contemplating suicide

[wishingtobeanon]

I really feel whats best for DS and I is to end our lives. However I look at him and think I can't do it. So I think I'll end my own, then I worry about what will happen to everyone if I'm not around. Do I just need guts or is it because I'm not a bad person or something else?

sorry post here as DS is disabled and don't know where else to post.

Please ring your GP now. What would your lovely boy do without you. Has something happened are you feeling alone. Please talk to someone

It's so very different & so very difficult when you are thrown into life as the parent of a 'special' child.

I will not be the only other one who has felt as you do at some point.

Hang in there & keep posting here, great place.

You are in my thoughts, wish I could do more. X

I agree. Call your GP or the Samaritans.

Sorry it's tough right now :(

x

You aren't a bad person, just in a bad place right now, don't ever think that please.

Call your GP, go to A&E, call the Samaritans NOW.

Many of us feel like this at times. I remember driving over a high bridge and thinking how easy it would be to drive off it. But I'm glad I didn't because things do get better at times; help is available, sometimes, when we are at our most desperate and ask for it.

Of course you should worry about how it would affect everyone else. You are, I'm sure, needed and loved.

Please ask for help.

thing is what happens when everything has been tried and tested and life's still shit!

P.S Iv'e namechanged.

Often its only when we get this desperate that the help we needed all along arrives. Call your GP and be honest, Tell them you feel this way. Is your child under social services disabled children's team? Are you getting respite? If so ring his / her social worker and ask for more help. Again you have to be honest, you have to say you are not managing.

Putting a disabled child into foster care or residential school is a valid option, you do not have to manage on your own.

Thanks everyone, he is know to SS and the GP etc know DS and what he's like etc, it's just DS breaks the mould with it all so to speak.

You have to tell everyone how you are feeling.....

PS I knew you were a name changer. I know how crap it is for you.

Would you consider residential?

Sometimes we say everything's been tried, but sometimes the things we've tried that didn't work at that time DO work later. Only saying that to show that you can't lose hope permanently if one thing doesn't work.

I think Agnes's point about more respite or a residential school is valid.

If we as parents can't cope, something has to change to enable us to cope again.

Ringing the GP and SW and being honest is ESSENTIAL. it might just improve things.

Please keep posting here too. You are not alone. We can't do what you do but we can listen and tell you that you are needed and wanted and that you are worth more than this and that you deserve to be supported.

Please speak to your GP now. Tell them you have had enough and that they need to get social services to you urgently.

I do cope with him, however it is no life, just an isolated, lonely, prisoned existence. If there was just me and him nothing else would matter but it's not like that. DD missed her appointment this am as DS wouldn't leave the house. Yes I know he is a 2 person ratio but again lifes not perfect and I can't split myself in two. Yes I know it's the same for everyone but if you were tied to the house 24/7 you would and do get sick. I'm fed up of DS not being able to have or do anything other than the house. And I know it's just an appointment but it's one of many, it's not having friends as he won't access there houses etc, he won't access his own garden etc...........sorry rambling now

I don't think it is an uncommon feeling tbh, at least to consider it as one of the options. Life can be tough and cruel.

But death is gonna happen for both of you regardless - , but you'll miss any opportunity to have some happiness and as tough as things can be, and as stressful, things can and do change.

You need to be proactive in making the changes though and that means a visit to the GP or a call to the Samaritans.

And btw, I don't think that all SN parents are equal and that it is the same for everyone. Some are much luckier in the resources they have, and some less so. Level of SN also has nothing much to do with being able to cope or not, so please don't compare.

The fact is that you have reached a point where you are feeling helpless for whatever reason and can't see outside of your current situation and you need resources from outside. You need scream until you get them.

There are all kinds of residentials too. You might actually see more of your DS for quality time that way.

Didn't want to not respone, thinking of you

I am so sorry you feel like this.

Please ring the SS, GP, samaritans...ANYONE...you need help x

Please please take the advice from the people on here.

Dont take your own life because it will ruin your dd's life too. You need help not to die

So sorry you are feeling like this and hope you can ask for some proper help from your GP or Samaritans. You need to tell someone in RL how bad you are feeling. Don't wait get help now.