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A thread for Beatrice: Because a life filled with love is a life worth living.

958 replies

cupofteaplease · 03/10/2011 15:18

We are back from the hospital, Beatrice has been fed and dh has gone to work. So I have time to sit down and start the first post about the journey ahead, which I hope will be a long and happy one.

Beatrice was born at 36 weeks weighing 3lb 14oz. After an initial diagnosis of Edward's Syndrome was proved to be incorrect, an MRI and genetics tests were carried out and today we have some initial answers.

Beatrice's brain is very small and underdeveloped. The consultant described it as 'simple', because it does not have all of the detail expected in a typical brain. She explained that we should expect Beatrice to be severly disabled. She is also very small and delicate, and at risk of catching infections. They anticipate that she may suffer from fits. They have told us to watch out for her breathing during feeding, as her muscles are weak. They also commented on her shallow breathing pattern. They believe the problem was caused by a gene that both dh and I must carry, but they haven't got the answers yet and admit that they may never know. They have ultimately described her condition as life-limiting.

However, we have left the consultation feeling at peace. We don't know what the future holds, but realistically, neither do the doctors. We have great faith in Beatrice, she amazes us every day, and she is surrounded by so much love from us and her wider family.

I would like to use this thread as a space to jot down how she is doing, and how we as a family are coping with life. If anyone wants to check in and follow her progress, please do. We couldn't have got through the past 2 weeks without MN. Smile

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 13/10/2011 14:51

oh cup. sorry, lovely, feel very bad now.

ok, on a practical note - dd2 was tube fed to start with and isn't any more, her swallow did develop and it was all fine eventually (despite my comments re aspiration etc) interesting that the nurse went straight for 'stop' which may have been a bit of a knee kerk.

feeding slts are usually brilliant and often are keen to work out how bottle feeding can be introduced safely - as i said earlier, there are thickening agents which are available that slows down the transit of the milk and gives the baby a bit more time to co-ordinate the swallow. dd2 was always really rubbish with 'thin' milk (and thickened milk really, but was much better with purees)

the safe swallow tests are fine, but there is often a bit of a wait. i would start kicking up a fuss now about being seen by a feeding slt. did you have a chance to check out the new-vis.com pages? they have a'feed your mind' link which has lots of info about tube fed babies and dysphagia etc.

ugh ugh ugh. so sorry! but onwards and upwards - it's not for ever, it's a temporary step to ensure safety. (fwiw, dd2 wasn't keen on the whole breathing thing either at birth. you wouldn't believe it now...)

Thzumbiewitch · 13/10/2011 15:56

honey, you are not an "overprotective" mother! you are a very sensible mum doing the best for her baby DD who has some difficulties that not all babies have - it's a steep learning curve and you are doing great, you really are.

Keep going the way you are, and it sounds like Bea is still fighting on wonderfully as well. Hope you get to be seen by someone who can check her swallow reflexes etc. and do what madwoman said - and that all continues to go as well as possible.

(((hugs))) - you really are doing amazingly well, honestly. :)

HalfTermHero · 13/10/2011 16:05

Checking back and and am really pleased to see that little Bea is doing so well. I understand that it must be a little disheartening that the bottle feeding has to stop for now but as you said, Bea's safety is the main thing. I really hope that you get your SLT appointment soon so that a way forward can be devised. Bea really is a little marvel, She looks gorgeous in the pics! I am sure that given time she will be back up and running with that bottle again. She is working so hard and has come so far xx

HalfTermHero · 13/10/2011 16:08

P.S I love the Mamas and Papas blanket bea is wrapped in on your profile. It is just the prettiest blanket and it is so appropriate for your gorgeous little girl xx

CombineArvester · 13/10/2011 16:46

CupofTea sorry you have had to stop the bottles, hate the stupid ng tubes, but so glad to see Bea is responding to light and sound and keeping milk down, and has enough suck reflex in the first place to try to get a bottle down her. Hoping you get swift appointment with feeding slt.

Sorry your consultant is till a gloom merchant, there's a lot of it about, nurses tend to have more sense about predicting the future i.e. nobody can. I should say now she's been home a bit you know more about her and what she's capable of than anybody else in the world.

stegasaurus · 13/10/2011 19:40

I have just read your threads, and wanted to say how amazingly strong you sound though I'm sure you don't feel like it. Beatrice is such a beautiful little girl and obviously such a fighter. I hope and pray for a wonderful life for her. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Friendlymum67 · 13/10/2011 19:40

Bea is gorgeous! Love the one where she's looking at the light. You are an amazing mum. How is Mr CoT and your other 2 gorgeous girls?

Thinking of you all.

PacificDogwood · 13/10/2011 21:39

Much love from here too.

Better safe than sorry, and all that Hmm - yadda yadda.
Don't see the bottle-ban as a step back, just a temporary hold-up in proceedings.

Totally agree with turning you mother instincts (nowt overprotective about it!) into pushy-mother mode - the squeaky gate gets the oil and all that (I am doing well on the cliche front today, sorry).

I've seen the photos now - just gorgeous Smile.

shaz298 · 13/10/2011 22:14

CoT, you are not an overprotective mother, your are a fantastic mother and protecting your child is just what you do!! Be proud of yourself.

Re the NG, try not to worry too much. My little boy, who I mentioned before should not be alive and is a happy 6 yr old ( with some difficulties, but nothng insurmountable) had an NG tube for the 1st 5 years of his life and has had his PEG for the last year and a half. We don't know if he'll ever eat, he is extremelt orally defensive, but very recently started having little sips of water ( 1 sip = 1ml, and yes I have measured it....lol). Today he drank about 100mls of water in 10 minutes!! What a miracle. Still can't eat orally and may not drink again for months, but it's progress...............we love his tube. Without it he would have died. It has become and etension of himself like and arm or leg. He is not bothered by it and accepts his feeding matter of factly. We now give him only real food pureed via his tube ( not suggesting you do this for Beatrice btw) and this has completely changed his little life :) The NG is not the evil thing that many believe. It can be your friend, keeping Bea and nutritionally well.

Hugs. xxxxx

frutilla · 14/10/2011 02:19

Lovely new pictures! So pleased to read how well Bea is doing and hopefully the tube won't be for long and will help build her strength as fast as possible. What beautiful girls they all are!

argghh · 14/10/2011 11:24

Another one who has to check in and see how 'our' Beatrice is doing.

You are doing a great job and should be very proud of yourself - we are all proud of you!

cupofteaplease · 14/10/2011 13:05

madwoman Why are you sorry? Why feel bad? What have I missed?! Smile

PacificDogwood I'm loving the cliches! Never heard the one about the squeaky gate, but I like it, and I definitely need to get more squeaky.

Friendlymum Dh is still in denial I think, but I need to see his optimism as a good thing, rather than a frustration. I'm getting there! Girls are fine, loud as ever... Hmm

shaz Great news about your ds. Smile

HalfTermHero I hardly bought anything brand new for Beatrice, we picked up lots of clothes from car boot sales, and we are reusing all the big items from dd2, but the one thing I was determined to buy was that stripey blanket- I love, love, love it! There was another baby in SCBU with it- he was a special little miracle too.

Well, Beatrice was weighed yesterday afternoon and her Infatrini milk must be doing the job because, she now weighs .... 5lb 1oz! She's back on the growth chart in her red book. So God bless the ng tube for doing a stirling job. Grin

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByaBear · 14/10/2011 13:31

You sound so positive today cup. I'm away for two weeks, hope to read that Bea has flourished even more when I return.

Concordia · 14/10/2011 13:35

congrats on her weight gain, that's really good news!

4madboys · 14/10/2011 14:35

YAY for the weight gain Grin

another lurker following your story, she is a gorgeous little girl, all your daughters are.

you probably wont be needing any more baby clothes, but once she gets a bit bigger i have some lovely bits that my dd has grown out of (a girl after 4 boys and i went a bit mad Blush and would be happy to pass some on to such a special little girl like Beatrice :) )

madwomanintheattic · 14/10/2011 15:45

well, sorry if i made you panic, really. Blush i hadn't meant to be all doom and gloom about aspiration etc!

well done on the weight gain, bea, clever girl!

pruney1977 · 14/10/2011 15:51

Good to hear Bea is gaining weight. What a lovely little trooper you have x

CotherMuckingFuntingZombie · 14/10/2011 16:13

Fabulous weight gain!

It's so nice to 'hear' you sounding happy.x

BOOareHaunting · 14/10/2011 16:15

Glad to hear she's gaining weight. Grin

Hope you all have a good weekend.

starfishmummy · 14/10/2011 16:35

Cupoftea - has the community nurse (or hospital) mentioned giving ber a dummy while you do her feed down the tube? It will help her to associate sucking with getting a full tummy. (I wishwd someone had told this to me with DS).

madwomanintheattic · 14/10/2011 17:12

second that.

skinnymuffin · 14/10/2011 19:32

I remember that feeling when they tell you they're gaining weight, it's fabulous :)

Well done Bea, and well done CupofTea :)

DeeScent · 14/10/2011 19:34

Special hugs and kisses for your beautiful girl! Good to hear Beatrice is thriving. Have a lovely weekend together. x

saffronwblue · 14/10/2011 20:59

Go the Bea! It is not just the ng tube doing a stirling job - it is you, cupof. Your nurse sounds great - your little daughter has a fab team around her.

PacificDogwood · 14/10/2011 22:03

Yeah to phantastic weight gain Smile!
I so remember the feeling of having turned a corner when DS2 'hit' the magic 5 lbs - so well done, both of you.

I'd also third the dummy-whilst-gettin-full-tummy idea - helps to stimulate suck reflex and to 'train' muscle/brain connection to get more coordinated.

You are all doing so well under difficult circumstances.