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Original poster

Spluttering. Today got called a social burden!!!

87 replies

Piffleoffagus · 12/05/2004 21:04

Sorry its a bit long winded
Unreal, almost calm enough to type this now.

Usual mums n tots discussions and the subject of terminating a pregnancy when you found a "defect" came up.
I offered up my pearls of wisdom, that my DH and I recently realised. We had decided that if anything major showed up in the pregnancy we would consider termination due to possible impact on older sons life. Bear with me before leaping on me please...
We also said that had any test shown up that our dd was A Noonan Syndrome baby, we would have looked it up on google and possibly have terminated.
This was a very tearful and scary realisation for us, our girl is perfect in every way to us.
So.. I relay this emotionally charged changed viewpoint to mums n tots... one respondent said " I think having a child who will need specialist care or who will cost the state taxpayers in allowances and frittering away NHS funds, when they could have not had that child, is SELFISH and ill though through.
It was the 2nd time today I told someone to go and get roundly fu**ed.
I am still reeling, my dd is on minimal specialist attention really, but even of she wasn't, do people really feel this way?
Hope this doesn't bring up any other hateful occasions like this one though.
xx kiwi

OP posts:
Issymum · 13/05/2004 11:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

Jimjams · 13/05/2004 11:12

45 minutes a month? Blimey you're blessed!

Which remids me must phone up and hassle LEA as his statement of SEN (which cots a lot of money to do- sorry guys- here I am being a tax burden again- mind you only local taxes this time so won't affect f* face) is currently not being met as he is not receiving SALT. Oh well that's saving the NHS some money. I'd hate to think he might cost them something.

(Ummm we pay over 100 pounds a week- from our (lack of) savings- credit card actually- for therapy for him- is that OK or should he still have been stoned to death at 3?)

coppertop · 13/05/2004 11:16

Of course we shall all have to make sure that these stonings/shootings don't affect the taxpayer in any way. We wouldn't want to be a burden now would we everyone??

misdee · 13/05/2004 20:52

if we're getting right of all burdens on nhs, then we best get rid of my dh. his basic perscription costs around 2k a year. i hate to think what the actual cost of the medication is.

stoopid woman.

hercules · 13/05/2004 20:57

I think you were very restrained kiwi. What a sad cow she is!
I remember my childminders neighbours turning down a place in my sons class because there is a boy with downs in it. They paid to go private instead. SOme people have very small minds to say the least.

hmb · 13/05/2004 21:02

I teach in secondary school an have now lost count of the number of children who have told me that they don't intend to work, as the 'social' will pay them as it has their parents and grand parents. And these are 'normal' kids (for want of a much better word), who are more than capable of getting a job, but they can't be bothered. So when has being able bodied ment that you are no drain on the NHS/welfare state?? I know who I think are the scroungers.

And what about my mother? She has dementia and needs 24/7 nursing care, what should we do with her?

emmatmg · 13/05/2004 21:23

I'm speechless really, been sat here for 10 minutes with an empty box starring back at me.........how can someone been so heartless?

Frogs, I speechless again, your post was so sad. I hope that your sister has found a happy place after such a heartbreaking experience.
I don't think I read a more touching and sad post on MN since I've been here. lots of love to you and your sister.

sis · 14/05/2004 11:33

Piffleoffagus, I am appalled at the plain meanness of that woman - I think, I would have just burst into tears if I had been in your position, so I am in awe of you being able to respond to her.

aloha · 14/05/2004 15:34

What an utterly vile person. I am reading this thread with my jaw down to my knees in horror and disbelief. I think your reply deserves a virtual round of applause. I wish there was an emoticon for that. Bloody hell, what a despicable sub-human she is.

secur · 14/05/2004 15:52

Message withdrawn

jimmychoos · 14/05/2004 16:05

Frogs - you have said it all with your moving post.

Kiwi - love and hugs to you and your dd.

ponygirl · 14/05/2004 16:06

frogs - I can honestly say that's the first time I have wept fully at a post. My heart goes out to your sister and family.

Piffle - Absolutely gobsmacked, like everyone else. I'll happily volunteer to throw a stone at the stupid cow free of charge!

AlanP · 14/05/2004 16:58

Not read the whole of this so apologies if this has been covered already, but did this person who accused you of being a social burden live an exemplary life:
Not smoke
Not over/under weight
No children (or refuses to accept child support from gov)
doesn't use a car
and all the other things that could cause an additional burden on our tax system?

If so - she may live longer and therby a burden on the pension system.

IMO the decission to terminate or not is difficult enough without stupid people putting their oar in.

lou33 · 14/05/2004 17:35

Piffle, I applaud your restraint at such an offensive clown.

Frogs, what an eloquent and touching story.

mieow · 14/05/2004 18:39

I have two social burdens (DS and DD1) they have cerebral palsy and as Misdee has said they cost the NHS thousands each year, but DH has paid taxes, and so did I when I was working, so I would have told her to get F**ked too......

lou33 · 14/05/2004 18:49

I have the potential of four. Three with hypermobile joints and a fourth with cerebral palsy. Neither of these conditions are detectable before birth, so I wonder what she suggests I do with them now!

I know what I would suggest she do with herself though.

Clarinet60 · 17/05/2004 10:39

Frogs, that was one of the most wonderful and moving posts I've ever read and I'll never forget it.
Thank you.

Clarinet60 · 17/05/2004 10:40

Piffle, I really think you should print this out and give it to that bastard woman.

willow2 · 17/05/2004 10:47

No, I don't feel that way - and would have joined you in telling them to get fuxxed.

cazzybabs · 17/05/2004 10:53

I would rather I paid more taxes so your children can get better care than they do.
I hope to god I never have to make a choice wether to keep a baby or not based on any special needs to may have. To abort all children if they have problems to me limits society and draws a dangerous line - what is a special need or not...?Not to say that everyone should keep their children either, but pro-choice I am in favour of!

Fio2 · 17/05/2004 10:53

somepeople are unbeleivable!

sugarplumfairy · 17/05/2004 11:15

Also can't believe there are individuals who think like this, she is entitled to her share in the event that she needs it but in the meantime she should be thanking her lucky stars that her children are not in need of regular medical help and be sympathetic to people who have a daily struggle with the workings of the NHS.
My friends child is 2 months down the road from contracting meningitis, getting slowly better but will need skin grafts, kidney function is looking dodgy, will need help to walk again at 3.5 yrs, as my friend said she's had all her taxes redeemed now and thats what its there for, you never know and neither does this person what is round the corner.

Blu · 17/05/2004 11:45

oooh, Piffle. How did the other Mums react when she said that? They must have been shocked, too. The woman really showed herself up...she has made her own uncomforatble bed to lie in!

Frogs - Huge thanks to your sister for having the courage to give her family, and all who hear of this story, the VERY valuable gift of enabling us to understand how valuable life is.

moominmama86 · 17/05/2004 12:06

Piffle - what goes around comes around. She'll get hers. (Sorry, I know that's not v. charitable but...)

Frogs - that's the first time reading a MN post has actually made me weep and it'll stay with me for a long time. There but for the grace of God go any of us.

Thomcat · 17/05/2004 16:30

If it wasn't so pathetic I'd be fuming. She's to be pitied. She's obviuosly a very ignorant person, what a terrible life she must lead.

My daughter who has Down's syndrome (and by the way Lou also has hypermobile joints!) isn't a burden to anyone and has every right to be in this world and deserves all the support she can handle to make sure she leads a happy fulfilled life, the same as everyone else.

She should be careful giving out ignorant comments like that, you never know what's going to happen and what goes around can come around ikywim.