You might be an autism parent if...

[ihatecbeebies]

I came across this on Twitter today and thought some of them were really nice and some were just really funny and I wanted to share them with you all;

You might be an autism parent if...

You wouldn't change your child for the world- but want often to change the World for your child!

One moment, you feel completely alone & the next, you're a part of a large, passionate & supportive community.

you are completely oblivious to the sounds your child is repeating but everyone else around you is going nuts.

you can tell the difference between a meltdown and a typical kid who is spoiled rotten.

you always talk like you are in a social story....."And that's ok"

You have more compassion, patience, love, tolerance, hope, resilience & stamina than u ever thought possible.

you feel extravagant on a day you put your hair up in something other than a messy bun and put on mascara.

you've read enough books on autism that you could practically be a doctor yourself.

the answer to "What would you like for dinner" is "Something round"

You might be an autism parent if you don't think twice about finding potatoes in the washing machine and carrots behind the tv

When you hardly have a doorway in the house without a stairgate on it.

When your floor is permanently covered in toys and shoes - lined up and grouped by size, colour or shape.

When you're on first name terms with most of the staff at school - which probably has you on speed dial.

When you have no social life, but still need a calendar to coordinate appointments.

This thread is so entertaining! DS was only diagnosed after starting secondary school, we used to think he was just a bit quirky but so many of these ring true, especially textile issues, nail/hair cutting and the random collection of objects that must never be moved or thrown away.

His orthodontist wrote to my dentist last week, asking him to remove DS's last. baby tooth in preparation for his fixed brace to go on. The letter was copied to me and I left it on the hall table for DS to see. By the time I got home he had worried himself silly thinking that it was ME that would be taking his tooth out somehow

When you futilely remove butter smeared slices of cucumber from the banisters, and inform your son calmly that when you said "Don't throw them away" you DIDN'T mean "Carely stick them to the banisters." You meant "Eat them".

When you pay out twenty pence per cut toenail.

When you have to drag your eight year old off the bus as he is joyfully telling bewildered little old ladies about inertia, gravity and the difference between them (unsolicited, of course)

When you finally drag out of him the reason that he wants to go and live at Daddy's house, a subject he has been sobbing over for 2 weeks ("Daddy has all the Pop Cap games on his PC and you only have the Demo!!!)

When you get dressed in the morning, into nice new jeans and a cheerful red cardigan, and ask your son if he thinks you lok better now. He replies that he prefers what you were wearing before (a lilac coffee stained nightie and mismatched slipper socks)

A new pair of socks has to be lined up before a worn pair will be removed.

When you brusquely thank interfering passersby for their input, and add "And now please be quiet and go away, because I am busy" - and you really, genuinely don't care what they think because you are more concerned with lifting a 30 kilo child out from under the bench.

If a dog bites your eight year old, you assume it was his own fault and wave away the profuse apologies from the dog's owner.

Less is more. A word is a whole sentence. An apple is a food group. Plain pasta is a meal.

"When you brusquely thank interfering passersby for their input, and add "And now please be quiet and go away, because I am busy" - and you really, genuinely don't care what they think because you are more concerned with lifting a 30 kilo child out from under the bench."

Where I used to work (teens with ASD) we had ID cards we were supposed to would have on display at all times they were fucking stupid, marked us out and got in the way On the back was a card saying that the restraint we were using was part of a care plan and was assessed as necessary to the needs of the child or some such waffle. My point being, there must be some kind of business card you can print out and staple to people's foreheads stuff down people's throats shove up people's arses hand out at times like the above?

When your 15 year old (NT) DD asks you why there is crushed bourbon biscuit in the charger socket of your new phone (of course it was the 'spare' biscuit in my bag)