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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

To soak ds1 in disinfectant?

134 replies

hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 20:37

ds1 has pooed in the bath Sad He's taken a whole load of plastic figures in there, played with them and there's faecal bits floating around in there now.

I've drained the bath, swilled him down with warm water and am now refilling it with disinfectant in.

I'm disgusted Angry

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Fakebook · 17/09/2012 20:54

You could use dettol, if you have any.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 20:54

He's been seen by CAMHS off and on during his life, but they tell me he doesn't have any SN. We had him assessed privately and they said he has adhd and dyspraxia. Local Authority aren't interested. He copes okay at school. Life has been terrible since he was two years old. We've never had any support, just a load of shit from CAMHS. No referral to a paead. I blame the GP Angry

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LadySybildeChocolate · 17/09/2012 20:56

You need to go and see a different GP, you can't live like this.

sleepybump · 17/09/2012 20:56

Oh and mention it to the gp, there will be pelvic floor type excercises i bet could help him with that (not something he wamts to take with him into adulthood id suspect!)

Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 20:57

It's too late, he's 14 now. Nobody will help us. The GPs are useless, everyone is useless. He's coping at school, so I get no backup from them. We just get on with it.

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Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 20:58

He's clean and rinsed off now. No more baths, he'll have to shower instead. This is our sodding life.

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sleepybump · 17/09/2012 20:59

Sorry xpost. My brother has dyspraxia so controlling some bodily functions can be difficult. I'd also speak to another gp about talking to someone professional about it.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 21:01

We've been to three GPs in the practice. They just refered us to CAMHS who fobbed us off. I have no place left to go. He's becoming old enough to refuse to see the GP now as well. He's just said he doesn't want anybody talking about his bum Sad

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Socknickingpixie · 17/09/2012 21:02

hidden, do you have a child advocacy service in your area? something like ask,its hard to explain what it is but if you google ask child advocacy you will find what i mean they are very helpful when sn are involved and a private dx is good enough for them to help you out.

LadySybildeChocolate · 17/09/2012 21:05

Have you tried your school nurse? They can be incredibly helpful and supportive, so it could really help. Just tell the school that you'd like to speak to her, you don't need to tell them what it's about.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 21:07

Yes, we've been to a carers support/advocacy place, but they just send me leaflets about leisure activities. The woman did help me to fill in a DLA form without me having a LA diagnosis, so CAMHS probably thought I was just after DLA when we had our last visit to them Sad

I don't know the right words to use to obtain help. Other people get help, but not us. I'm a nurse, I'm intelligent, I should know what to say and where to go, but I don't Sad It's like some secret society that I'll never be able to infiltrate. I feel like tearing my hair out.

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Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 21:10

Nobody accepts a private diagnosis. Even the people who believe you aren't qualified to hand out help/advice/therapy.

He should have been referred to a developmental paed years ago, but I didn't know this. I thought CAMHS were qualified to identify and diagnose SN, but then I find out they're not Sad

I feel like I've been swimming through treacle all these years. His childhood has been a nightmare, dh lost his job through the family stress, I can only work PT, we just limp along. You get used to it and accept it as normal after a while. I honestly loathe and detest our GPs - they just don't 'get it' and have no idea of who to refer you to Sad

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LadySybildeChocolate · 17/09/2012 21:10

Sad Call the school tomorrow, tell them that you'd like the school nurse to contact you. When he/she calls, give her a brief run down and ask her if she can come out and see you. Write all of your concerns down in the mean time, and give her the sheet if it helps. It's so different when it's your own child. You can do this though!!

Socknickingpixie · 17/09/2012 21:12

i totally understand how you feel. how about posting on the sn board and asking for surgestions ect and help.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 21:12

What's a nurse going to do? Do they have this knowledge? I've seen a school doctor in the past and she was no help either. I feel like I'm going mad.

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Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 21:13

I was told to ask to see a developmental paed, but surely he's too old for a pead now? I know time is running out for me to get him help. He'll be an adult soon.

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StealthPolarBear · 17/09/2012 21:14

oh sorry for the pisstaking op, didnt realise his age or that there were other issues. When you're knee deep in toddler poo yourself you get quite short sighted. Why does he say he does it?

LadySybildeChocolate · 17/09/2012 21:15

The school nurses will support you, and they will know what services to access. Give them a try, they can help with such a lot.

Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 21:15

How do others get help? Is it because their kids are troublesome at school? ds was trouble at school, but they got him a bit of help and he settled down. His primary school lied to CAMHS and told them he was fine whilst at school. It was all lies. Two weeks after he was discharged from CAMHS he was attacked in the school playground by a parent helper.

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TheCalmingManatee · 17/09/2012 21:15

oh gosh, you poor thing, you sound like you are really having a hard time :( I think you should post something on the special needs section of the board. Why is he with CAMHs? isn't that for mental health issues? Maybe post on there, im sure there will be someone who can point you in the right direction.

Just make him use the shower for now, baths do relax the bowels considerably so he may not really be aware he is doing it. I have, um, followed through, in the bath before now, he wont be the only one to have done this. Maybe ask him to make sure he empties his bowels before he has a bath. If not, showers from now on.

Please get some help though, you sound like you are at the end of your tether Thanks

LadySybildeChocolate · 17/09/2012 21:17

Those who shout the loudest get help the quickest, hidden. Seriously, do contact the school nurses.

TheCalmingManatee · 17/09/2012 21:17

I am going to ask MNHQ to move this to SN, you seem overwhelmed, if we get it posted there, there will be someone who can help, im sure xx

Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 21:17

I'm in touch with the school nurse because of his nut allergy. I can give her a ring I suppose.

I don't mind toddler poo Stealth Grin

I have a recurring corneal abrasion and have to avoid eye infections at all costs, so I get all upset about soiling in the bath because I did end up at the eye hospital once through this. Dh caught at infection too. This was a while ago though. I thought everything would be okay now

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Socknickingpixie · 17/09/2012 21:18

the school dr/nurse could make a referal to the educational phycoligist (sorry i never spell that word correctly) in turn they can do stuff that can get a ball rolling.

you see paeds untill your an adult so its worth trying again

Original poster
hiddenhome · 17/09/2012 21:19

LadySybile I'm a right gobshite and do push for help. I think that's why they don't like me Grin I don't know the right things to say in order to be taken seriously. I don't know the magic words.

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