You know you have special needs child when......

[ShinyHappyRocketsGoingBANG]

(a thread like this was the first I ever encountered on MN and I cried with laughter and relief. So can we have another one? It's too long ago to be able to find and resurrect..)

You know you have an SN child when...

..everything in your house is getting higher and higher in order to keep it out of harm's way.. so high that even poor-little-short-DH can't reach some things...

.. your storage cupboards are fixed together with hair bobbles...

..you have a whole filing cabinet devoted to the your SN child's various reams of paperwork...

Message withdrawn

Depressing innit TM!

I used to post amusing things on these threads.. now they're all whiney miserable ones!!! I've just thought of another..

....when a MNer recommends a book that might help with your Beastly SN child's Challenging Behaviour.. and you buy it immediately from Amazon despite the fact that you are £27 over your overdraft limit and incurring charges!

You've got to laugh haven't you!

Bless you Ruby

..When you find lovely clothes featuring Thomas the Tank Engine and Bob the Builder (DS's favourite characters) on them that would be ideal for him for Christmas... and the biggest size they do is age 4-5!

These are all still relevant a year later. It's November and ds2 is still trotting along in short sleeves and sunglasses while I walk along behing carrying his coat.

New ones would be:

You have a stash of Febreze in the cupboard in the hopes that it will remove the smell of your 7yr-old's wee from the cushions.

Teachers who have only been at the school for a few weeks already know your Reception child by name - despite actually being KS2 teachers. It's not a tiny school either.

Your NT toddler takes their nappy off and sits on the potty and you practically faint with shock as it's unheard of for your children to do that until at least the age of 4yrs.

I share a lot of yours shiny. All I have done this weekend is clear up destruction. And ds1 is getting dangerous. `As well as flooding the bathroom and kitchen this weekend (both several times, at least its not dangerous) ds1 has been found haivng lit all the gas burners merrily stirring potatoes, has put the washing up bowl (plastic) in the oven and turned it on and has decided to make cups of tea (boiled the kettle, used an entire pint of milk and boiling hot water). All new. We spend our lives negotiating locked bathrooms and kitchens (the locked bathroom makes me worried we'll be dealing with smearing again).

DS3 potty trained last week (shock for me too copper!) - and ds1 promptly started wetting himself (no idea why). So I have a dry 2 year old and an 8 year weeing everywhere. Great isn't it?

This thread made me smile. I work in a SN school, and I'm just as bad as you lot!
*you don't think it's unusual to know where every piece of electrical equipment is in peoples houses you've never been in.
*You go around your house arranging things into straight lines and right angles.
*You put your DH's dinner on the plate without any of it touching. And then you cut it up.
*Before you have your own DC's you know all the Thomas characters, including their numbers.
*You don't think it's unusal to be having your lunch while discussing contents of nappies.
*Ditto the makaton. I did it constantly with my first DD. She has now taught herself it and BSL (and my 6 year old), so 'no boys or girls ever feel lonely because they can't talk to anyone.'

This is why we have the maddening and nonsensical bloody sodding combination locks on the dog gates everywhere Yurt... DS has no restraint or concept of danger whatsoever. He thinks it.. he does it! But keeping him restrained is so frustating for him!

We so need our house move.

How tall are the dog gates shiny. I looked but they looked too small for us, unless it covers the entire doorway ds1 will be over it. Do you know if you can get them that big (failing that it's Davros' jewellers gate I think!)

Erm... not having a tape measure to hand Yurt, they come to halfway up the door way. He does constantly try to scale the gate by piling things up but he doesn't have the dexterity to get over it yet.

You smell something, go into the lads bedroom and discover your four year old has been busily painting the windows with poo.
Trips out are interesting as your child loves to shout random things out, eg "Number 14, our house!" at the top of his voice.
You hear your friends ask their not quite three year old if he liked the fireworks and are shocked when he says "I like the small fireworks but I don't like the rockets" and then feel proud of your own son when you ask him "are the fireworks good or bad? The fireworks are .." and then he signs and says "good".
When your child spends ages moving the toy lift up and down and doing nothing else.
When you can treat them in the shopping centre by letting them ride up and down in the lifts or up and down on the escalator since nothing is more exciting to them.
When their sense of humour relates to giggling hysterically at peekaboo games or "this little piggy".

...when you feel like nobody actually cares and the people at DLA, Social Services and SEN department at LEA cause you to laugh hollowly when they claim it's nothing to do with money...

and when you bore your friends to death when you text excitedly, 'we got high rate DLA!' or 'we got ds's statement - full time!' or 'we got a Blue Badge at last so we can actually leave the house!'

...also when the littlest things make you do the biggest smile. (like the sleepy 'love you, Mummy' when I put his duvet back on him at night) yeah, making myself a little sick now!

olh thanks shiny- ds1 woud manage that (he moves furniture if necessary )

... When the builders come to redecorate your room and thank you for stripping the wallpaper off ready for them, if only they knew!

(so does DS, Yurt, I rescued DS1's (big!) TV from it's position of hanging by a "thread" from a high wardrobe this morning! Have no idea how DS2 reached it! It is the only thing of DS1's still left in the room, since he moved out to sleep on DD's bedroom floor, so as to get a bit of sleep away from DS2! He also climbs.. but does quite substantial foot holds which is why I am getting away with the gates still.. I am hoping against hope that he will develop some self restraint before he can scale them. How do you keep your DS in his bedroom at night?)

(And please.. are you Gess? or JimJams? Put me out of my misery!)

...When at work you give instructions one at a time because you think everyone can't cope with more than one instruction at a time.

...When you know your way around the hospital better than the staff.

pmsl graciefer.

gawd- tv thing sounds scary shiny. Gess and Jimjams were the same person you know shiny?

I know, I know.... but have they now become Yurt?

(the different names are because when I really need a break I delete myself so I can't post, but then you can't reuse an old name).

yurt was meant to be a 'hidden' occasional post name, but then I got drawn in again (which is why I deleted myself in the first place).

I need to change again.

I don't give a rat's arse what you call yourself, I'm just glad you're back!

When you spend an hour pretending to be a chimp so that you can say OO OO OO over and over again and when they copy you, you do an extra roly poly in joyus relief.