You might be an autism parent if...

[ihatecbeebies]

I came across this on Twitter today and thought some of them were really nice and some were just really funny and I wanted to share them with you all;

You might be an autism parent if...

You wouldn't change your child for the world- but want often to change the World for your child!

One moment, you feel completely alone & the next, you're a part of a large, passionate & supportive community.

you are completely oblivious to the sounds your child is repeating but everyone else around you is going nuts.

you can tell the difference between a meltdown and a typical kid who is spoiled rotten.

you always talk like you are in a social story....."And that's ok"

You have more compassion, patience, love, tolerance, hope, resilience & stamina than u ever thought possible.

you feel extravagant on a day you put your hair up in something other than a messy bun and put on mascara.

you've read enough books on autism that you could practically be a doctor yourself.

the answer to "What would you like for dinner" is "Something round"

if your DD is wearing gloves but you have to stop every 20 steps of the walk home so she can take one off, hold your hand for a second then put it back on..because hands feel nicer

it's not all bad is it

I got jersey fitted sheets for cot bed from tesco a few years back if that helps.

I'm sure I've seen jersey bed-in-a-bag sets in Asda

direct.asda.com/ASDA-Brown-Complete-Jersey-Bed-Set---Various-Sizes/ASDABrownCompleteJerseyBedSetMaster,default,pd.html

direct.asda.com/ASDA-Jersey-Bedset---Pink/002061859,default,pd.html

direct.asda.com/ASDA-Jersey-Bedset---Blue/002061887,default,pd.html

direct.asda.com/ASDA-Fitted-Sheet---Blue/002061873,default,pd.html

direct.asda.com/ASDA-Fitted-Sheet---White/002061880,default,pd.html

I'm afraid I get jersey sheets in SuperU (France) as we visit most winters. But Aldi/Lidl sometimes have them as specials.

Your ds won't get out of bed before he has his socks on so they have to live in the bedside cabinet.
You have to have your 11 yo on your lap in the dentist chair to have any chance of getting his teeth looked at, even though he is nearly as big as you. And your SN dentist doesn't turn a hair. (actually last time she remarked how brave I was as I stuck my finger in ds's mouth to make him open up. I'd just done it automatically because I have a horse! )
You have to take a spare t-shirt to the hairdressers because your child will be upset all the way home if he has to wear a hairy one. Neither of you can wear a gown as it makes him too slippery to hold on to so you go home with a bra full of hair.
Your electricity bill is massive because your child gets up in the early hours and switches everything on. He also insists on having his bedroom light on all the time, even on bright summer days. You seem to spend all your time switching things off and find yourself doing it in other peoples' houses.

You are always at great pains to speak in a calm, measured tone (no desperation, oh no).

You've become a home hairdresser

You've bought your small dc an ipad

I HEART THIS THREAD

Your house smells of poo.

You're house smells of shampoo...or gflue...or anything else your dc has managed to smear during the 2 minutes you went to the loo

You know you're an autism Aunty when...

You spend £5 and 50 hours choosing a Christmas present for your 6yo niece, and £50 and 5 minutes on your 4yo nephew

We have had those jersey sets from asda before. Might even have one in back of airing cupboard if anyone wants it

When you have black lines all over the soles of your feet and havnt a clue where they have come from ,then you notice DS also has the same marks on his feet and you are even more puzzled .
3 days later all is clear when you catch DS with a black marker writing on the dogs paw....he had been watching toy story and trying to write ANDY .

Ineed that seriously had me laughing bless him!

you know when you're a....

you snigger at this thread while DD is eating and she's gives you 'that' look and tells you it's NOT FUNNY

ineeda DD did this! with her own feet though

and - your DC asks for help with their socks and they are covered in saliva, but still wrapped up in the ball

have a good day everyone

When your DS has a box set of Dr. Who,but will only watch the same one episode over and over and over.............

What a lovely thread and so many I can relate to as well

You know you're an autistic parent when......

You carry plastic straws around with you at all times in your handbag.

While having a hard time with the education system, just the sight of the school gates makes you want to cry.

You seriously consider doing a hair dressing course, even though cutting hair is one of the things you hate most.

Your child is repeatedly banging their head off a surface, you stay calm, but really there are times when you wish you could join in.

You have tried to explain the joke on tv so many times, that you are now beginning to wonder why you found it funny in the first place.

When they have kicked their foot through the wall in temper again, you don't even raise an eyebrow, but while removing the stuck foot, say in your jolly voice "Let's go get a board and make some plaster, shall we?"

Even you know the lines to her favourite tv episode and can hear them in your sleep.

You buy the same things each week and break out in a cold sweat if the shop doesn't have any.

You don't realise you are talking like a social story until you look up and catch the eye of a woman staring at you, as though you have lost the plot. ( and to the woman on Saturday to whom this refers, yes I have lost the plot and it happened years ago. )

You start to see the world from a different perspective..........and that's not always a bad thing.

You try something different for the evening meal and are told 'we don't do different' and think that just about sums up our lives.

Soo many here that I have been nodding my head to

Pixel
Your ds won't get out of bed before he has his socks on

Mine wont sleep without them on and if one comes off in the night which is often, he will call me in to help him find it before his feet can touch the floor!

.....You were 20 mins late for school today because DS just had to examine every single one of the spiders webs we saw this morning that had dew from the awful fog, they did look beautiful but 1 or 2 were enough for me!

You dont notice the dents in the walls anymore.....

Despite the issues that the change in routine bring, you look forward to school holidays because you know that you will have a week of not having the 'what will they say at picking up time' feeling as you walk through the school gate.

Ditto for the homework struggles......

Your handbag is full of 'distracting' items.

You are always bang on time for appointments because you know DSs waiting around time is limited to 5 mins max.

You avoid the checkout at the supermarket with the lovely transexual operator [who was obviously born male] because you know that DS will say something.

You can count how many unsolicited kisses your child has ever given you and you remember them all.........you also wait till they are fast asleep so you can kiss their cheeks as kisses are banned.

You know who you true friends are.

when you read the thread in 'chat' Leaving a 4yr old by himself (it's not about leaving DC home alone)

and realising that your DD has never even contemplated it, that your routine in the morning is mapped out, to nearest inch, every day

We have a Harry Potter box set, but I know the 'Troll, troll in the dungeon, I thought you ought to know,' bit very very well.

When each issue of Big Bang Theory has to be watched on Thursday and Saturday.
'Baked Potato Thursday' is EVERY Thursday, come 10 degrees or 30!
As with others, the socks live in a drawer below the bed.
When you inspect tummies for the ink drawings before you do the school run, I'm sure I was checked for make up, rather than indelible ink drawings.
When you write to manufacturers and supermarkets for left over supplies of soap when it's has been re-jigged or discontinued!

When you ask "do you have this in blue?" and then reject it if the blue isn't the right sort of blue.

When you write in the home school book that ds had an early night and you quantify that as before 3am.

When you reach into your handbag for a purse and pull out chewed blu tac, broken fiddle toys, stones, leaves, sticks, half eaten gingerbread and the headless Mario figure and you put them all back again because you know that at any given time in the future they will be needed and there will be hell to pay if they aren't where they put them.

When forgetting to have a pair of socks next to the bed results in carrying an angry boy from the bed to the bathroom and back again with threats of not being his best friend (the ultimate insult in our house) if you let his feet touch the ground.

Amberleaf Ds does generally insist on wearing his socks at all times including in bed, but his toenails have been looking a bit yellow and knarled lately and I was worried his feet weren't get enough air so I've been taking them off occasionally when he goes to bed. He's not happy about it and I can sometimes hear him giggling to himself in the dark as he tries to put them back on. It takes him ages but he's so pleased with himself it makes me .

pixel, you reminded me of another one

...when toe nail and finger nail clipping is achieved by begging, bargaining and bribery and you don't think twice about letting your DS cut off all of your nice long fingernails first