Stimming

[Jimjams]

Need some theories on this. DS1's current stim is to kneel down and go all rigid arching his back. Or he sits or lies going all rigid and jerky (horrible explanation but does look a bit like a seizure- first time he did it at nursery they sent him home!) He's got really bad recently. Before starting school he'd pretty much stopped- we were all commenting on how he had completely stopped stimming. As soon as he started school it came back but with a vengence. He's fine at school or nursery but as soon as he comes home it starts. If I don't engage him in something it starts immediately (so he will sit there for several hours doing this literally). Turning the TV on makes it worse (I think its the bright lights- they over-stimulate him, in the sensory room at BIBIC he started stimming as soon as the bright bubble lights were turned on).

Is this just a sign of stress? Or of being overstimulated. I'm sure it can't just be stress because he stopped stimming on holiday despite being completely stressed most of the time (we thought it was because there was no tv).

Now if he wakes during the night he lies in bed going all rigid. I hate it- looks awful and really tiring, but I can't give him one to one the entire time obviously. Any tips?

Yes to throat clearing and also head nodding. ds does most of the ones mentioned here... Jumping off a stool onto the ground, running back and forth repetitively - sometimes he seems borderline hyperactive...jumping up and down on the sofa. Flapping with his feet lying down - in fact if he's in this position and anyone is near him he seems compelled to kick them in this annoying foot flapping way. All this coupled with the face pressing can get very wearing particularly if I am trying to have a cup of tea sitting on the sofa. It is getting better now but some evenings I'd hardly bother sitting down at all particularly with dd too.

He also asks me to do faces by saying "mummy you can do that" and then does exaggerated frown for instance.

Does anyone else's child mind if they sing - ds tells people to shut up if they sing. Doesn't like us dancing either

ds1 hates people singing too. We were told that it was the pitch of the voices that bothered him. Deeper tones are more tolerable.

We had a home visit from the Early Years Inclusion Service. When the teacher sang to him ds1 screamed "Nooooooo!" She tried the same song again in a deeper tone and he was fine. I'd always put it down to my awful singing.

dinosaur - ds1 would have been happy to be left in his pram alone all day. He liked people but loved his own company.

The assessment is in 2 weeks.

Thanks dinosaur. Yes it was a real eye-opener for us when ds2 came along. He was our first 'interactive' baby IYKWIM. If ds2 had been born first I think we might have noticed ds1's odd ways sooner.

Will make a note of that, dinosaur. Thanks again for all your help.

the singing thing REALLY makes me laugh as DS1 & 2 never been aloud to sing in our house!! Now there are those who would say i do infact have a TERRIBLE singing voice but NT(DS3)does ask me to sing!!!
I have a brilliant example of when ds1 would scream every time i sung 1,2,3,4,5 once i caught a fish alive- and DS2 didn't have chance to scream as i'd given up singing till ds3 was born- but everytime i sing in the car or ds3 sings or plays his keyboard DS2 gets very irritable and says we are distracting him- i've noticed that he is brilliant at playing and listening to the tv- he will remark on the programme's content without looking at screen- so i assume that it's the same when one of us is singing or he hears music- he is hyper sensitive to sounds- also at bedtime he hates music tapes - just likes story tapes- DS1 cannot have a clock in his room- the ticking is too loud to him and the digital type are too bright!(sometimes we have to cover the dispay on the vcr as he hates the flashing dot....but not all the time!)
DS2 stims mostly when he is talking to anyone-particularily holding onto table etc and kicking legs up like a rabit,climbing onto setee then jumping off,walking around or away then back to me (i actually get dizzy) - these he does every day and frequently- he also hand flaps if happy/excited/stressed etc- this is displayed as often as he feels these emotions and can vary- DS1 stimmed in the same way but have noticed that his are more 'noise' stims now- as i said b4 - chicken noises,clicking his fingers,clicking noise using his tounge/roof of mouth,a 'bird' noise made by sucking in his lips (ds3 copies this one!)
And both have 'phrases' that they like to use alot-DS1 "yeah Baby" (austin Powers)
Ds2 "nibly Nobly"(this one's definitely a stress one as only does it if we are at supermarket or something similar)

And that chin press DAVROS reminds me of ME pressing my teeth together and sliding them from left to right so that my chin would also go side to side reasting on the palm of my hand- i also used to manage to rotate my slipper around on my foot using the other foot to guide it, and both ds1 and i pick at the skin in the center of our top lip...now i'm the adult that isn't diagnosed!! The more i learn about ASD the more my terrible childhood makes sense...but for now i'll just keep trying out strategies for them and if they help me then i'll be happy too- i am seeing a psychologist nw every week so hope she will 'listen' to my possibly autistic thoughts and I may me right

Dinosaur- The singing thing was sad for me too- you know how before you have a baby you imagine being a mum- cuddling your baby,singing gently till they sleep- then as they get older the bouncing on the knee bit and singing 'ride a cock horse'....this image was shattered when i had ds1!!! It wasn't till ds3 came along that i was able to do these things...but by then i was so busy 'keeping an eye on ' ds1 and 2 that ds3 hardly ever got a look in!!
I feel like they should have been born in a different order...but there you go!!!

I'm thinking of getting ds1 a T-shirt with "No I'm Not Being Mistreated!" on it. This morning he was shrieking because I was getting ready to hoover and he hates it. He went off and locked himself in the cupboard as he often does. At this point the gas engineer arrived. Having just heard the shrieking you can imagine the expression on his face when ds1 emerged from a cupboard, with bruised arms and legs from his frequent clumsy falls!

Mrs F- I get shouted at for singing the "wrong" songs. I'm only allowed to song certain songs, but they change.

coppertop- with the screams that come from this house I think I need that t-shirt as well.

dinosaur, to answer your question - I think looking back ds was quite detached even at birth - he had a lot of problems with feeding but we got that sorted out and he seemed 'normal' till around 6 months when he was sitting up and he would look at me sideways when I went out of the room. I thought that was quite odd. Knowing what I know now there were lots of signs after that.

I'e noticed from here that our AS kids seem to be the eldest - or in the case of you Mrs F the elders of the family - any reason for this?

Mrs F - I remember a few things from my childhood but luckily it was a happy one... I don't think I am autistic as such but our family is definate quite eccentric so on the borders you may say. We think ds has turned out autistic because of the mild aspergers from dh and with the mix of genes from my side... anyway are you looking for a diagnosis for yourself?

oh god got to go ds is climbin on my lap - i don't seem to get near MN these days

Eulalia - your description of your DS as a baby sounds like mine from when he was a few months old. At first he screamed and screamed and didn't sleep, I just thought "that's what babies do and I have to get on with it" but people (inc my mum) have told me since that it was extraordinary . We were told it was "colic" (the HVs favourite excuse iyam) although I think doctors often don't really believe in colic (and nor do I), its just a word to describe a set of behaviours, sound familiar? No doubt some babies do have immature digestive systems and some problems but I think "colic" is used far too easily to shut us up (I also feel the same about grommits!).
My older sister (now 45) is AS, not formally diagnosed but acknowledged by everyone including herself. She decided it fitted her after learning more about ASD because of my son, we were all way ahead of her! My dad was fairly eccentric and his father was seriously weird!! Worst thing is, I can't blame my husband's family
Durr, not sure this is relevant to this thread but I enjoyed writing it!

DAVROS- you made me laugh...the bit about 'enjoying writing it anyway'...great therapy isn't it!!!!
Eulalia...deep down i would love THAT diagnosis- i've been 'happy in my world' for along time...and have enormous probs in 'other peoples worlds' (my description previous to me even knowing about autism!!)
I am by nature chatty and get over enthusiastic about whatever i'm into (very AS i think) i can talk forever about whatever it is (i mean....just look at my posts on MN!!!)- and though i have learnt to 'take turns' find conversations so hard as i do have probs with eye contact and am usually half listening to the other person and half 'looking' for where i can resume my 'speech'
DH is ALWAYS saying i 'take things to heart/take things the wrong way/and get the wrong end of the stick...'- i reckon this is me being very literal etc- i believe EVERYTHING i am told -i am also very 'jumpy' (loud noises etc) and have lots of obsessive ways... and to cap it all am forever'putting my foot in it' so to speak- in that i often misread situations and 'say the wrong thing' .Finally,I've never had close friends- i don't seem to enjoy the closeness that others have with best friends- however as you know i have gladly a great bond with my boys...however sometimes i crave being on my own and in my own space.
Like your sister- I believe i have AS and whether i get a DX or not won't matter- it would be nice though to maybe not to have to keep taking anti-depressants all my life as most of the time i'm not depressed.....mind you that's probably because of the tablets!!! !!!

Finally...... I saw the psychologist today and she wants me to write up a 'life history'!!!!!!!
She says she wants to look at my childhood through to now to see how it all fits together- i hope this is because she has noticed some of the behaviours and thoughts i have as AS.... however i was scared to ask her directly!!!!

Can't you lie on a couch and dictate it while she writes it down!! Although my sister does not have a formal DX I think awareness is more useful, both hers and her family's. If you did get a DX could you get more DLA

I did warn her that i would probably end up writing a book! I am doing it on the pc so it will take up less space (i have HUGE messy writing!) and i reckon i should use font 4 so that i get it on 1 sheet!!! make her get the magnifying glass out!!!!!