I can't cope any more [sad]

[PeachyClair]

I just don't know what to do. Sam has spent another full day in meltdown. he tried to break ds2's hand earlier, he tried to COOK ds3 yesterday (we haev the cooker isolayted though so not possible). he growls, bites, snarls all the time . He has taught ds3 to piss on me by clapping when it happned as an acidnet, he spits at me if I go near. Dh can't help, his intervention doesn't have its normal effect and he's at work anyway. we cannot go out without him biting someone, or runninga way and if we do we get insults thrown at us for not stopping him crawling, snarling or whatever. I even had to interrupt writing this post because DS2 was screaming as DS1 had broken into his room and was acting like an animal, pouncing and growling.

I know there are other awful things on here tonight and I'll probably get yelled for posting this but I am in tears, feel despearte and just don't know what to do.

He attacked 3 times whilst this was written

scooby do you go on the ttr group??? (if you don't know what it is you don't lol)

No Peachy, I don't think I do...what is TTR? !!!

can you e-mail me?
peaches and cream 04 at btinternet dot com

sounds like you're one of us LOL!

that sounds sinister

lol

off board Sn group manly of MN users you'll know, lets us discuss more difficult issues etc

Hi peachy, if the first bit of your email address is 'peachesandcream', then I have just sent you an email!

all received

scoobyww an invite is on the way to you. If you have any problems my email address is on it . so let me know.

thank you 2 shoes

Hi All
I have been reading the link with increasing incredulity - what a way to be treated! I appreciate that everything takes time and energy, but a couple of suggestions as to where to turn to for help/advice:

Ask your SS for information about a local advocacy service. An Advocate can help you to speak up for your rights by writing letters, making phone calls and attending meetings with you as well as finding out information. They are a useful tool for taking the pressure off from you having to deal with professionals and your child. for general info: Action for Advocacy www.actionforadvocacy.org.uk. It is suprising how people start to sit up and notice when you have someone by your side.

Disability Law Service: provides free advice and representation to people with disabilities, their families or carers.
www.dis.org.uk

Children's Law Service: Information and advice on children's rights www.childrenslawcentre.org tel0808 808 5678

Carers project. As far as I'm aware you are entitled to a carers assessment of your needs in your own right - which is another approach re respite care as you need time to study and look after your other children - plus sleep! You should have a local organisation if not the national organisation is www.carers.org. They will also be able to tell you more about direct payments and your local orginisation running it.

Re your child moving up re school - remember that there is a huge push towards integration - but, and I'm sure the school will support you on this, insist he has full time one to one support. also do check out spec schools in your area - they have a lot more expertise in dealing with our kids and can bring out the best in them as well as supporting you.

Cerebra is an excellent organisation offering advice re research into various conditions and may be able to help you weigh up your choices re drugs. www.cerebra.org.uk helpline 08003281159
Contact a family are also good - www.cafamily.org.uk and provide good help and advice.

I know how difficult it is to get the energy together, especially when you are sleep deprived - mine didnt sleep through for a lot of years and yes, things have got better as he has got older! However, it is also true that the more you know the less they can refuse - and there are people out there who will help!

Hope I've posted this correctly - first time I've done it! I also hope the info helps!

Hi there!

Forgive me as you've just got me posting in long-hand as I don't know what the DS etc. means!!!

It's actually cheered me up reading this as I can get so "into myself" thinking that my eldest son's really bad, and then I hear about yours!!

My son has has AS and has Melatonin - given freely by the pead. It worked for a while and then stopped. The Pead perscribed slow release Melatonin and upped the dosage. He goes to bed even later now!!! I'll have to see what they suggest next. I do like the fact that Melatonin is a natural product....

Does the school support you with Sam. Are they pushing for a statement for Sam too? They get the funding so it should be no skin off their noses!! Why should you have to take your child to the SENCO??? Is this the right mainstream school for Sam...if the Juniors is attached to the infants then he's there for many years.

If he is changing school then look for one which is sympathetic to SN and has an good SENCO.

Good luck. You've kept me grounded!!!!

Is this the right schoold for Sam? Is it Hell! But its the only one we can get to.

Are they helping?

Sorry, pmsl so much had to pick myself up off the floor!

Sorry, not helpful

No, the Head accused me of causing Sam's ASD at one point (not realising I could hear phone call), today we had a letter saying OT was being removed (he was on waiting list) due to schools failure to submit forms, although it may be that they were lost in the system.

Sorry.

Are you new to the board? didn't recognise your name. If so, welcome.

Yes I'm new! Thanks for the welcome!!

I'm going to see a behavioural specialist tomorrow. I've seen her last year and see wasn't that helpful, but they've re-jigged the team and working with phychiatrists or physcologists - can't quite remember!!

Anyway if I have a chance I will hypothetically see what she suggests about unhelpful schools etc and who there is to turn to.

I am fed up with the "system" I've been refused Disability Living Allowance as Jeremy isn't "bad" enough and the school thinks he's "manageable"!!

have you appealed th DLA? Many poelpe get it on appeal, it seems its often the only way to get it these days.

System is shite isn't it??

Yep I'm having a "reconsideration" , but have to get more evidence together from the school, so I hope they play ball!!

Thanks!

Lorns

can you e-mail me? peaches and cream 04 at bt internet dot com

ta

Sorry lorns should have explained- tried to cat but you don't accept them

many of the mumsnet special needs board users have a separate yahoo group called time to rant where we can post mroe private things and jsut generally rant wthout having to justify ourselves as can sometimes happen.

We wondered if you'd like to join us?

Pleae let me now if so