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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

To think it is ridiculous there is no help for us

279 replies

Edenviolet · 12/02/2014 14:08

All four dcs have disabilities/other health problems.

All four receive dla, 2 receive higher rates for both components.

Recently had a CAF referral done, initially we were told we would get 3 hours respite a week, then the sw manager said no we didn't qualify for that scheme.
We were told the early intervention team couldn't help us and we we referred to children with disabilities team.

CWD team said no, they would not take on our case as none of dcs have learning difficulties.

Sw then referred to the children in need team, they said they would not take the case on as dcs have lifelong conditions and they only deal with short term conditions whereas CWD deal with long term (but only if there's a recognised learning problem as well).

Sw is closing our case, thes nothing she can do and no help she can offer.

I can't believe we are stuck in between each SS team and none of them can offer us any help or support.

OP posts:

wetaugust · 13/02/2014 18:43

It wasn't aimed at Hedgehog - she wants to get help.

Yes, there are do-ers and their are bleaters.

There are those who would move heaven and earth for their kids and there are those who have a ready excise for any constructive sugeestions that are made. And yes, the bleaters do let their children down. I fail to see what is so contentious about that. It's not down to coping or ability it's just a complete and utter preference to bleat rather than to do anything positive.

Don't think you are threatening me by posting deleted threads - you post what you want. Don't confuse me with someone who gives a flying fuck what you post.

Some people are like a dog with a frigging bone, as Rhubard and Zombie found out recently. They are just wind-up merchants. They just want to play everyone as far as they can.

Well congratulations you've done a good job of winding me up.

Happy now - gonna offer me one of your fucking tissues?

Maryz · 13/02/2014 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 13/02/2014 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberLeaf · 13/02/2014 18:47

Yes, there are do-ers and their are bleaters

Are people still going to say that wetaugust didn't mean it like that?

I think that post is even clearer on what she thinks.

AmberLeaf · 13/02/2014 18:51

To earlier posters, yet again bringing up how the SN boards are unwelcoming if you're not doing whatever the alleged 'hive SN mind' are doing, sorry, that is bollocks. There is no party line, no one way of doing, the SN boards are the sum of their parts, the day to day and occasional users of the boards, come and take part. It is not what you think

I would have 100% agreed with you at one point Polter.

I agree there is more than one way of doing things that you will see on here, absolutely.

But wets posts show that some people will hurl abuse at you if you don't do it their way.

Very unpleasant and the very opposite of supportive.

MsLT · 13/02/2014 18:53

"It's the people who bleat on constantly without doing anything practical at all to improve their situation are the people who bug me. They are the people who are letting their children down."
Maryz Are you saying that you don't believe there are people out there like that? Because there are - sadly.

wetaugust · 13/02/2014 18:53

So what's wrong with thinking that?

We say on here You are your child's only advocate

If you won't advocate don't expect others to. That's letting the child down.

I don't know why you find that so offensive. It's better to have tried to move heaven and earth than to sit back and be told 'help is impossible to secure'.

That's defeatism before you've even started. Butit seems that defeatism is a valid option according to those on here who truly do believe that there is no support.

wetaugust · 13/02/2014 18:54

Thank you MrsLT. For a moment I thought I lived in fairy land.

claw2 · 13/02/2014 18:55

From what I read, Wet was giving practical advice, then a few posters misinterpreted that advice. Then everything got out of hand.

I will say that the SN section is usually very welcoming and you do not often see these kind of arguments here, which is why I tend to only post here and not the rest of MN.

So ladies, may I suggest we all give it a rest now.

Ledaire · 13/02/2014 18:57

WTAF? Bringing Rhubard and Zombie into this discussion is completely unfair!

AmberLeaf · 13/02/2014 18:59

If you won't advocate don't expect others to. That's letting the child down

Won't or can't?

It's not down to coping or ability it's just a complete and utter preference to bleat rather than to do anything positive

How do you know what it's down to?

PolterGoose · 13/02/2014 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberLeaf · 13/02/2014 19:01

From what I read, Wet was giving practical advice, then a few posters misinterpreted that advice. Then everything got out of hand

Wet was giving practical advice, she was also casting judgement on/insulting people who for various reasons have not been able to secure support for their child.

Her post that I bolded a few posts back again clarifies what she thinks.

MsLT · 13/02/2014 19:03

No you're not wet I understand what you are saying and see evidence of it regularly in my line of work. It is tragic. However, the adults I am talking about are usually in dire need themselves. Unfortunately, we do not live in a society where everyone behaves as one might expect. Children suffer and it is a form of neglect.

AmberLeaf · 13/02/2014 19:04

Amber one poster, one thread. That does not diminish the wonderful support that goes on every single day on this board

I agree there is support here.

But posters like wetaugust put people off. It is a shame, but don't be pissed off at the people wet is insulting and alienating. They haven't done anything wrong and yes it does feel unwelcoming.

Who needs that sort of shit? isn't real life difficult enough.

claw2 · 13/02/2014 19:10

Amber I have never seen someone on here who cant/wont cope, be told to stop bleating. I have seen them pointed in the right direction.

However, I have seen posters who continually post about the same thing, after being told numerous times where they can get help, been provided with links, had their hand held, be told to get on with it. Including myself.

I should imagine by bleating, Wet means no one can help you, if you are not prepared to help yourself.

MsLT · 13/02/2014 19:11

I should imagine by bleating, Wet means no one can help you, if you are not prepared to help yourself.
THIS ^^

Nerfmother · 13/02/2014 19:12

I post on sn sometimes and generally it is very supportive. Especially with the day to day stress if having a child with sen.
Sometimes people are a little bosh bash bosh on what posters need to do with regards statutory assessment or appeals etc but I don't tend to post on them. I can see it might feel a bit forceful.
I have only ever had one horrible response in five years though.

claw2 · 13/02/2014 19:13

Wet has never put me off posting, in fact quite the opposite. I have started threads with her name and others in the title as I know she will give no nonsense, straight talking advice.

AmberLeaf · 13/02/2014 19:14

if you are not prepared to help yourself

Do you not grasp the concept of someone having nothing left to help themselves with?

That's what rock bottom is.

AmberLeaf · 13/02/2014 19:19

No nonsense, straight talking advice is good and helpful. If that's what you want/need.

'There there' and 'chin up' is good and helpful. If that's what you want/need.

Yes, there are do-ers and their are bleaters

Is neither good or helpful. No one needs or wants it and it is just nasty.

So however much good and helpful advice is given, no one has the right to say stuff like that, then start hurling insults when people take exception to it.

claw2 · 13/02/2014 19:21

Amber sometimes people might just want to rant, off load and have a moan. I think most on here get that and are very sympathetic.

Others might be at rock bottom and again the advice I have seen on here is to point them in the right direction of organisations of people who can help etc.

What more can the SN board do?

AmberLeaf · 13/02/2014 19:23

What more can the SN board do

The board can do no more, but individual posters could try keeping a lid on their venom.

MsLT · 13/02/2014 19:23

Amber there are people with nothing left to give who are in dire need themselves and there are also people who are too selfish to give, who want to pass responsibility onto others.

Owllady · 13/02/2014 19:27

This thread is horrible
I think some of you need to step back and calm down a bit
Sorry to sound like my mother

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