way through! The 2006 conversation between mum and dad was very poignant. Tbh I feel like me and dh could be having that conversation even now. Although replace alcohol with cycling.

I'm personally going through a bit of a thing at the moment, the fantasy life that she called it. What if, what could have been. So I really blubbed at that. I haven't yet come to terms with no holidays, trying to fit a job round what dd needs, the lack of sleep, where I fit in to the whole thing. And dh is still a bit crap, he seems to escalate rather than deescalate, so it's always me dealing with dd. Recently spent 9 days in a row with her (and ds) 24/7 and thought I was going to lose my mind.

Anyway that's a bit self indulgent. Where are the jaffa cakes.

Have not seen last nights epispde yet im watching it on catch up later with dh and it is a comedy a dark comedy , i think it shows that you can still have fun and comedy moments ds2 makes me laugh everyday todays highlights were him getting innthe way as we were trying to fit a carpet innjis brothers bedroom and genereally being a lovable nuisance

No crisp or jaffa-cake cupboard here, no space - we have crisp storage boxes on top of the fridge-freezer The jaffa cakes are elsewhere and they're all mine as our son doesn't like sweets or chocolate.

I was waiting for the grandparents to say ‘she’ll soon eat when she’s hungry, you shouldn’t pander to her’ 😂

I think you've said your boy is 9, Eggys? WB didn't like and couldn't manage chocolate or sweeties, but he was just a very late starter. First came chocolate and then eventually even sweeties. Boiled ones are generally out because of his risk of choking, but he manages them if broken up, and lollipops are now a particular favourite well supervised. Better watch your Jaffacakes - you never know!

I hope you both enjoy - if that's the right word - this week's episode, Aam. Better have tissues at the ready, alongside the . A lovable nuisance is a perfect, if very polite, way of putting it!

It sounds like this week's episode resulted in synchronised blubbing whenever we happened to watch it, Intents and liv! I was nodding along quite a bit as I read both your posts.

Particularly when the opportunities are so rare, there's nothing self indulgent about telling it how it really is to other parents in similar situations, who probably understand where you're at pretty well, Intents. Don't lose complete hope about holidays, for example. We were very late starters before we dared even attempt it with WB, but we've chiselled out a reasonably workable system now, which makes it sort of possible and even sometimes enjoyable, including for WB. It's similar to my pp about haircuts, but on a grander scale.

Get well soon, liv. No insects have been harmed by WB, but that's only because our pets get to them first, and I dread to think what WB has actually eaten over the years

Yes I’ll share the Jaffacakes . It is good to talk to people in the same situation, you can talk to professionals till the cows come home but they don’t quite get it. My Son doesn’t have autism but has severe learning difficulties no speech & can’t walk, so I’m singing from the same hymn sheet but just a different verse! But I’m enjoying watching Rosie’s family and relate to the sheer life upheaval of it all. The hair was funny I expected her to be sat in bed with her iPad & 20 packs of mini cheddars!

I hear you Intents. For me there has been something quite profound about seeing my family, warts and all, not through rose coloured glasses on TV.

It brings in to focus the lows (and highs).

I am not sure the what if's go do they? I had a moment earlier this week when I was driving home from picking DD up from school and saw all the secondary aged girls walking home together and felt so sad that DD would not have that right of passage. I cried about it.

I think you're right, Lady. The what ifs, if onlys and whys have never gone away for me, just sometimes they're stronger than others. Sometimes it's the contrast between what WB won't be able to experience, compared to other DCs - from silly small things to the big whoppers like being a husband and father. Other times it's what siblings can do together, compared to what WB can't do with his and they can't do with him. In There She Goes, when they said 'Rosie has no friends' and 'we're all she's got', that really hit home and rang true. More tears in the gin, to add to the ones around Emily in the 2006 flashbacks.

Definitely needing the communal Jaffacakes now after that, and after not a wink of sleep with WB last night.

Oh god. Just watched it. Full on blubbing.

Not caught up yet - just finished episode 2 but I am loving this thread ! I have 2 DS with high functioning autism. One has massive meltdowns getting into the bath and then again getting out of the bath. DS 2 loves a naked trampoline session. He also does gym so frequently embarks on naked cartwheels and back bends.... is currently watching tv naked standing on his head...

I fear I'm never going to catch this week's episode...stuff keeps cropping up!

Supposed to be going on a rare night out, on my own with friends later....ds has screamed since he realised I am going out. Fun fun fun.

I havent actually caught it yet eitheram. Planning on watching it later and snap on the night out , ik having one tommorow with my sister and old friend 🍷🍹🍺🍸

Surpeisingly ds isnt naked he is only wearing trouser s though so it may only be a matter od time before he is naked😏

Just popping on in a spare moment to say there's a great interview with Shaun Pye (I'd really recommend) on the bbc.co.uk/media centre website from 8.10.18, and further interviews with Jessica and David too.

• Communal Jaffacakes to SleepySofa.

• It's getting a bit cold for all this nakedness, Didi and Aam!

• And come on, hazey and Aam, speaking as someone who has not had a proper night out for some considerable time, you shall have 30 minutes telly this week and you shall go to the ball - and when did you let a little (hardcore) screaming or nakedness or things cropping up, get in the way of a drink or 2?! Come on, you're both doing it for the thread and for the rest of us! 🍻🍺🍺

I shall have a drink or three for you Wonder and in an actual glass like a proper adult not a plastic cup in sight!cheer s🍺🍻🍹🍷

wonderboy ds is not entirely naked. He is wearing a hat....

Screaming has stopped.....to be replaced by some bouncing off the sofas with manic screeching....Dh is looking a bit scared.

Will enjoy my woofed bowl of pasta and raise a toast to my, knackered, teetering on the edge of chaos.....but still laughing, gang on here. Cheers lovely people.

I will hide in the toilet to watch the rest of the episode later!

Well, as long as he's got his hat on, Didi, that's OK. It's usually nothing or a t-shirt here, (WB, not me).

And an actual GLASS glass, Aam?! You're spoiling me. Thank you.

And poor hazey's dh - obviously not his turn to slope off tonight

In true There She Goes style, it was takeaway pizza and plastic cup wine in the WB household. Following an out-of-the-blue mini WB meltdown in the car, there was lashing of antiseptic hand cream for our nail marks, and by leaving WB in his houdini harness with another DC on watch, I even managed a mad dash inside to the bathroom for a rare peaceful wee and secret loud swearing session. Small joys.

The night is unfortunately still young here in WB land. He's bouncy, tappy, rocky, plucking my favourite wool jumper to baldness, tuning up nicely for shoutyness, and there eau de poo in the air from a recent near-nuclear nappy change, but he's fully clothed in a back to front onesie and we're watching Wallace and Gromit companionably at the moment. I'm wondering if hazey is back from her night out and locked in her bathroom across the Internet miles.

Because of tiredness, (the real sort), I'm regretting that second glass of wine but simultaneously wishing I could have a third. Anybody got any Jaffacakes left, (or anything chocolatey will do)?

Coffee anyone? Long night here. Although feeling briefly smug because I bribed dd with the laptop password in exchange for getting dressed for swimming. I'm sure I'll pay for it later.

I watched the poo episode think well at least we don't have poo hiding. Guess what I found today ?!