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Original poster

DS with ASD starting school Sept 2018 - I am feeling overwhelmed

992 replies

Hurricane74 · 07/11/2017 14:48

Hi

My son has a diagnosis of ASD and is due to start school next Sept. We are in discussion with the LA about an EHCP and have a Joint Assessment Meeting for early December. I had hoped he would go to a mainstream school and see how it goes, with the option of a school with an autism unit or a SS is things don’t work out. But now am feeling very doubtful a mainstream school could meet his needs. We had a report from the LA yesterday based on observations of him at preschool and it makes such sobering reading. It puts his developmental age at 8-20 months for most areas (he is 40 months) and his understanding and listening skills at 0-11 months. (His moving and handling skills are almost age appropriate). His main issues are social anxiety, sensory issues around noise and his lack of understanding and speech. Has anyone experience of a child with similar issues managing in a mainstream setting? If so, what kind of provision did you ask for and receive? Thanks for reading.

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dimples76 · 05/09/2018 18:16

I agree Light. He does seem fairly happy again for now ...

openupmyeagereyes · 05/09/2018 21:51

Chasing best of luck for tomorrow.

Light definitely take that as a win! Good luck for the full day tomorrow.

dimples I’m glad your ds has settled down now. I hope he’s ok in the morning ahead of another day.

Our teacher visit went pretty well. He came in for the last 10 mins and it was a positive interaction. I’m glad it ended on a high.

livpotter · 07/09/2018 10:38

Hope school is still going well for everyone?

I've now met the teacher, senco and my ds's LSA. They all seem very open and cooperative and ds seemed to engage a bit with the LSA straight off, which is promising.

They've told me that ds does not need to wear uniform if he can't handle it which is a relief as he still won't look at it!

Still feeling very nervous about next week!

dimples76 · 07/09/2018 17:47

Liv that sounds v positive - good luck for next week.

How's it going Light and Chasing?

I am amazed how well this week as gone - I've had one brief spell of challenging behaviour but otherwise my boy seems very happy and has even seems to have made a friend.

On Monday night I was crying, worrying how he was going to cope and tonight I've shed a few happy tears.

livpotter · 07/09/2018 18:02

Brilliant dimples! So glad it has gone so well!!

openupmyeagereyes · 07/09/2018 19:32

liv great news about the uniform. I am extremely nervous too. 4 days to go here...

dimples brilliant that your ds has had such a good start. I hope ours goes as well.

How’s everyone else getting on?

SueVide · 07/09/2018 20:42

So pleased to hear that the first days have gone so well. You all must be pleased and v relieved. DS starts on Monday. The first week is half days and then full time.

We met his TA before the summer and took a photo so we could talk about her. We had an intro session this week and DS played happily with her so am feeling a bit less worried.

Uniform will be tricky esp. PE but I'm hoping his TA has more luck with getting him to put his trousers on than I have!

LightTripper · 10/09/2018 10:43

How did everyone go this morning? DD was happy as anything to go in and I thought we had a really nice goodbye and all fine, but then I got caught behind another parent at the gate and she ran back after me and got really upset Sad. Still, although she was probably the most upset she was far from the only one so hopefully they'll all settle soon. She was getting a hug from her lovely teacher when I left. Helps so much when you like their teacher!

Only bad thing last week was that they managed to call her out in a whole school assembly to do something Confused - doh! Obviously didn't go down brilliantly well. We think it was just an oversight rather than somebody trying to fix her (God I hope so) but going to drop the school a note with some comments on what upsets DD for those that don't work with her as often as her class teacher does... I hope it doesn't come across as patronising/annoying but it suddenly struck us that although her teacher is really good I think she can't be everywhere all the time, and can't think of everything in advance, so people like the deputy head (runs assemblies) and sports and music and language teachers etc. need to be in the loop too...

Hope everyone else had a good weekend and a good Monday!

openupmyeagereyes · 10/09/2018 11:01

Sue I hope your ds has a good first day.

Light that’s a bit of an oversight isn’t it. Hopefully she wasn’t too stressed out. I did a two sider of ‘important things to know about me’ for the school. Lots of it we’d already discussed at various times but I thought it would be good to pull it all together and that it would serve as a reminder. I sent it to the teacher and SENco who made sure it was distributed appropriately (she said).

Ds starts tomorrow. He is avidly watching episodes where Topsy and Tim start school. I must admit I have shed a few tears so I’ll probably be a wreck tomorrow 😂

livpotter · 10/09/2018 12:35

Good luck today sue hope it goes well.

Light Like Open we did an 'all about me page' for the EHCP, do that al the teachers and support staff have a snap shot of what ds likes and needs. Glad your dd is still doing well.

Ds starts tomorrow. I'm feeling pretty stressed about it but hopefully it will go ok!

SueVide · 10/09/2018 21:46

First day went ok. There were tears over breakfast and DS was v quiet when we left him but he says he had a good time painting with his TA. I'm sure there'll be more tears this week but I'm relieved day 1's over with.

LightTripper · 10/09/2018 23:38

Liv and Open, we should have done that! I think the fact her class teacher already knows her gave us a false sense of security. We sent something this afternoon and already got a nice response from the SENCO, so that's a good start.

Had a tough start today (lots of tears when I left her) but apparently had a really good day including enjoying PE!!! If you knew me and my OH as kids (and just how far behind her gross motor milestones DD has always been...) you would understand how truly shocking this is!

Glad the first day was OK Sue. First day always likely to be the toughest, so hopefully it will get easier from here!

dimples76 · 11/09/2018 07:11

Sue glad to hear that the first day went well. It's exhausting though isn't it.

SueVide · 11/09/2018 08:00

I know dimples I think our DC have done well so far esp tackling PE LightWe should all be v proud!

Good luck Liv

livpotter · 11/09/2018 12:38

Great it went well Sue! Amazing about he PE light.

First day went well. Both ds and his 1:1 looked completely knackered! Think they'll both sleep well tonight!

SueVide · 11/09/2018 14:44

Glad to hear things went well for you and your DS Light. You must be v relieved. Here's to good nights' sleep all round!

SueVide · 11/09/2018 14:44

Sorry I meant Liv

openupmyeagereyes · 11/09/2018 16:32

liv glad things went well.

Day 1 done here, a full day too. He came out quiet but seems pretty happy. From his communication book it seems like it went ok/as expected. He didn’t eat so I’ve already given him dinner and will offer a snack a bit later.

I’m glad the first day is over. I’m interested to see how he is tonight and how keen he is to go tomorrow! It’s nerve wracking.

livpotter · 11/09/2018 21:54

Thanks sue!

Glad today went ok Open.

Hope tomorrow goes well for everyone.

dimples76 · 11/09/2018 22:08

Glad to read that things seem to be going well for everyone. Today was the first day that I did not collect my son from school. I thought when I collected him from my Mum's that it would be difficult but he was as good as gold. However, during bedtime stories he said that he didn't believe that I loved him and that doesn't love me - he said this v cheerfully Hmm

openupmyeagereyes · 12/09/2018 05:43

Sue glad the first day went ok for your ds too. I’m also glad the first day is over.

I hope everyone had a decent nights sleep. Ds insisted on sleeping in his uniform. I think that’s a good sign? Smile

LightTripper · 12/09/2018 09:49

Oh dimples, I'm sorry. They do come out with some stuff don't they! If it's any consolation I remember telling my Mum I hoped a Lion would eat her and really meaning it (but I don't hope that any more Grin) I think they find it hard to imagine that we have other lives away from them and have other people relying on us to do things.

Wanting to sleep in uniform definitely a good sign open! DD still upset when I left her this morning but I arrived a bit earlier and her TA took her to one side to read a story, so hopefully that will help. It's funny she always used to be totally happy for me to leave her in nursery in the morning, but I think in big school it's the fact it's in a playground with big children and not with her teacher that makes the transition harder for her...

openupmyeagereyes · 12/09/2018 12:34

Ds’s enthusiasm is heavily influenced by an obsession with the Topsy & Tim back to school episodes. I’m not sure where we’ll be when that has run it’s course!

Big hugs to all of you coping with tears and upset. Hopefully things will get easier soon, it’s not easy Flowers

openupmyeagereyes · 12/09/2018 12:35

Two easys Blush

livpotter · 12/09/2018 16:19

Oh dimples that's not what you want to hear. How is he today?

Great about sleeping in his uniform Open.

Ds had another really good day today. Apparently he was making friends, telling everyone who's turn it was in games and waiting for his! (I'm not entirely sure who they have replaced my ds with!).

Having said that he still refuses to go anywhere near the toilet. Not sure how he manages to hold it for that long.