contemplating suicide

[wishingtobeanon]

I really feel whats best for DS and I is to end our lives. However I look at him and think I can't do it. So I think I'll end my own, then I worry about what will happen to everyone if I'm not around. Do I just need guts or is it because I'm not a bad person or something else?

Have been thinking of you today and really hope it has been a little easier x

Just thought I better check into the clinic......lol

Feeling a bit better today but that could be something to do with getting stuck into the housework and having a break from DS.

I won't go to my original name for the thread in case more realise who it is. As light has come to realise and said nicely about having a lot on my plate.

Someone also inboxed me a few month back saying I should highlight my whole predicament instead of short outbursts, as I should be supported to get through everyday lol, not just at the really tough times.

They said it's about time I stopped supporting and got support lol.

I know you all mean well and I appreciate it all, however the GP, SS etc all know the situation and how dire it is. There isn't much that can be done and we have tried and tried, strategy after strategy and back again. The profs who stick by us all recall they haven't met someone like him and how they are at a loss with their struggle with DS.

I am usually quite a strong person but this year has got me and it's not even been one of the worst.

More [hugs]

I understand the frustration of strategies with DS either falling flat or having a limited shelf life. I so often end up being the one with the ideas that actually help DS1 for a short while that I get to the point that I'd rather keep all the "annoying" (to him) people out of his way.

Even if your situation with your DS can't be changed at all, please do everything you can to make sure you are looked after and not neglected or fobbed off. Please don't tell me that you are a lost cause :o

From someone who has things like this cross my mind in the past i came to realise it wasnt death i wanted but just for the situation to die so to speak. I hope that you can see what i am saying. You just feel so hopeless, and can see no way out but i imagine you dont actually want to die but want some help and that is what i hope you will seek for yourself. By all means tell the gp you are suicidal and that will give them the kick up the backside to actually help you!!! Push for it, thinking of you.

Wishing, just checking in to see how things are with you. Hope you can manage to speak to your GP about help for you. There may not be any obvious way to change the situation you are in at the moment but there might be a way to help you feel less ground down by it all - medication, counselling, more effective respite might help. I know that somehow changing things for the better for your ds would ultimately be the only thing that would transform your situation but the interventions to help you might at least help you keep going meanwhile.

Hi Wishing hope today is bit better for you (although with the crap weather it gets me down). Sending big (((((hugs))))) your way xx

Wishing. How are you?

Bump ?

Hi wishing. So much great support for you on here! Hope you can keep getting some comfort from everyone and keep talking too. I know it can't solve the problems but it might help you feel a bit better. Glad you got on top of some of your housework too.

Hello wishing. I've been away and have just seen this. Please keep on keeping on. I really hope you can get something sorted for your DS that helps you as well as him. You deserve some better times.

Wishing, has residential school been tried?

Just checking in to see how you are wishing

Hope you have managed to chat to your GP and that today is calmer for you x

Hi wishing. How are you feeling today?

thanks everyone, I'm ok, still here and bloody hate Monday mornings!!!

Hear hear on the Monday mornings!

(We're having our Monday, tomorrow. Got another day off)

lol, I have one at home full time............makes it harder, as I need to be dressed before DH goes to work, I'm not a morning person at all.

Morning wishing another Monday morning blues here too!

Fortunately it was just DD to get into gear after the hols as DS is no longer at infants thank goodness However I now have the job of trying to keep him amused whilst trying to do my accounts............mmmm maybe I teach him filing :)

Be glued to the computer most of the day with paperwork if you want a natter :)