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Cup and the Teaset face 2012- and this year, Beatrice means business!

1000 replies

cupofteaplease · 06/01/2012 17:02

Hi. Chances are if you've opened this thread, you may have followed us from here I thought the new year needed a new thread (also the old one was nearly full!)

The basics: Beatrice has central arthrogryposis and extensive cortical dysplasia. She is 16 weeks old and weighs 8lb 1oz. She is on continuous oxygen at 0.2 litres. She is fed Infatrini with Duocal mixed in via NG tube. She is undergoing ponsetti treatment for her talipes, she also has splints for her hands and is now in a pavlik harness full time for her shallow hip sockets. She is coping very well with all of her treatments. Smile Her community children's nurse describes her as 'defying all the odds'.

The positives: If you have a 4 month old NT baby, the following will probably seem pretty poor progress, but for Beatrice who was stiff and non responsive at bith, she has made great gains. Smile Bea seems very alert in this last week and is becoming more vocal too! She happily shouts at me when something isn't going her way- a vast improvement as she couldn't even cry when born. She moves her arms in all directions now and manages to lift her legs, even with the cast and harness. When she is under her play gym with lights, she moves her arms and legs in appreciation. She also mouths when she is hungry. Her breathing pattern seems much more regular since being on oxygen. She not only recognises my voice and turns to find me, but she can also distinguish other people talking and will move her head in different directions to find who is talking. We assume her eyesight is very poor, although we know she can see shadows and bright lights when it is dark. She adores the cinema and has been twice now!

The downers: Her weight gain is painfully slow- on average 2oz per week. She has fallen off the growth charts completely. She is still sick a couple of times a day. She is having a barium meal and swallow study on Monday to see if there is anything going on. Her sats are irregular and heartrate is very high, so weaning her off oxygen (which she started when she had pneumonia before Christmas) hasn't started yet.

Support: Beatrice was finally awarded DLA at the highest rate today, and we have been told to apply for a blue badge as parking in tight spaces with her oxygen is somewhat problematic Hmm. Next week, our lovely physiotherapist who has been administering the weekly plaster casts is going to start coming to our house to do some massage and play and encourage her arm movements even more. The referral to Helen House Hospice is still being processed. After Bea's casts have come off permanently (just 2 more to go!!) I plan on taking her swimming at the hydrotherapy pool in the special school where my SIL works as a SLT.

At the end of January we have a review with our 'lovely' paediatric consultant, Dr Scrooge. We havent managed to shake her off yet!

Thanks for following us here- I'll add some more pictures in a minute. Smile

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 06/02/2012 16:59

Oh cup. Your update is very moving. But as you say 'they' just don't know how long the future will be for Bea - but that is what makes every moment that you have with her extra special. At least you now have the support of the hospice who will be there for you for as long as your family needs them, whatever happens.
I know how you feel about going from wanting her resusitated under any circumstances to just wanting her to go peacefully. We, also until last year had always maintained we wanted DD resusitated but after her last illness where she fought against all the odds, we realised that there would be circumstances where we would say " enough is enough" but we beleive that DD will decide when she has had enough & I guess Bea too will know when she is tired of fighting - but let's hope that time is a long way off yet!

And don't worry about DD1's behaviour, she has had an incredible amount to cope with over the last few months and has 'lost' her mummy for large chunks at a time. It is only natural that she will mis behave in order to get attention. The hospice will have seen it all before!

Thanks for taking the time to share. Take care of yourself and your special family. You are constantly in my thoughts.

shazian · 06/02/2012 17:17

Cup what a strong inspirational woman you are. Bea and her sisters are very lucky to have such a wonderful mummy and daddy. So glad you all had good weekend. Praying that you all have lots more time to make wonderful memories xxx

JenniferLaunders · 06/02/2012 17:38

Cup, it must be quite a challenge to reconcile the official prognosis with your maternal instinct to do everything in your power to help Bea survive. There's quite a tension there and I hope you find some peace in whatever you decisions you have to make for Bea. All of us would hope to pass gently and with dignity and I think it's lovely you want this for Bea.

It's so wonderful how Bea's little life has enriched your own in such a deep and powerful way - what a legacy from Bea that she has changed who you are in such a life-enhancing manner.

Bea's beautiful eyes look like they reflect all the smiles and happiness which is on the inside of her. She looks like she might have a mischievious sense of humour!

Thank you so much for sharing Bea with us.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 06/02/2012 17:56

Cup your post is so moving. You sound much more at peace with the situation. I don't know what to say but, all my love. Xx

annalovesmrbates · 06/02/2012 17:57

Oh Cup, your posts are so moving! Bea is so lucky to have such an amazing mum. Your family must all be so proud of you. Big hug to Bea!

annalovesmrbates · 06/02/2012 17:57

Oh Cup, your posts are so moving! Bea is so lucky to have such an amazing mum. Your family must all be so proud of you. Big hug to Bea!

AlwaysYawning · 06/02/2012 17:59

Oh my.

Cup you are amazing.

youarekidding · 06/02/2012 18:12

We need a kleenex emotion for cup to use at the start of such emotional and overwhelming posts as a warning. Grin

Cup You post truely was inspiring to read. I really can't think of the words to say to tell you how amazing I think you are. But Bea is very lucky to have chosen you as her mum.

Beautiful pictures of Bea - she really is yummy!

Why was DD1 misbehaving? Is it a stage she's going through or was it a reaction to the inormity of the situation? And hows DD2 ears?

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 06/02/2012 18:17

What a moving post cup I'm also now reduced to tears (not an easy task)
You are such a strong woman! And your little bea is such a beautiful girl xx

ohmeohmy · 06/02/2012 18:19

You beautiful Bea has touched us all through your posts. She definitely chose her family well.

5inthebed · 06/02/2012 18:43

What a very heartfelt post Cup. Not sure what to say, but you are truely an inspiration, all of your family are.

Take care x

neverputasockinatoaster · 06/02/2012 18:44

Cup, you are an inspiration.

Enjoy every moment you have with your beautiful girl. May there be many moments and may they all be filled with love.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

TinyTrumpton · 06/02/2012 18:50

All heartfelt wishes going out to you. Your beautiful Bea touches our very souls and our love and strength flows to you and the Tea Set.

RatherBeOnThePiste · 06/02/2012 18:56

Such a moving post from you Cup - the amazing mum to the amazing Bea. Thank you. Much love and gentle hugs
Pistey x

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 06/02/2012 19:02

Cup more big fat tears. You are my definition of courage, determination and inspiration

I am so pleased that Bea has been able to give you the time to work your way through this and be at peace with it (as best you ever can be).

I agree - 'may there be many moments and may they all be filled with love'.

You really are incredible.

Lots of love
xxx

Tmesis · 06/02/2012 19:48

That's a beautiful post, cup. I hope you have many more moments with Beatrice while retaining the sense of peace you have now.

Four4me · 06/02/2012 20:08

Oh dear, more tears here. Simply going to say...your girls are so lucky to have you as their Mummy. Take care xx

Haberdashery · 06/02/2012 20:46

I'm very moved by what you wrote, cup. I think you're an inspiration - your story and Bea's story have taught me a lot, I think. I'm sure it's nothing to the things you have learnt from her.

OrangeChicken · 06/02/2012 20:50

What a beautiful, moving and deeply, deeply emotional update Cup. I too am in tears. But then I look at the photos of Bea and they just make me smile -it's impossible not to smile when looking at that gorgeous chubby face and those beautiful, alert eyes of hers. She looks like such a personality!!

I'm searching for the right words but really all I can say is keep on enjoying that little girl whatever length of time you have (and noone really knows how long that is) - and know always that quality is always more important than quantity, and the quality of a human life lived is measured in love - and Bea's life is crammed with love, that much is clear.

Thank you for continuing to share your family's story with us. Praying for many more good days ahead for you all as a family and for all three of your lovely girls.

hackneyzoo · 06/02/2012 21:18

You write so beautifully and eloquently about your amazing little girl, sending you all lots of love, peace and strength x

MessNessPess · 06/02/2012 21:29

Cup your words are very emotive. Thoughts for you all. Do you think DD1 was reacting to Bea and DD2 being unwell nd you and Bea being away for so long? The Hospice must also bring it to life for them that Bea is always going to be in their hearts but not always in their home?

Whatevertheweather · 06/02/2012 21:39

Cup what a beautiful post. All of your girls are so lucky to have you.

Every minute of Bea's life has been filled with your and your families love. I just hope and pray the minutes continue to turn into months and years xx

Thumbwitch · 06/02/2012 21:41

Oh Cup. (((hugs))). You beautiful woman. xxx

theDudesmummy · 06/02/2012 22:20

I usually only lurk, and wish you all well in a silent way, but your last post brought me to tears and reminded me of what is really important in life. I don't pray but I am sending you some thoughts...

BB3 · 06/02/2012 22:48

I agree with the kleenex emoticon! Especially needed when catching up on Bea on the train home!

Cup, I can't seem to put in to words what I want to say but your post was just so moving. It's testament to how special you and your daughter are that you have allowed us all into your lives. Beatrice has bought together an army of strangers, who have all fallen in love with this beautiful girl and her family. I don't think there is a single person on this thread who's life beatrice hasn't touched, who isn't amazed by her strength and determination to survive.

And from a personal note I want to say how much I admire you as a person and a mother. From getting to know you on the antenatal thread to Bea's birth, her heartbreaking first few days and the life you have provided her. I hope that I can give my children even an ounce of the love and selflessness you have shown bea.

It's hard to know what to say but I hope bea continues to have many more good days and you are able to create many more happy memories as a family xxx

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