Stimming

[Jimjams]

Need some theories on this. DS1's current stim is to kneel down and go all rigid arching his back. Or he sits or lies going all rigid and jerky (horrible explanation but does look a bit like a seizure- first time he did it at nursery they sent him home!) He's got really bad recently. Before starting school he'd pretty much stopped- we were all commenting on how he had completely stopped stimming. As soon as he started school it came back but with a vengence. He's fine at school or nursery but as soon as he comes home it starts. If I don't engage him in something it starts immediately (so he will sit there for several hours doing this literally). Turning the TV on makes it worse (I think its the bright lights- they over-stimulate him, in the sensory room at BIBIC he started stimming as soon as the bright bubble lights were turned on).

Is this just a sign of stress? Or of being overstimulated. I'm sure it can't just be stress because he stopped stimming on holiday despite being completely stressed most of the time (we thought it was because there was no tv).

Now if he wakes during the night he lies in bed going all rigid. I hate it- looks awful and really tiring, but I can't give him one to one the entire time obviously. Any tips?

Hi Jimjams, my ds has done something similar all his life and it is quite scary at times.Mainly his arms and back go very stiff.

I have always rubbed them and said "lax your arms", several times, most of the time this is effective and then he goes floppy again.I have done this since he was a few months old.
It is hard to explain isnt it but does not look at all nice.

I remember someone mentioning to me on mumsnet to video-record certain episodes to show to the docs.

or "lax your hands" with a gentle rub.

oh he's done it in front of several peadiatricians. I asked them about it but they just looked confused. I don't mind odd bursts if its getting rid of tension, but this is literally all the time he is home unless I am directing him in something (I think because home is a safe place where he can do it iyswim). He never used to do it in bed either. This morning he started as soon as he got up. I managed to get him to lie on me and relax a bit but after 5 minutes he jumped up and started doing it again. It must be exhausting to have all his muscles tense the whole time.

If we tell him to stop he does- but only for about 20 seconds then starts again.

I think I need to arrange babysitting and get his sensory room done- that did seem to work at BIBIC.

The docs are the same with my ds "baffled" but I put it down to his normal behaviour.IYKWIM.

If you know when a situation will trigger these "episodes" (I sound the like the consultant now aarrgghh) try and avoid the situations as much as possible ie no tv like you mentioned.

Sorry not much help but I understand what you mean.

no tv? My god what will I do with ds2- lol No it wasn' t too bad when it was the TV as we could turn it off, but now it seems to be all the time. I guess its the stress of school, so probably not much I can do- I do worry about just how stressed out he is though. HE goes a bright purple colour as well and his ears glow bright red.

Glad its not just me. I guess I should try going out for walks and things more as he seems relaxed outside.

I can really sympathise with you Jimjams but if it only just happening recently you could be right about the school or it could be his way of expressing a tantrum or a specific need.
Sorry just ideas but I know you will find out WHY as it is just trial and error all the time trying to communicate IYKWIM.
It took months for my ds to learn "lax your hands" amongst other things.

Oh poor you, jimjams, this sounds pretty stressful. I haven't any tips at all, obviously, but I just wonder if it's possible that he's not so much stressed as just tired out? I realise this doesn't help at all now, but if that is the root cause then it will get better, whereas stress suggests a more long term problem, maybe? My dd has gone from being mainly bright and bubbly to a very tearful and worried little girl since starting school. I know that the bottom line is she's really tired, there isn't really anything wrong as such.

I hope you know that I don't mean this in the spirit of "oh yes it's just the same for NT children" , I was just thinking maybe it will get better on its own, awful though it must be. I hope so, and very sorry if I seem to be trivialising it.

It does tend to be worse when he's tired - he has been doing this on and off for over a year now- and tired times are worse. The trouble is the more tired he gets the more likely he seems to wake at nights. As soon as he startef school he started waking at night again. He only goes to school for 2 mornings a week for 2 and a half hours! I know it's much harder work for him than the NT kids, but how on earth will he cope with full days?

i think its one of those classic cases though- he seems fine at school, but bottles it all up until he gets home. I think I need that sensory room- am going to organise parents to babysit, and dh to stop working for 5 minutes and try and get it done.

Have you tried massaging his back, neck and shoulders, perhaps with relaxing aromatherapy oils? Will he accept this kind of touch, and might it be effective?

Can he peddle a bike round the living room or just push himself- maybe direct his energy into doing something physical and releasing tension but a bit more gentle? What about splashing in the bath?

I think this tensing-up is quite a typical auti bahviour. Mine used to do what we called "the shudder", a quick tensing up of all his body with eyes scrunched up. I know a boy who likes to get UNDER his mattress and for his mother to get on top! (sounds like Temple Grandin's squeezing machine). Deep pressure can help, we play "squeeze" and it is sometimes one of his reinforcers or just a game. It must be a sensory feed-back thing. I agree that relaxation techniques can help and maybe you can think of ways to try to teach him some relaxation techniques while labelling them "calm" or whatever, then if he gets up set he knows what you mean when you say "be calm" etc.

ds! USED TO DO THIS WHILST HOLDING ONTO ANOTHER CHILD'S SHOULDERS.... from a distance looked horribly like he was hurting them- infact he had a very gentle hold...but because he would also grit his teeth and look so 'evil'(!!!) the other child always felt scared.....our 'stopping' this was to remove his hands and hold HIM gently on His shoulders and then cuddle... whilst reinforcing the 'don't do it 'to others- he was 5 then...he's almost 10 now and either wanders rouund making chicken noises or saying "yeah Baby" (austin powers style) which are equally annoying....but amusing and don't 'hurt' so i try to ignore...till he 'develops' the next noise/stim etc!!

Thanks for these ideas. I'm going to try out a few and see how he goes.

next to no stimming today. I think it must be an overload thing.

Jimjams - Dh told me that he used to do the 'tensing' thing when he was a child. It was something he did when he felt overwhelmed by a situation. Tensing all his muscles like that was a way of regaining some form of 'control' over a small part of his environment IYSWIM. The ideas given here sound like good ones. Ds1 also likes pressure. He also likes locking himself in dark cupboards but it's not something I would reccommend!

Hmmm, locking himself inside a cupboard!!! Standing in a corner is another classic and hanging upside down! Jimjams, I'm amazed if this is your son's only stim. Mine has always had a lot, many sensory-related, and they change and develop all the time. At first it was opening and closing doors, turning lights on and off, water and taps. Since then he's gone through various repetitive noises (including the donkey!), all sorts of weird and wonderful versions of hand flapping, looking at things from the side of his eyes, climbing and jumping (the climbing partly facilitates a lovely big, heavy jump down to the floor at the end), I could go on and on. Of course he's 8 so has had more time to build up his repertoire! Some stims though can be quite subtle, e.g. flicking pages of a book and everyone thinks the child is having a lovely look at a book but its a sneaky stim, rewinding videos of course and other things that look somewhat appropriate but sometimes are not.

The pressure thing has made me wonder if this is why when ds hugs me he likes to press his face really hard into mine.

ds was having a field day last night with a big double sided yoyo, it is wooden with a spindle through the middle and string attached at either end. It is quite hard for an adult to wind up. He spent an hour playing with it didn't seem to mind he wasn't doing it properly and also wound the string round his finger so tight it was stopping his blood... then he put it round dd's neck... arghh! Just as well I have eyes in the sides and back of my head!

Oh yeah, forgot about the chin press. This can either be on their forearm or hard into your shoulder usually. I had a visit from an EP once and was hugging my son who was digging his chin HARD into my shoulder and I had to bite my lip and pretend we were just being affectionate to make a good impression!

Oh no he has loads Davros-he's spinning round on a swivel chair at the moment- its just that this one seems out of his control and more stress related iyswim.

He loves being rolled in a duvet, and now he'll sometimes go and hide beneath a duvet.

Anyway better go and do some copying and PECS practice.

sorry you've been feeling stressed jimjams hope things get better soon. What is stimming? My dd is freaking about leaves falling from trees at the mo. , very stressful in autumn

Stimming is "shorthand" for self stimulatory behaviour (yes, I thought it was THAT when I first heard it ) So its all those repetitive behaviours like hand flapping, spinning etc and sometimes unusual ways of doing things, e.g. looking at things strangely or my son scratches in a stimmy way and coughs in a stimmy way (I think Jimjams said her DS had a stimmy cough for a while). Sure someone can describe it better technically.

thanks davros I have the hand flapper in our house never heard that term before though, even off my mate whos got 2 asd kids!

is it like wheels on a car too? like getting down and looking real close?

Yes, I think that would count. I've also known kids who do it by staring at railings as they walk past and my son loves to flap his hands against a dark background so all the students we've had here over the years have been perfect in their (often) black clothes!

ds1 likes to bounce and flap at the same time. We call it his baby bird impression because he looks like a little bird trying to fly out of the nest.