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Original poster

DS with ASD starting school Sept 2018 - I am feeling overwhelmed

992 replies

Hurricane74 · 07/11/2017 14:48

Hi

My son has a diagnosis of ASD and is due to start school next Sept. We are in discussion with the LA about an EHCP and have a Joint Assessment Meeting for early December. I had hoped he would go to a mainstream school and see how it goes, with the option of a school with an autism unit or a SS is things don’t work out. But now am feeling very doubtful a mainstream school could meet his needs. We had a report from the LA yesterday based on observations of him at preschool and it makes such sobering reading. It puts his developmental age at 8-20 months for most areas (he is 40 months) and his understanding and listening skills at 0-11 months. (His moving and handling skills are almost age appropriate). His main issues are social anxiety, sensory issues around noise and his lack of understanding and speech. Has anyone experience of a child with similar issues managing in a mainstream setting? If so, what kind of provision did you ask for and receive? Thanks for reading.

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openupmyeagereyes · 24/08/2018 05:21

Thanks so much for your positive story AllAboutTheStuff, so lovely to read. Our ms school has been very supportive so far, hopefully it will continue when he actually starts!

We have a final draft of our EHCP. The funding in it is £15.3k which Google tells me is the average cost in our area for a TA. However this would be gross pay and wouldn’t allow extra for pension contributions etc. which presumably they would be entitled to? How did those of you who have ehcp’s find your monetary amount compared? I think the value stated is inclusive of £6k of the general SEN funding the school already receives, is that right?

How are you all feeling as the term draws closer? I’m trying to ignore it and stick my head in the sand but when I think about it I’m very nervous.

openupmyeagereyes · 24/08/2018 05:41

Oh, and I am reading How to raise a happy autistic child and really like it.

livpotter · 24/08/2018 11:26

My ds has about the same amount of funding in his EHCP open.

Yeah i'm getting nervous in the run up to school. We're going away to the coast for a few days next week then have another contact day at the school on the 4th. Ds doesn't start till the 11th and his first full day is the 12th.

So far i've labelled all his uniform. Yet to get hin to wear any of it! Something to tackle when we're back i think. I've made him a transition box with things he'll like and corresponding visuals. And we've been taking him past the school lots.

Hopefully the school will be more on it at the begginnig of term and soet out more transition stuff.

openupmyeagereyes · 24/08/2018 16:50

Is the transition box for him to take to school or just to familiarise him beforehand? What sort of things do you have in it?

I had an email about the EHCP today. It said ‘the decision panel have agreed to fund 30 hours per week, to include small amount of time to develop peer relationships with universal adult support’. You’d think this would happen anyway wouldn’t you, and for longer than 30 mins per day.

livpotter · 24/08/2018 21:46

The transition box is a shoe box for him to have at school. It's got various sensory toys and thing I think will calm him if he gets stressed. Like pictures of family and things he likes. I'm hoping that it will become something that he looks forward to going into school for as well as to help him transition into joining in with the rest of the class in the morning. The school recommended it. Hopefully it will work!

openupmyeagereyes · 25/08/2018 05:42

Sounds good, I might do similar. He does love looking at photographs. What sort of sensory toys do you have in it?

livpotter · 25/08/2018 09:22

Some chewlery, a glitter filled ball thing with a PJ Masks picture inside, a snake fidget toy thing one of those silent mouth whistle things, some cars cards and these bead things you can make into a string. He finds Building and sorting things very regulating. Basically I just raided our local tat shop!

I'm going to photograph it all and put the picture on the inside of the box, so hopefully he won't lose everything. I thought then I could show him a picture of the school then a picture of what's in the box to encourage him to go in.

openupmyeagereyes · 30/08/2018 19:14

Does anyone’s dc start next week?

dimples76 · 30/08/2018 22:57

Yes, Tuesday - I can’t sleep!

Chasingmytail17 · 30/08/2018 23:13

Thursday... But only going in for an hour. Still can't believe it is happening.... Denial!!

openupmyeagereyes · 31/08/2018 05:31

dimples what are you most worried about? Does he have reduced hours to start with?

Chasing an hour is a nice gentle start.

Flowers for you both, and hugs.

I’m bricking it too. In fact, I think I’m going to try to get some therapy/CBT for my anxiety. I’m not sure how to go about finding someone reputable though. We have a home visit Wednesday and then he starts full days on the following Tuesday. I need to take his trousers up and we need to go and buy shoes and plimsolls.

livpotter · 31/08/2018 08:36

Good luck chasing and dimples! Hope it all goes well Thanks

LightTripper · 31/08/2018 09:26

Wednesday for us (half day - and then full days from Thursday). DD has said she feels a bit worried about it but also seems happy about it in other ways (has wanted to try on the uniform a couple of times and enjoyed helping stick the name stickers in her new school shoes and then wanted to wear them, so that was good I thought).

OH is starting a new job on the 10th, so I think that helps a bit. DD says we should get him a present for being brave on his first day, so we'll do the same for her (just a book or something!)

dimples76 · 31/08/2018 17:22

Open just general anxiety - nothing specific.

Our school start is full time from day one (wish that it was phased more). He has been on seven visits in the summer term which all went really well but they were so long ago. It is going to be a long day for him as he is going into school 5 mins early with his 1:1 to help him adjust.

We bumped into his class teacher in a swimming pool last week and she was really lovely. We have a new neighbour who missed out on all the school visits as they didn't get a place until the holidays and my boy showed the new boy his school book and was telling him the names of all the teachers and TAs. He also told him that school is fun. So everything is looking good really. I am just trying to keep my nerves in check!

dimples76 · 31/08/2018 18:23

Good luck everyone!

dimples76 · 04/09/2018 20:29

First day down and it was a success! His TA said that he really got stuck into everything and he came out of school really happy (if a bit manic). He was so excited chatting about his day and the people he met. Last night I was feeling so worried and barely slept a wink - I am so tired but happy this evening. I hope that everyone else’s school starts go well

livpotter · 04/09/2018 21:30

Wonderful dimples! So happy for you and your ds!

openupmyeagereyes · 04/09/2018 21:51

dimples that’s amazing, you must be so proud of him! Star

We have a week to go. The teacher is doing a home visit tomorrow morning. I expect ds to disappear to his bedroom...

LightTripper · 04/09/2018 23:44

That is amazing Dimples!! DD's first (half) day tomorrow. She's a bit nervous but mainly excited. I'm a bit excited but mainly nervous!!

openupmyeagereyes · 05/09/2018 07:14

Good luck to your dd, Light.

I hope your ds has another good day dimples.

livpotter · 05/09/2018 07:45

Hope today goes well light!

Chasingmytail17 · 05/09/2018 08:06

Amazing news on your DS first day dimples hope today goes well for your Dd light I still can't work out how I'm feeling about tmrw, he is only going to be there for such a short time due to the transition they have laid out it doesn't really feel like proper school yet... But equally I'm scared and not sure how I will feel once he is all. Uniformed up sat in the car!

LightTripper · 05/09/2018 15:16

DD did OK I think! When we first arrived she hid behind me and buried her head in me and wouldn't look at/talk to anyone, but then I was crouching down and she leaned into me so hard that we fell over and she thought that was hilarious, so that broke the tension a bit!

Once we were in the classroom and got her coat hung up and lunch box put away etc. she got a bit hyper and rolling all over the place in the reading corner giggling, but then she got interested in a dolls house and started playing with that, and interacting with her teacher a bit - so then said goodbye and gave me a hug without any tears etc.

OH picked her up and said she seemed to have had a good morning, so sounds like it went OK! I do think tomorrow might be a bit more challenging as it's a full day and the whole school is back (today was just the reception kids). But anyway, a win is a win - I'll take it!! And even if tomorrow is a struggle it's only 2 days to the weekend and she can have a breather (it is her best friend's birthday party on Saturday and then on Sunday we have nothing planned so can take it a bit easy).

dimples76 · 05/09/2018 16:39

That's great Light - well done to your DD. My boy got on well at school today but his behaviour after school was more like I anticipated - he has run away from me and hit me. Fairly calm now ....

LightTripper · 05/09/2018 16:50

It's exactly what you read about isn't it? Do well at school but then lose it at home as they're exhausted from holding it together all day.

I think most of the advice I've seen is to try to take it easy on them in the evenings: keep routines, minimise demands, etc. I'm kind of bracing for impact at this point I have to say... but we'll see. This whole journey has been constantly surprising and not always in a bad way!