You might be an autism parent if...

[ihatecbeebies]

I came across this on Twitter today and thought some of them were really nice and some were just really funny and I wanted to share them with you all;

You might be an autism parent if...

You wouldn't change your child for the world- but want often to change the World for your child!

One moment, you feel completely alone & the next, you're a part of a large, passionate & supportive community.

you are completely oblivious to the sounds your child is repeating but everyone else around you is going nuts.

you can tell the difference between a meltdown and a typical kid who is spoiled rotten.

you always talk like you are in a social story....."And that's ok"

You have more compassion, patience, love, tolerance, hope, resilience & stamina than u ever thought possible.

you feel extravagant on a day you put your hair up in something other than a messy bun and put on mascara.

you've read enough books on autism that you could practically be a doctor yourself.

the answer to "What would you like for dinner" is "Something round"

Lisa
You find it nice to get a letter that isnt addressed to parent/carer of ....

So agree! :)

When you get excited because someone on MN mentions that a high street store stocks large size trousers without zips or buttons. Insanity thanks for that. Do they do cords or even (holds her breath) school trousers?

When you answer, 'that's nice dear' to the news that DS2 has drowned his Sims baby by building a swimming pool with a wall around it, again.

I love this thread made me giggle!
You might be an autism parent when... They scream loudly round the supermarket you happen to work in 'every little helps' an when ever someone says how cute.. He proceeds to growl in their face like a rabid animal :)

You repeat a million times to everyone whos around don't worry it's absolutely terrifically fine!!!

You have to buy a whole box of pencils for school as your son ate them!

you forget ds is at school and lock the social worker in the house!

you are replacing the bannister for a curved metal version not as a style statement but because ds has eaten his was through the current wooden one and walks along it (over the drop) if unsupervised for a second!

you are far from houseproud but seem to have an answer to most good housekeeping questions on stain removal.

you can only work in "now and next" - looking too far forward is too frightening.

an unexpected kiss, cuddle brings pure joy

NoHaudin don't know about school trousers because ds doesn't wear a uniform but pretty sure there are cords with a jogger style waistband as there are jeans and combats the same.

Oh, if your children are both in double figures - but you have to replace the tv remote once a year because of the teeth marks.

You know you're an autism Aunty (in my case) when

...You have perfected the raised eyebrow and neutral glare at people who pull judgy pants faces at your DN - because you know your DSIL has had it up to ^^ here with them

...You find it completely acceptable to hand said DN a candle in someone's house to stop her from chewing the electrical cables

...You throw your one and only shit fit in two years at your DP when he suggests that your house rabbit should be found a rescue place because he chews electrical cables

...You spend your weekends joyfully sewing clothes in an ever-decreasing range of fabrics so that DN will actually have something to wear to school that doesn't need replacing within days

...You spend more time child-proofing your house for one 2 hour visit from DN than for a week's visit by her DBro, who is 4

...You host 4yo DNephew for part of each school holiday so that he gets some 1:1 attention and DSIL gets some peace and quiet

You have the catching/reaction/blocking skills of a world class goalkeeper- DS is a fab thrower and not fussy about what he launches into the air.
You have eagle eyes and can spot a piece of blutack 10 feet away,half way up a wall and the size of a pea,and can sprint to it before DC can pick it off and eat it.

You can only shower when deal or no deal is on because you can be sure he will stay put.
When you ask for a kiss you get offered the top of his head,cos lips are reserved for kissing the dog.
When your child is out of sight and quiet you panic.
Gloves have to be worn all year even with shorts and t shirts.
The postman would probably die of shock if he saw your child wearing clothes.
Spoons have to be taken out of the bin after every yoghurt because no matter how many times you say put in sink they have to be binned with the empty pot.

These are so funny-wonderful!!!!!!

When you get a funny look from the M&S till assistant due to the fact you bought two pairs of socks on the friday and are back on the saturday and bought 20 pairs...........because FINALLY your DS has worn whole socks and not cut the toes of them

When you panic at silence

When you spot another chil hand flapping, toe walking or behaving in a certain way and you just look at dh and don't need to say a word.

When you realise that any toy your LO like, they have a better collection of them than any other child you know

When it's a happy day when you look in home school and there is nothing to report!!

When you notice that after 8 years on putting roast potatoes on dds plate, there is a bite missing, and then a whole potato is gone and you are sooo happy!!

You are scared to visit anyone's house cos your DS asks loudly as they open the door if the the host has any cockroaches. Nothing stops him asking several times if they are sure if their response if negative.

Your child floods the nursery not once but twice on the first day he is left there even though you WARNED his key worker he has a thing for water.

You spend weeks looking for a style of underpants your child will actually wear under his uniform and just as long explaining to his teacher that yes you do check he has pants and socks on when you leave the house to come to school.

Haircuts are planned and executed over weeks not minutes.

You are in tears the first time your child asks a friend if they are OK.

When any callers, including cold callers, are quizzed whether they like baked beans or Battenberg cake. He's not actually offering any, he just needs to know.

...When your 15 year old (NT) DD says'STOP talking to me like that. I'm NOT DS !!'

When you realise that you aren't the only autism parent who has just got excited at H&M doing big sized jeans without buttons!! grin]

finding plain, black, soft long sleeved shirts without a logo.
Buying unpickers on a regular basis for removal of sewn in labels.
Constantly saying, please don't eat things from the floor.
Please wear your coat, I know you're not cold, but there are people with judgy pants so high up that it looks like their arse is trying to eat their undies!

This weeks achievement: Got Ds2 in a jumper, it's not black, He likes it! Hurrah!

i'm not a confirmed ASD parent yet, but reading these with tears of laughter and sadness as most of them ring a bell sort of confirms it

you know you (might be) an ASD parent when the 1st thing you hear at 6am is DD squealing 'yes' as they find the empty toilet roll tube in the bathroom [arrgghhh]

and you have to do the penguin walk round the house as DD insists her feet aren't working on the kitchen floor

tooearlymustdache I'm not an ASD parent yet either but yup they all ring true and more.....

(Peachy I would get rid of the autism AND change the world if only I could! The sentimental stuff gets to me too!)
You know you're an autism parent when you know where to shop for teenage pull up trousers, long sleeved jersy shirts, velcro shoes, jersey sheets, and check everything else for ease of modification (adding elastic) etc before buying. You buy up the next few sizes once you find a coat with a ds approved lining. Ditto for socks, trousers pants. You rejoice at a friendship with a much younger child.

-You can spot something that might upset DS from 500 metres.
-You feel no embarrassment when out in public and DS wants to be carried like a bush baby so he can stroke you face.
-You dont blink when DS wants to go out in the pouring rain so he can go on his trampoline.

Thank you so much everyone for this thread - I've laughed into my tea. Laughing feels very rare atm. Thank you!
I'm still new to all this as DD is only 2.5 and recently diagnosed - but you've shown me what is to come!

As above: "you get 4 hours sleep and it's the best sleep you've had in years" - yes, that's me!
You talk in 'sentences' of only one word...

Coff33pot I love your tortoise situation: so sweet yet frustrating all at once...

Yes to the one word sentences, happy stims and stressed ones, long sleeves soft fabric tops, identical trousers (pull up), foods in separate little dishes (there are some Sainsbury's chocolate puddings which come in White china pots, I eat the pud and ds2 gets the tiny bowls for his ketchup or slices of salami...).

Thank you for mentioning jersey sheets, I will try those for ds2.

Ooh I need jersey sheets for dd too if anyone can point me in the right direction please.

Ds is ok because he'll only sleep in a sleeping bag.