Can we talk about MNSN, and the community/support/chat etc?

[silverfrog]

This thread may not be a good idea. I am severely sleep deprived (ds has decided yet again that sleep is for the weak, and I have had about 4 hours sleep since Sunday), and had the morning from hell getting dd2 off on a school trip - change of routine, needed ot wear tracksuit not uniform, different drop off/pick up - you all know the score. If you all think it is a bad idea, please feel free to report and have it deleted.

Anyway.

Can we have a thread where we try to sort out some of the perceived isues with MNSN?

I keep seeing, on the main boards, posts saying that MNSN is not suportive. That some faces don't fit. That it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Fine. I get that not everybody is the same, and may not want the same things form this board as me, or other posters. But it isn't really said here, and so we don't reallt get right of reply.

It's a bit like talking about us behind our backs.

I know there have ben disagreements and differences over the years. I have been part of some of them, but on the whole I thought we muddled through quite well - expcially given that we are all under a reasonable amount of stress most of the time, and that we all face fairly different challenges on a daily basis.

So - what do people want form MNSN? Is there anything we (as a community) can do to welcome people who feel left out? Anythign we can do to help posters who lurk rather than post?

I am rather hoping htis might be a moving forward discussion, rather than a re-hash of any he said/she said grievances. BUt as I said earlier, maybe this is entirely misguided. Sorry if it is.

It's totally unfair. Threads were started and deleted. I had no right of reply on them.

Then we are told that 'others' feel 'similarly'. We have no right of reply, because anything we say is deleted.

Other posts which portray this topic as unsupportive and alludes to posters being unwelcome are left, presumably because they are 'opinion.'

It's just marvellous.

I didn't read those comments before they were deleted, and was pretty surprised to see there were even any, esp from posters like you lougle as I don't think I've ever seen you being offensive. Makes more sense now.

I do wonder whether MNHQ are being this over zealous vigilant in response to the cries over the last year or so about seemingly turning a blind eye to disablist comments. (Not that the comments were disablists of course, just mean being more vigilant in general.)

coff33pot, I think that may be veering into Motorwayist territory. Why not the M4 and what has the M25 done to you?

I'm going to try to get back to the point. I think MNSN is fantastic, I have had great support, even though I also do think that it can be cliquey, I hate honking, caring carrots, and there are posts and posters who regularly make me roll my eyes, I fear that we can always have opinions about what is right for our children and when others disagree, or even think it is not what they do or would do for their child it does come across as a criticism. The difference I see is mainly, what is on this board is stuff that matters and it is easy to take things personally when it's not intended as such. But it's like anywhere, you have to pick and choose.

I do have opinions I daren't post here, even though I truly believe them because I would rather not cause offence, and I can see why others may disagree with them. As such I tend to see this board as practical, and a place to rant rather than to discuss what I really think and that is a shame, but there are other places for that.

I also wish there was more support for people who are looking for the non asd/ADHD info. It does feel that parents dealing with those conditions are the majority and other threads can get a bit lost as they fall of the active convesations lists, but that is self selection, if people like me don't post about other stuff/conditions etc we won't be found as easily. But all talk boards evolve and so has this board.

I have never sworn in a thread. I know this, because I don't swear in RL. Ever. The nearest I came was 'ODFOD' and that is the one and only time I've used it.

I have just PMSL at Hazy randomly shouting wankers! at poor zen

the joys of cross posting,

am resisting the urge to post naughty words.... just....

Arseholes!!!! (damn couldn't resist for long)

The M1 is a sod of a motorway. Like the M25, it's safe to play on for hours at a time as the traffic crawls by in first gear.
M4 is a bit nippier.

ffs

that looks like lougle and i were bang out of order, when we were having a discussion, like proper grown ups

we might have a difference of opinion, but since the discussion moved on without blood being shed, i'm a bit pissed off that someone decided to tell tales

'I'm going to try to get back to the point.'

How rude!

Well the beauty of that, Esther, is that when all's done, history can be rewritten and I'll be pasted as the big bad poster who bullied

Do I get to sob that I don't drink wine?

It really isn't a 'choice' - I hate the taste and I get migraines.

I wish I did like wine and didn't get migraines.

thereonthestair the thing about this board being ASD-dominant is two-fold imo. 1) it's a self-perpetuating thing - if few people post about other conditions, the number of threads decrease, then posters both old and new feel that there isn't sufficient traffic to share experiences, get advice etc. 2) neurological conditions, esp ASD are becoming more and more common in RL, so it's likely that there are more parents with dc with ASD than any other single disability.

A possible 3) might be that there aren't many forums for ASD. Don't know how this compares to other conditions, but the ASD 'world' is so split and diverse that there's not really a single charity/board than encompasses and welcomes all.

I don't know, I leave a thread for a day and you all get naughty and sweary!

I'm not coming back here again you foul-mouthed bunch of cliquey bullies

in case MNHQ thinks I'm being serious and excludes me. I know my bloody rights!

i don't consider that a beauty, not at all lougle

i know you had your tongue in your cheek, but that could be true

deleting our comments could make it harder to move on at all - it is there for all to misconstrue for ever more

thereonthestair - DD1 doesn't have ASD, she has 'squiffy brain'. I still find that many, many, things do work in both situations.

I have also found, that since I moaned on a few years ago, there are far less threads that say 'What would your ASD child do when....' or 'ASD Mums, how would you...' which is a good thing, because the parent of a child with CP may still have behavioural issues and the parent of a child with ASD may still have physical issues,etc.

But maryz, they wouldn't delete them just cos someone reports them - anyone can say they're offended by anything but doesn't mean it's actually offensive does it -I thought MNHQ would be more objective

'I'll be pasted as the big bad poster who bullied'

No, because we will all rock up and remember exactly what happened and point that out to anyone misinterpreting what sort of a person you really are.

Have you tried beer?
Or long tall cocktails with frilly bits?
Or does all alcohol give you a headache?

I fully expect it, Esther. It's the irony of these things. The clever posters are the ones who post then get their posts deleted. The fools are the ones who post and then other posters get their posts deleted.

Lesson learned, and all.

Breathing gives me a headache .

I genuinely can't enjoy most alcohol. I did go through a phase of taking advocat and lemonade, but tbh, that was just because people thought I was odd for not drinking alcohol.

In general, I have J2O, watered down because the taste is too strong neat

lougle what about beer?

Lougle - we all know what happened.