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Cup and the Teaset face 2012- and this year, Beatrice means business!

1000 replies

cupofteaplease · 06/01/2012 17:02

Hi. Chances are if you've opened this thread, you may have followed us from here I thought the new year needed a new thread (also the old one was nearly full!)

The basics: Beatrice has central arthrogryposis and extensive cortical dysplasia. She is 16 weeks old and weighs 8lb 1oz. She is on continuous oxygen at 0.2 litres. She is fed Infatrini with Duocal mixed in via NG tube. She is undergoing ponsetti treatment for her talipes, she also has splints for her hands and is now in a pavlik harness full time for her shallow hip sockets. She is coping very well with all of her treatments. Smile Her community children's nurse describes her as 'defying all the odds'.

The positives: If you have a 4 month old NT baby, the following will probably seem pretty poor progress, but for Beatrice who was stiff and non responsive at bith, she has made great gains. Smile Bea seems very alert in this last week and is becoming more vocal too! She happily shouts at me when something isn't going her way- a vast improvement as she couldn't even cry when born. She moves her arms in all directions now and manages to lift her legs, even with the cast and harness. When she is under her play gym with lights, she moves her arms and legs in appreciation. She also mouths when she is hungry. Her breathing pattern seems much more regular since being on oxygen. She not only recognises my voice and turns to find me, but she can also distinguish other people talking and will move her head in different directions to find who is talking. We assume her eyesight is very poor, although we know she can see shadows and bright lights when it is dark. She adores the cinema and has been twice now!

The downers: Her weight gain is painfully slow- on average 2oz per week. She has fallen off the growth charts completely. She is still sick a couple of times a day. She is having a barium meal and swallow study on Monday to see if there is anything going on. Her sats are irregular and heartrate is very high, so weaning her off oxygen (which she started when she had pneumonia before Christmas) hasn't started yet.

Support: Beatrice was finally awarded DLA at the highest rate today, and we have been told to apply for a blue badge as parking in tight spaces with her oxygen is somewhat problematic Hmm. Next week, our lovely physiotherapist who has been administering the weekly plaster casts is going to start coming to our house to do some massage and play and encourage her arm movements even more. The referral to Helen House Hospice is still being processed. After Bea's casts have come off permanently (just 2 more to go!!) I plan on taking her swimming at the hydrotherapy pool in the special school where my SIL works as a SLT.

At the end of January we have a review with our 'lovely' paediatric consultant, Dr Scrooge. We havent managed to shake her off yet!

Thanks for following us here- I'll add some more pictures in a minute. Smile

OP posts:
JenniferLaunders · 06/02/2012 08:08

BB3 the Aunties would have to form an orderly queue and ration their time with Bea Grin Utterly adorable little girl and quite a heart-warmer.

Northernlurker · 06/02/2012 08:13

Just checking in - so pleased to see the new pictures.

BB3 · 06/02/2012 08:21

Jennifer would be a blooming long queue! You see these stories about people queueing through the night for the latest apple product / computer game / Harry potter, bea would set her own records!!! Grin

FriggFRIGG · 06/02/2012 08:36

Awhhhh! What a sweetheart!
So lovely to see some more pictures of the lovely little BeaSmile

Trumpton · 06/02/2012 08:58

Thank you for sharing your special pictures with us. You all look wonderful. Love to you all from a knitting Auntie .

starfishmummy · 06/02/2012 09:14

the latest pictures are lovely
xxxx

ArborFields · 06/02/2012 10:17

Thank you for sharing your photos and story with us. You are a very inspirational mummy!

Carrotcakeisace · 06/02/2012 10:17

Fab pics, Bea looking as gorgeous as ever, thank you for sharing them with Bea's extended 'family' xx

bishboschone · 06/02/2012 10:24

Fabulous pics , you look so happy and bea. Looks lovely as ever . So much respect for your strength cup . Bea is lucky the stork brought her your way .

annalovesmrbates · 06/02/2012 10:31

Gorgeous new pictures!

CaroleService · 06/02/2012 11:08
Scheherezade · 06/02/2012 14:50

She's just perfectly gorgeous cupoftea. Am so happy for you xxx

Imnotaslimjim · 06/02/2012 15:58

Oh my, I've just looked through all your photos and you really can see her progress from when she first arrived!! And she looks like such a little poppet. You have a lovely family Tea, and you look so proud with her in the last photo xxx

cupofteaplease · 06/02/2012 16:25

Well we had a good weekend, the hospice was lovely and we were well-looked after and very well fed! It took a while to relax as I got to know the staff and they got to know Bea. But of course, 2 days isn't long to get to know her, so I didn't fully relax. For example, I slept in the bedroom with her for 2 nights out of 3, insead of in the family flat. They tried hard to make us feel welcome, but dd1 was badly behaved and I felt on edge a lot of the time. I'm positive that next time we go back I will be able to let go more.

We are home again now and the CNN came out this afternoon. Bea keeps having grey spells, so she has arranged for my mum to collect a SATs monitor for us to use at home for Bea, especially at night.

I'm so confused. At the hospice, their doctors were very much talking about Beatrice being in the end stage of her life, and we just don't know how long this stage will last. The consultant at hospital, on the other hand thought this might be an acute episode. Nobody knows, and that makes it hard. But last Tuesday has brought everything into sharp focus. Beatrice hasn't got a long fututre, and her passing will come in the form of resitory failure. People have been telling me this since her birth, but I understand now, and as hard as it is, I accept it. When she is alert, I can't believe it, but when she goes grey and her breathing shallows, I can see the future all too clearly. Sad

So much has changed. When she was born, I wanted her to have all pssible resuscitation and I was terrified of being on my own with her when she dies. Now I feel completely differently. I want her to pass in painfree dignity, and I would love it to be with me holding her. No prefessionals checking up on us. I wonder when it will be? I wonder how many more memories we have time to make? I wonder if I will see her smile?

I know one thing, I'm not scared any more. I'm proud of my baby girl and feel so priviledged that she chose me as her mum. Her life has taught me so much and has allowed me to meet some fantastic, inspirational people. I will never be the same again. She has changed me in a way being a mother to my other dds didn't. She is my definition of courage, determination and inspiration. My life is enriched because she has been part of it. I feel quite overwhelmed by it all, and I think being at the hospice has exagerated my emotions and highlighted the fragility of Bea's existence.

OP posts:
NaughtyMrChicken · 06/02/2012 16:31

I keep typing things and then deleting them. I don't know how to express how in awe of your strength I am, without sounding like a cheesy American drama.

Cup you are my definition of courage, determination and inspiration. Bea is a truly beautiful baby.

FuzzzyDuck · 06/02/2012 16:32

Oh cup, what a heartfelt post. Sending hugs to you all. What a wonder little bea is xx

CestTout · 06/02/2012 16:33

Cup, glad you had a good weekend at the hospice hoping you can get lots of benefit from it in your future visits.

Your update has brought tears to my eyes, the way you are coping and the last paragraph is lovely. Bea certainly had good taste when she choose you.

Thoughts and well wishes always, here's to making more memories. xx

ExitPursuedByaBear · 06/02/2012 16:33

Oh Cup. Reading about you and Bea has enriched my life immeasurably and I thank you for sharing Bea with us all with such honesty.

eaglewings · 06/02/2012 16:36

Thank you for your update, I feel similar to NaughtyMrChicken, not sure what to write. I am continually amazed at your strength and insight.
I pray that every minute you spend with Bea is peaceful and special and that your RL support is there always but never intrusive.

Rowgtfc72 · 06/02/2012 16:45

Cup,I cant think of anything to say apart from youre a wonderful mummy and you have the most beautiful daughter(the others are lovely too!)Sending goodwishes and happy thoughts x

KateUnrulyBush · 06/02/2012 16:48

Cup you describe everything you experience so vividly I sometimes forget we aren't living this right there with you. I think about Bea and your family all the time, which is something I've never done before.

It is so moving to hear you talking like this. I'm glad you aren't living in fear of the future now. I'm glad you feel at peace.

I wish you and Bea, her daddy and her sisters, all the hope, joy and love in the world.

You are a truly incredible person. Thanks

mycatsaysach · 06/02/2012 16:51

wow what a post xx lovely tribute to a special girl x

CotherMuckingFunt · 06/02/2012 16:51

Every update you posts amazes me. Your strength is astonishing and your love for Bea jumps off the screen.

Your latest post has had me in tears and I am so full of admiration for you and so happy that Bea has such a wonderful mum and you have such an inspirational daughter.

So much love and prayers.xxx

4madboys · 06/02/2012 16:55

so glad you have an ok wkend and that is a lovely post, made me cry [blush[ you are wonderful and i hope you have many many more enjoyable days with bea, she obviously isnt ready to give up yet xxx

JugglingWithSnowballs · 06/02/2012 16:57

Thank you for continuing to share your lives with us cup

We're all learning so much from Bea and her wonderful family Smile

Mainly that a life lived with love is a good life to live.

And that maybe there isn't really anything else that matters compared to that x

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