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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Spluttering. Today got called a social burden!!!

87 replies

Piffleoffagus · 12/05/2004 21:04

Sorry its a bit long winded
Unreal, almost calm enough to type this now.

Usual mums n tots discussions and the subject of terminating a pregnancy when you found a "defect" came up.
I offered up my pearls of wisdom, that my DH and I recently realised. We had decided that if anything major showed up in the pregnancy we would consider termination due to possible impact on older sons life. Bear with me before leaping on me please...
We also said that had any test shown up that our dd was A Noonan Syndrome baby, we would have looked it up on google and possibly have terminated.
This was a very tearful and scary realisation for us, our girl is perfect in every way to us.
So.. I relay this emotionally charged changed viewpoint to mums n tots... one respondent said " I think having a child who will need specialist care or who will cost the state taxpayers in allowances and frittering away NHS funds, when they could have not had that child, is SELFISH and ill though through.
It was the 2nd time today I told someone to go and get roundly fu**ed.
I am still reeling, my dd is on minimal specialist attention really, but even of she wasn't, do people really feel this way?
Hope this doesn't bring up any other hateful occasions like this one though.
xx kiwi

OP posts:

marthamoo · 12/05/2004 21:14

Well I for one don't feel that way. Unbelievable. I'd rather my taxes (OK, dh's taxes!) went on care and specialised services for children with special needs than a lot of the things they do go on. I think I would have been so gobsmacked to hear someone come out with something like that I wouldn't have been able to speak, so good on you for teling her where to stick her views.

twogorgeousboys · 12/05/2004 21:15

Piffleoffagus

I honestly don't know what to say to you on this, I am utterly, utterly gobsmacked that someone could be so arrogant, rude and inhumane to say this to you.

twogorgeousboys · 12/05/2004 21:19

I have thought of something to say. I pity the woman's children - having a mother with such abhorrent views as their role model.

wobblyknicks · 12/05/2004 21:20

god, what a stupid thing to say. So having a child that needs extra care is selfish is it? So along those lines, anyone satying alive over their working age is selfish too! And so is everyone ill in hospital - hey, lets kill them all off!!

What a stupid woman - I hope she never has to go through having a child who needs special care but really hope she realises how stupid and insensitive she is anyway.

Freddiecat · 12/05/2004 21:21

sooo rude! was she a fat cow who smoked 40 a day? I really hope so as she will cost the state far more.

ha - maybe she is a SAHM who is not even paying taxes! (and I am just trying to show how two faced she might be - personally think that everyone has a right to a viewpoint regardless of tax paying situation but that's another discussion).

am so pleased you told her to get fu**ed

JJ · 12/05/2004 21:23

Did you really say "go and get roundly fucked"? Excellent!

Good for you! I'm really impressed. (With you, not her obviously.) I'm guessing most people who heard the conversation completely agreed with you and were silently cheering in their heads.

twiglett · 12/05/2004 21:24

message withdrawn

agy · 12/05/2004 21:27

There is no better way to spend nhs money than on innocent children who haven't brought their condition on themselves, unlike many adults in doctors' surgeries - smoking, not exercising, eating too much.

eddm · 12/05/2004 21:32

That's despicable, thoughtless, cruel and stupid. I have never met anyone who has said anything like that. I hope that means her views are very, very, very unusual as well as ill-informed.
Really do hope there is such a thing as karma.

Soapbox · 12/05/2004 21:32

Bloody cheeky cow! At least you managed to get somekind of response out - my problem is that I always think of the smart put down hours after the conversation took place!

Its always hard when you open up and reveal such sensitive things to have those vulnerabilities trodden on by some ignorant being. Still don't let it affect you. She has a bigger problem than you could ever have!

jampot · 12/05/2004 21:38

Well done for answering her appropriately! I don't feel like she does and am happy for any amount of money to go towards specialist assistance for kids regardless of disability, race, religion or need. She's pathetic and God help her kids.

frogs · 12/05/2004 21:43

Piffle -- these people are out there, but they have no brains and no sense, and are a complete waste of rations. Did you really tell her to "get f*cked"? I do hope so.

Jimjams · 12/05/2004 21:53

Stupid cow- yes lots of people feel like this. I've come across the look of disgust on a number of occasions. And they are the ones I would like to knock straight off the planet. My friend has a child with DS and when she was pregnant with her younger autistic son- she got poked in the belly by some vile creature in a post office queue saying that her DS son shouldn't have been born. A passer- by told the vile creature to fuck off.

These people are imbeciles and best ignored. Funny thing is - with a mother like that- however much specialist care you dd will need she'll be 100 times the kid that woman would ever be able to raise. Imagine what viewpoints her poor children will be overhearing.

I really must get some ready made answers prepared for this sort of question.

Jimjams · 12/05/2004 21:53

sorry comment- not question.

Twink · 12/05/2004 21:57

I do hope that she is a non-smoker who eats at least 5 portions of fruit & veg per day, with low cholesterol & BP & exercises 5 times per week and whose family have no predisposition to any illnesses which may cause her or them to be a burden on the Health Service.

What a stupid Fing Bch, and well done for saying at the time what most of us would have wished we'd said later !

Tommy · 12/05/2004 21:58

I can't believe someone would say that! I'm in shock! I hope she's never ill or she will have to be terminated too so that she won't fritter away NHS funds...

littlemissbossy · 12/05/2004 22:06

Piffleoffagus, some people are quite unbelievable. What a rude, rude cow! and good for you for telling her to get f**ked! No, most normal, sensible people do not share her opinion, we perhaps should feel sorry for her special needs, she is obviously brain dead! By the way, idea for next mums n tots session, go along armed with piece of paper with mumsnet.com and the number/description of this thread written on it and let her read this for herself.

katierocket · 12/05/2004 22:07

utterley despicable and awful.

how DARE someone say that, I mean just what the hell are some people on?!

good for you telling them to stick it. I'm honestly gobsmacked and saddened (but probably not surprised that people can be so ignorant.

Soapbox · 12/05/2004 22:12

Actually Tommy, maybe we should just put her out of her misery now and termintate her anyway. Perhaps for unintelligent use of her single brain cell. Maybe she only has use of it on a timeshare basis with the rest of her family

mrsforgetful · 12/05/2004 22:14

That reminds me of the day when i asked my GP to put 2 months supply of anti-depressants on 1 prescription to save me money- she declined.

I started to reassure her that i wouldn't overdose etc...she then said that it was the cost to the NHS that was her concern- and that 'people like me' delayed others having hip replacements as though a prescription costs me £6+...my drugs cost about £30 a month.

Basically i agree with the others here- I hope she doesn't ever 'burden' the NHS with her aches and pains.....she's just like the idiots who try to tell me what i SHOULD spend my son's DLA money on.....people with no 'illnesses' affecting their family are very lucky- and many of them try to understand us- however it is so annoying that it just takes one ignoramus and my soines go up!

misdee · 12/05/2004 22:16

i am shocked. my dd1 is by no means 'disabled' but her care and cost to the nhs must amount to a fair few thousands in her 4 short years. my dd problem? asthma and ezcema. not serious, but she needs to see specialists every 3months on average. my neice and nephew both have cerebal palsy, costing the NHS thousands a year. my cousin alswo has cerebal palsy, and another has ADHD.

if i had been there i would've told that women to do more than get f*cked.

misdee · 12/05/2004 22:19

mrs F, u just dont wanna know what our perscriptions would cost us in a month. thank god we have exemption certs.

wobblyknicks · 12/05/2004 22:21

soapbox - too right!!! Quite frankly, with stupid views like that, she's using up valuable planet space which could be used by someone who can actually think properly.

motherinferior · 12/05/2004 22:22

WTF does she think the NHS is FOR?

And indeed the Disability Discrimination Act?

Good for you for telling her.

dottee · 12/05/2004 22:22

What a cow!

Good on you Piffle!

Unfortunately, I have to agree with Jimjams that there are people out there like her. I wonder if she has WW2 Nazi origins?

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