You know you have special needs child when......

[ShinyHappyRocketsGoingBANG]

(a thread like this was the first I ever encountered on MN and I cried with laughter and relief. So can we have another one? It's too long ago to be able to find and resurrect..)

You know you have an SN child when...

..everything in your house is getting higher and higher in order to keep it out of harm's way.. so high that even poor-little-short-DH can't reach some things...

.. your storage cupboards are fixed together with hair bobbles...

..you have a whole filing cabinet devoted to the your SN child's various reams of paperwork...

When you have to buy hundreds of pairs of tights or vey thick trousers for you non walking but bumshuffling child.

When you can no longer blame excessive dribbling on teething.

Thought of a few more,

When you do a double take when seeing a child eating orally as you are so used to doing feeds through a mickey button.

When in the course of a normal days work you are guarunteed to be covered in saliva, occasionally covered in urine, rarely covered in vomit and the potential to be covered in poo but pray it never happens

You think of more and more inventive ways of singing "the wheels on the bus" in an attempt to keep it fresh.

When shopping for presents having to think very carefully as to what is and isn't suitable.

(Probably been done before but haven't read the whole thread...)

When your week is not full of playdates and "normal" fun baby and toddler activities but is full of appointments with doctors and therapists

(here's next week - Monday ENT, Tuesday physio, Wed special needs playgroup, Thursday grommets op, Friday recovery, but week of 26th even better - Monday opthalmologist, Tuesday physio, Wed ABR, Thursday - home visit by teacher for hearing impaired, Friday physio and vaccine for DS1)

Could not be more different to my life with DS1 when he was the same age...

when you hold a friends baby and forget that arms can move and grab and they hold their own heads up!

...when you wonder what it would be like to be Just A Mum ...rather than THERAPIST, TEACHER and PUNCHBAG.

or PA. I'd like not to have to use the phone for just one day.

...when people tell you to 'get out of the house a bit more' and 'have a life'
(they cannot see that THIS IS MY LIFE)

MrsF, agree, and if you do get to get out of the house, it's not for yourself or for a nice time out, it's to a dr or therapist....

You have seen lots of films (Nemo, Monsters Inc etc.,) but you couldn't tell anyone the whole plot.

You know when you have an autistic child with a cold when you switch off the front room lights and all the surfaces glow in the dark...

When your motto is:

I can handle any crisis, I have a special needs child

most of your friends from before have buggered off.

Or LSM, you have seen it so many times that you can recite the whole film word for word.

Message withdrawn

microwaveonly and needmorecoffee- I'm recognising what you're saying

When all the children at the nursery draw pictures to be turned into Christmas cards. All the other children (age 2 up) do "Snowman", "Santa and Sleigh" or "Christmas Picture" and the like, and your child's is called "Patterns".

Ah, ladygrinning, my ds 'draws' colours.
All in neat little splodges in a neat little line.
When the countdown clock music is the only sound that can make your ds come running back from the kitchen where he is hiding from his brother who has just returned from school(and has un-knowingly upset ds's environment iykwim)

When your with your child and meet someone and they always say 'oooh hasn't she got tall' coz they can't think of anything else to say! (DD is Autistic, with severe learning dif)

When you find that spelling out words in midsentance is second nature to you, (coz you daren't mention certain words, like CAR and DUCKS, coz you know you'll have to drop everything and go out in the car to feed the ducks!)

Thought of another one!!

When your Husband leaves you after 17 and a half years of Marriage and goes off with a Trollop and your child doesn't even notice that he's gone,!

Sorry to bring the thread down, just feeling a bit angry!!

Message withdrawn

Oh Geri2, I really feel for you. Whenever I got dumped, a few cigarettes, chocolate, champagne and crap telly worked well. Can you do any or all of those, when and if she is asleep? And the trollop may get a dose of reality when it comes to your husband's turn for childcare duties! Let's see how long she sticks it.

oooh pleased to see I havn't killed this thread!!
Mccreadymum, hope you didnt get dumped too often ;-) the thought has crossed my mind re childcare duties, will be interesting when it does happen!!

tobysmum, know exactly where you're coming from...

Geri - sorry to read that.

WHen you sign toilet and drink and coffee etc across the room to your husband and he knows what it means.

When you are so used to signing to your dd1 that you sign to all children even though they understand what you are saying.

You know when they're off school ill, as you don't brush your teeth, shower or even get dressed until lunchtime because you have to sort their 'little world' out first.

There are shops you have never been in because your child doesn't want to or you feel the risk is just not worth it.

You grow three extra pairs of hands and become an octopus.

when they have a cold you spend the whole time wiping their nose and picking the bogies out...........and they are 12

when your child's eating/sleeping/toilet training habits would make them on the face of it a prime candidate for supernanny.

you end the weekend covered in bruises (not being aggressive- just very sensory seeking).