You might be an autism parent if...

[ihatecbeebies]

I came across this on Twitter today and thought some of them were really nice and some were just really funny and I wanted to share them with you all;

You might be an autism parent if...

You wouldn't change your child for the world- but want often to change the World for your child!

One moment, you feel completely alone & the next, you're a part of a large, passionate & supportive community.

you are completely oblivious to the sounds your child is repeating but everyone else around you is going nuts.

you can tell the difference between a meltdown and a typical kid who is spoiled rotten.

you always talk like you are in a social story....."And that's ok"

You have more compassion, patience, love, tolerance, hope, resilience & stamina than u ever thought possible.

you feel extravagant on a day you put your hair up in something other than a messy bun and put on mascara.

you've read enough books on autism that you could practically be a doctor yourself.

the answer to "What would you like for dinner" is "Something round"

Mine is;

You might be an autism parent if you find yourself saying 'only say it once' in your sleep.

when you find yourself repeating: "first we are going to x and then y and then home, do you have any questions?"

You find it nice to get a letter that isnt addressed to parent/carer of .....

You find yourself eating the same meals every week, but dont care anymore

You might be an autism parent if...

you sound like a loopy conspiracy theorist when talking about local authorities, hospitals etc they are all out to get me!!

you whoop with joy at a haircut or a mouthful of something different to taste or a wearing a new t-shirt!

that is at your child having a haircut or trying a mouthful of something different to taste or a wearing a new t-shirt!

Haha I thought I was the only one that got funny looks from the hair dresser when I would celebrate DS allowing his hair to be trimmed!

You might be an autism parent if... the school have your number on speed dial because of the amount of meetings and disciplinaries you've been called to.

You think you're getting some kind of tinnitus until you realise its the constant clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick of the light switch being switched onoffonoffonoff that's ringing in your ears!!!

When you can tell the difference between a happy stim and a stressed stim even though to professionals they are identical.

When you spot a new lamp post and will drive out of your way to pass it when ds is in the car.

When you suddenly realise that you have forgotten your self and the reason for the puzzled looks is that you have been speaking in keywords preceded by "listening" to the HT.

Everyone in school knows who you are - even the other kids.

when you class 4 hours sleep the best nights sleep youve had in years.

you begin to speak to everyone with minimal words and dont even notice them looking at you weird.

you get to be in the school more than you do the pub.

you have a mini panic attack when you see the words mew and improved on the packageing of your childs 3 only foods.

Well, I am an autism aprent but I would change ds1 if I could take his autism away as it makes him unhappy and borderline suicidal. And I can't tell if ds4 is having meltdowns or tantrums either (he is 3.8 and being watched by Paeds / SLT).

But in the spirit of this thread

When dealing with most professionals youe default setting is 'fight!!!!' and you ceased to expect anything else eyars ago.

And all emals are served with conponents not touching. When the PAed asks about how your other children react to routine changes or new food you don;t have a clue as those ended way back when.

'you've read enough books on autism that you could practically be a doctor yourself.' It's almost a Master's Degree but yes youa re right, semed a waste not to get a few certificates from it all LMAO

Ineed are you me?

They are exactly mine too!

You do a half hour count down to let your child know its time for a shower and still end up with her lying on the floor shouting at you..

You jump for joy when you find a skirt/pair of trousers with no buttons on.

You say to your partner "Don't be ridiculous of course she doesn't want something different on her sandwhich".

I could go on and on and on and on......

I worship at the altar of H&M anyone who makes jeans and trousers without buttons and zips in age 16 or small men sizes has to be a God in my eyes.

You go out in torrential rain to move the car 12 inches because you know that there will be no peace until it's "in the right place"

The HT looks like a startled rabbit caught in the headlights when she bumps into you in the corridor at school. HT loses all professionalism and composure and utters "MrsTimeTraveller, I don't have a meeting with you today do I?" And says "Oh good!" When you tell her, no you are their to meet someone else!

When you don't bat an eyelid when your child's current way to express joy is to shout out 'new airwick!!!!'

mary my DS shouts out chicken korma when he gets excited, he doesn't even like korma either

He went to the softplay last week and was so excited that he shouted it over and over the whole time he was there. Two boys said "stop saying that, it doesnt mean anything" to which he replied matter of factly; "yes it is, it is food!"

Oh I needed this today.

Nothing to add, just sat here laughing outloud. This has cheered me up so much!

Time traveller... that made me laugh and it reminded me of our GP who looks as if he is going to hide under his desk when I walk in to the room.

when you don't bat an eyelid at your tall, bouncy child excitedly shouting in the supermarket aisles "OOH HARPIC POWER PLUS MUMMY/ OOH FRESH DISCS FROM DUCK MUMMY/ OOH FINISH THE DIAMOND STANDARD MUMMY"

when you talk to other children in short sharp sentences and don't notice them looking at you and wondering why you are talking to them like a dog. "shoes" "coat" "out"

when you feel a sharp cut of fear in your stomach at the sounds of a handrier or a moonpig advert

When you're asked how your child copes with idioms and you actually can't answer as you learnt years ago to to say exactly what you mean.

When it's normal to find your child asleep in bed with various objects he's become attached to during the day ie kitchen whisk, ladle, spoon, spanner, piece of string, hoover attachments et etc

When you are truimphant that your ds has had a playmate in the house and broke the standing time record of 10 mins before saying "you can go home now"

When you go to the supermarket and automatically buy 2 tubes of toothpaste, one for the bathroom and one for DS to go over the tile grouting with.

When you spend 1.5 hours with your GP explaining autism, behaviour and agencies and your GP phones you and asks "what do you think"..........

When you wish the tortoise in someones garden will finally kick the bucket because for the last 6 yrs you have had to count the hexagons on his back before you can actually walk past.

You realise that this year's Xmas pressies are the same as last years.. and the year before that because that's exactly how he likes it!

Medusa ds is exactly the same he has the same annuals, the same pens, the new editions of the dvd's he's had years previous. Anything different or a surprise is handed straight back with a shake of the head .