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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

Teacher just mentioned autism at parents evening... what next?

111 replies

Puffinsaresmall · 26/04/2012 19:35

Hello

DD is 7 and has always been quite rigid and black and white about things. If you say to her you'll do something later then she takes that as a 'promise' and gets very upset if plans then change. She also gets upset if rules are 'broken' and doesn't seem to understand that people can make mistakes, she can be very pedantic. I assumed this was all par for the course for a 7 year old.

At parents evening her teacher said 'I shouldn't really say this.... but erm... I think she may be on the very edge of the autism spectrum' The other teacher (dd's class has two) didn't seem that happy with her choice of words. I said 'what next, do i need to take her to the GP or ed psych etc' and this teacher was very 'No need for labels, if you want to take her somewhere then do but might grow out of...certainly doesn't need drugs... etc etc'

They went on to say that DD is very bright and the first teacher said 'yes and that's often true of children on the spectrum'.

Anyway - what do I do now? How do you know if your child is autistic? Is there anything I should be doing?

Sorry if this isn't very coherent, just got back and still a bit bemused I think.

OP posts:

BerryCheesecake · 26/04/2012 19:40

You could go to your gp and ask for a referral. In our local
Authority, children get seen and assessed much quicker if parents go via their GP.

GerardWay · 26/04/2012 19:41

I don't have much advice but I didn't want to read and run. Does the school have a 'special needs' person that you could talk to?

BerryCheesecake · 26/04/2012 19:42

She may not be, she may just be the way she is.

There are some useful websites etc online or a section on mumsnet tj

BerryCheesecake · 26/04/2012 19:42

*although. It sure what it's under... Possibly behaviour/development.

Original poster

Puffinsaresmall · 26/04/2012 19:46

Thank you.

Will make gp appointment in am. I don't think the school have a SN person, its a very small school, but will check with them.

Wasn't sure where to post this thread, should I move it to behaviour?

OP posts:

BerryCheesecake · 26/04/2012 19:47

You'll prob get more traffic here tbh :)

AmberLeaf · 26/04/2012 19:48

Report your post and in the box that comes up ask it to be moved to SPECIAL NEEDS: CHILDREN board.

AmberLeaf · 26/04/2012 19:48

You'll get more experienced and knowledgable advice over in special needs TBH.

Original poster

Puffinsaresmall · 26/04/2012 19:49

Thank you both, will report

OP posts:

AmberLeaf · 26/04/2012 19:50

All schools should have a SENCO [special needs co ordinator]

special needs board Come over and have a read

whatkungfuthat · 26/04/2012 19:51

The school should have a SENCO (special needs co-ordinator) if children with statements attend. They may be part time though. Ask to speak to them as they may not have any worries, it sounds like the other teacher doesn't agree.

sparkles281 · 26/04/2012 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noblegiraffe · 26/04/2012 20:07

Do you want an official diagnosis of autism for your daughter? You don't have to get one.

AmberLeaf · 26/04/2012 20:09

You dont have to get one but if she was autistic you would need a diagnosis to access support services.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 26/04/2012 20:13

Just saw your post, I normally hang out on SN Children as my DS has ASD. Did your DD have any delays with her speech? She sounds like she's likely to be very high functioning, maybe Aspergers if anything. Obviously can't diagnose (DX) over the internet. The teacher was probably going out on a bit of a limb, mentioning autism. It's not generally recommended to bring up particular DXs when you aren't medically qualified to do so, but TBH, it's better to know there may be some issues and deal with them or have them ruled out rather than being in the dark.

The school will have a SENCo, it may be a 1/2 day a week only but all schools have them. She or he may not themselves be very experienced. I'd talk to them, but recommend reading up on Aspergers or ASD and going via your GP to get a referral to a developmental paed if you are at all concerned. The National Autistic Society is a good place to start. www.autism.org.uk/

Come and post on SN children for lots of experience and support. There are less girls DXed with autism than boys, so it's less commonly understood, but we happen to have a number of parents with girls on the board.

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 26/04/2012 20:14

I'd be inclined to a) pop over to the SN board (we don't bite!) b) make an appointment to talk to the teacher/s in more depth to ask exactly what issues they perceive and then depending on your own gut feeling..c) make a GP appointment and as for a referral to the community paed as a starting point.

Maybe your DD is on the spectrum, maybe she isn't but the only way to find out is to follow up :)
Not keen on the teacher's generalisations tho.. yes you can be very bright and on the spectrum.. you can also have profound learning disabilities or be anywhere in between (My son has autism and mod learning diffs..smack bang in the middle!)
I have also never met anyone who has 'grown out of it' (my job is working with autistic young adults), although those with milder traits can and do learn to compensate and blend in to a greater or lesser extent.

Neither SENCOs nor teachers are qualified to diagnose autism, but an experienced teacher may well spot a red flag that is worth following up.. and at the least it sounds as though your DD's teachers are in tune with your daughter's personality, which is great:)

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 26/04/2012 20:18

How is she socially and emotionally? Does she understand jokes, does she read facial expression and body language? Autism covers what is called the triad of impairments so as well as inflexible thinking she would have difficulties in other areas too.

Original poster

Puffinsaresmall · 26/04/2012 20:29

Lots to think about and read thank you

She's always been very 'bright' - language of a much older child, very quick, always wants to know more (so if she wants to know why a Boxer dog is called a Boxer, will look it up on google). The teacher said that her 'thinking' is at a very advanced level, think she meant the way she thinks?

But, there has always been something 'different' about her too. So -

She hates noise, will scream if you call her name when she's upstairs as it 'frightens her'
Jumps at the slightest thing
Is very black and white
Does not like anyone else to have opinions
Can't understand people's 'motives' to a certain extent, or that people make mistakes, so she's always 'but they can't do that its against the rules' or 'but the teacher told us not to'
Comes across as loud and confident and v bossy but is actually quite sensitive (although v bossy)
Takes on far too much responsibility - always worries about adult things, so she'll worry if I've signed various forms or not, rather than leaving that to me to worry about
She finds jokes hilarious but Im not always sure she knows why shes laughing!
Never shuts up and I mean never... typical conversation the other day:

Big box from a new vase in the living room. Her 'When will the new vase come Mummy?' Me 'erm it has done you know that you're looking at the box' Her' Yes i know its come Mummy but I wanted to talk about it and asking that was a good way to start the conversation.'

OP posts:

Original poster

Puffinsaresmall · 26/04/2012 20:31

Oh and as to whether I'd like her diagnosed or not, I'm not sure really. I just spoke to parents on the phone and they were all 'oh don't take her to the dr because then you're labeling her and what if the dr wants to give her drugs and you dont? Then they might call social services and force you to give them to her'

I was tempted to put Morrisey on, so depressing was the conversation.

OP posts:

MNHQ

OliviaLMumsnet · 26/04/2012 20:34

Hello there puffins, I have moved this to SN for you
Best
MN Towers

Original poster

Puffinsaresmall · 26/04/2012 20:36

Thank you MNHQ

And, apologies, going on about how 'bright' she is sorry I sound like a tosser Just trying to say what they (the teachers) said.

OP posts:

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 26/04/2012 20:40

They won't want to medicate her! It's not an illness. My DS isn't as high functioning as Aspergers, but he's still never needed any medication! He was DXed at 3 and is now 12 and I've never even seen a social worker? Your poor parents are as stunned as you. Remember, it may be nothing and it hasn't changed her.

There's a questionnaire here that you may find useful which lists lots of traits.

Also any DX is completely confidential, you wouldn't have to disclose it to anyone, but it does open doors to support. As I said, read up on it, you may be reassured, but ifyour DD is on the autism spectrum, she'll benefit from early support.

EllenJaneisnotmyname · 26/04/2012 20:41

Crossed with you. It's lovely that she's bright. That will be be very handy for her whatever the outcome.

Original poster

Puffinsaresmall · 26/04/2012 20:45

Thank you Ellen

The teacher was very funny though with her 'children on the spectrum often are' comment, I have expected her to ask me if DD could paint like a Master or divide 134555555556754434 by 2.345 in her head

OP posts:

bialystockandbloom · 26/04/2012 20:45

Only got a very quick second to respond to this, will try and come back later, but just wanted to say it is not the norm that a child diagnosed with asd will be automatically given 'drugs' - or that social services would be called in! It sounds like your friends don't know too much about it, don't worry about what they're saying.

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