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Cup and the Teaset face 2012- and this year, Beatrice means business!

1000 replies

cupofteaplease · 06/01/2012 17:02

Hi. Chances are if you've opened this thread, you may have followed us from here I thought the new year needed a new thread (also the old one was nearly full!)

The basics: Beatrice has central arthrogryposis and extensive cortical dysplasia. She is 16 weeks old and weighs 8lb 1oz. She is on continuous oxygen at 0.2 litres. She is fed Infatrini with Duocal mixed in via NG tube. She is undergoing ponsetti treatment for her talipes, she also has splints for her hands and is now in a pavlik harness full time for her shallow hip sockets. She is coping very well with all of her treatments. Smile Her community children's nurse describes her as 'defying all the odds'.

The positives: If you have a 4 month old NT baby, the following will probably seem pretty poor progress, but for Beatrice who was stiff and non responsive at bith, she has made great gains. Smile Bea seems very alert in this last week and is becoming more vocal too! She happily shouts at me when something isn't going her way- a vast improvement as she couldn't even cry when born. She moves her arms in all directions now and manages to lift her legs, even with the cast and harness. When she is under her play gym with lights, she moves her arms and legs in appreciation. She also mouths when she is hungry. Her breathing pattern seems much more regular since being on oxygen. She not only recognises my voice and turns to find me, but she can also distinguish other people talking and will move her head in different directions to find who is talking. We assume her eyesight is very poor, although we know she can see shadows and bright lights when it is dark. She adores the cinema and has been twice now!

The downers: Her weight gain is painfully slow- on average 2oz per week. She has fallen off the growth charts completely. She is still sick a couple of times a day. She is having a barium meal and swallow study on Monday to see if there is anything going on. Her sats are irregular and heartrate is very high, so weaning her off oxygen (which she started when she had pneumonia before Christmas) hasn't started yet.

Support: Beatrice was finally awarded DLA at the highest rate today, and we have been told to apply for a blue badge as parking in tight spaces with her oxygen is somewhat problematic Hmm. Next week, our lovely physiotherapist who has been administering the weekly plaster casts is going to start coming to our house to do some massage and play and encourage her arm movements even more. The referral to Helen House Hospice is still being processed. After Bea's casts have come off permanently (just 2 more to go!!) I plan on taking her swimming at the hydrotherapy pool in the special school where my SIL works as a SLT.

At the end of January we have a review with our 'lovely' paediatric consultant, Dr Scrooge. We havent managed to shake her off yet!

Thanks for following us here- I'll add some more pictures in a minute. Smile

OP posts:
Solo · 06/02/2012 23:43

You should write a book about your time with Bea cup, when the time is right...I too am sobbing here. God love you all.

LittlePebble · 07/02/2012 01:47

Cup as everyone has said, your post is wonderful. The journey you have been on is huge and thank you for sharing it and Bea with us. I feel I have learnt a little bit about what really matters in life reading your posts and will continue to share your journey if I may.
Here's hoping you get to see your beautiful Bea smile xxx

slightlycrumpled · 07/02/2012 08:03

I also keep deleting posts. You are all amazing, I keep thinking of Bea and your family. X

saffronwblue · 07/02/2012 08:55

cup tears here too. It is very hard to describe what it has felt like as a total stranger to be so privileged to hear your thoughts along the way. Bea and you together have given something to the world, through your honesty, your writing and the huge shining love you have for your children. Sending lots of loving thoughts to you all.
xx

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 07/02/2012 09:10

Cup - you write so beautifully.

I missed last week's updates and am beyond pleased that Bea has pulled through again. I'm glad that you are more comfortable, if that's the right word, with what may happen in the future;fear is a terrible thing and it can mean you don't appreciate and make the most of what you have right now. I truly hope though that Bea continues to surprise and amaze us all for a good while yet.

Much love and strength to you and your family. x

hazeyjane · 07/02/2012 09:47

Cup, your post floored me. I can't imagine the strength it takes to get to the place you are now. All your dds are very lucky to have a mum like you. Take care of yourself.

moajab · 07/02/2012 10:08

Cup, whether Bea lives for another day, week, month, year or longer I know you will do everything to make it as rich a life as possible. And if the time does come when you have to say goodbye I hope you can take comfort and pride in that. Everyone has been so amazed by how much you and she have achieved since her birth. I have felt privileged to be able to 'get to know' Bea through your posts and photos. Long may our virtual aquaintance last! You are rightly very proud of Bea and I'm sure she is very proud of her amazing Mummy. Good to hear as well that you are all back home together - the whole wonderful Teaset!

whattodoo · 07/02/2012 10:28

Can't think of words sufficient to express my admiration for you, Bea and your lovely family.
Wishing you all lots of special moments x

eightytwenty · 07/02/2012 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fhdl34 · 07/02/2012 15:16

What beautiful photos, I'm glad the hospice stay was a mostle positive experience, your family are coping extremely with all that you're all going through. You're all in my thoughts daily x

BB3 · 07/02/2012 20:43

Just popping in to see how you and bea are doing today x

MamaMaiasaura · 07/02/2012 21:28

I just read your update Cup and my eyes are brimming with tears. What a truly inspirational and loving mummy you are and Beatrice is so completely beautiful x

cupofteaplease · 07/02/2012 22:34

Thank you for the lovely comments, but really, I'm nothing special. Any one of you would be exactly the same in my shoes- when you don't have a choice it seems best to plaster on a smile, dig deep for some positivity and hope and get on with it.

But I'm not too proud to admit that I've struggled a bit with my positive thinking since going to the hospice. I can't explain now as I'm on my mobile and the battery is low, but I will try and come back tomorrow and put down my thoughts.

I'm delighted that people are interested about Beatrice and care about her progress. It's a bonus, considering I only really started these threads to document our journey and my thoughts, and ask for help from experienced mums along the way. Thanks for keeping me company Smile

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 07/02/2012 22:39

You're welcome, Cup. Glad you have benefited from it - I'm sure many of us have. And you ARE special, honestly - Bea chose you because you are. I hope you have much more time with her. xx

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 07/02/2012 22:52

Cup - whatever you do, don't feel pressured into posting 'positively', we're all here for you no matter how you are feeling. It's only natural for the hospice stay to have had a huge impact on you. Sadly it's brought you up sharp that Bea is 'life limited' (as we all are really, it's not a very nice term is it :() and no matter how strong you are, the acceptance of that is always going to be extremely difficult & upsetting - it's hard to let go of the hope that they are wrong & that your child will be OK. Big hugs xxx

BB3 · 08/02/2012 13:06

Cup, I whole heartedly agree with Chipping. Part of the thing that has drawn so many of us to your story is your heartfelt honesty, in good times and bad - something that not many people would be able to do.

I have no idea what you are going through but I can imagine that the hospice (particularly coming after such a traumatic week), would be something that had an impact on your feelings about bea's future. Have you heard any more about when you will see the neurologist?

How is Bea doing today? and you?

Carrotcakeisace · 08/02/2012 13:50

Cup, you are a very special person and I feel privileged to be sharing this journey with you, I only hope that you can gain some strength and reassurance from the knowledge that we are here for you and the teaset.

You dont need to always be positive for us, the point of following your story is that I (and I'm sure everyone else) want to be able to support you through the up and downs and whilst I am too far to be any practical support, I am more than happy to be a willing ear to listen and a virtual hand to hold. I understand that you can say things to strangers that are impossible to express to those closest to youand the need for you to have this outlet. Big hugs to you and a gentle kiss for Bea x

KateUnrulyBush · 08/02/2012 13:52

Yes, well said ChippingIn. I hope we do help, but I can also see how we might be a bit overwhelming at times. I'd just like to second that there is no expectation on you to post positively, negatively or even post at all, Cup.

This is your thread, and yours alone. You must use it, or not, as you need to.

x Kate

JugglingWithSnowballs · 08/02/2012 13:55

Absolutely Kate, well said Smile

youarekidding · 08/02/2012 16:29

I agree with others. This is the place not to plaster on a smile. We'll all be there to support you, Bea and the whole teaset through whatever is happeneing and however you feel.

And if it's crappy and negative then feel free to say, then we can offer virtual hugs and hand holding.

This is your thread, use it as you need. x

cupofteaplease · 08/02/2012 18:11

Hello again. Oh dear, I fear I didn't explain myself very well in my last post- the smile and forced positivity are needed in 'real life'- on here I feel safe to post any old twaddle that comes into my mind! Grin Thanks for allowing me to feel safe to do that.

Anyway- to answer a question, we are seeing the neurologist on 1st March with Dr Death and our CNN. I have been warned he is very straight talking and won't dress up the truth for us. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing!!

Today was a better day all round. I went to Costa to meet some friends and their babies for some Bea and Tea time, and they couldn't get over how alert she was today. She stayed awake the whole time and was looking all around and mouthing to me. She even had a little taste of my hot chocolate, but don't tell anyone medically inclined...

Later, the CNN came round with some forms to sign as she has applied to one place for 2 hours respite a week, and another place for some additional funding for up to 6 hours a week respite, but that has to go to a panel to decide. The first place are sending out a couple of people in 2 weeks to meet Bea and I and see what they can offer. Anyway, on the forms, there were some choices to describe Bea's medical condition- stable, unstable,rapidly deteriorating and end of life care. She had ticked 'Unstable' which really pleased me, as at the hospice I felt they were declaring her as rapidly deteriorating at best, end of life at worst. Which in my heart I really don't agree with. She is still my Bea, and doing so well. Now, if you'd asked me last Tuesday, I would have (and did) say she was at the end of her life, but she's picked up no end since then.

Later on, the hospice rang, and they have offered us a 4 day stay in 4 weeks- i just need to tell dh so he can book some holiday and I need to speak to the girls' headmistress to get permission to take them out of school.

I also ordered the invitations for Beatrice's Christening in 4 weeks time. I've been putting it off as I don't want to tempt fate (much like how I put off buying Christmas presents for her...), but if I don't send them soon, we won't have any guests- I'll have to come on MN in the morning and see who's up for being Godmother!! The vicar has been great and has said she can have a full service, despite already being baptised in hospital.

Sigh, every day is a rollercoaster. Today was an up day, let's hope I don't fall off tomorrow!

OP posts:
mycatsaysach · 08/02/2012 18:29

Smile at the hot chocolate

JugglingWithSnowballs · 08/02/2012 18:35

Thank goodness for a lovely vicar !

I'll be a godmother !! I'm a Quaker though.

I wonder how many different sorts of godmother she could have on here ?! Grin

Glad she liked the hot chocolate Smile

weblette · 08/02/2012 18:41

Can I be an oddmother? Grin

weblette · 08/02/2012 18:42

Btw your CNN sounds a star

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