Friday night chat thread to tired for...

[Brownsugarshortbread]

Ages since I started one of these.

Evening ladies.. RL have been a bit busy but tell me all so I can catch up here with you folk.

Wine is on the table, nibbles are out and I'll be back later when I've done the hits that need doing :)

Oops, crossed lots, my DS1 just got home from the Science festival in Cheltenham and I was distracted.

asdx2, been following your DS's saga, sending positive vibes for your DH.

Sign, my DS's have grown out of ceebies [smug]! But your days sans children.

We're really big Doctor Who fans here! (All 5 of us I'm afraid) I had to watch it during my sister's wedding back in 1975. No video recorders in those days. Please pm me.

Hi cankles, please pass some of that chocolate!

Dd3 had her physio assessment today and she is hypermobile in all her joints [as suspected]. Her ankles are really bad so she is getting some physio sessions while we wait for orthotics.

She was really good although she didn't like admitting that she finds PE hard and can't keep up with her friends.

She still seems ok at school and I have an appointment with the new SENCO on monday to discuss all the paperwork which has finally arrived from the old school.

No wine or gin for me thanks, am going to an outdoor activity center tomorrow from 8 am to 8 pm with 160 Guides, Brownies and Rainbows.
Dd3 is being an honary Guide for the day as usual so I can keep an eye on her.

I must be bonkers!!

Oops, sorry ladies, got distracted watching/listening to The Kooks videos. I've had a song in my head ever since I was pregnant with dd and could never identify the band or the lyrics - then earlier this week, I suddenly came across it on Youtube - it was 'She Moves in Her Own Way'. Have made sure to get dd addicted to them as well, so I can play their music in the day without her complaining.

Am now eating the sorbet - its lovely - but it just doesn't hit the same spot as a nice big bar of chocolate somehow!

Hello all - just a quick hello, slurp of imaginary G&T (not allowed still due to stupid meds) and off to bed for me. Not been well this week with my still to be diagnosed problem so not much good to anyone past 9pm.

Congrats to all of you that have things to celebrate and to those who have got things to struggle with at the mo or who just want

I'm going to have my and and be envious of you lot and your gin

Ineed, its good that she's been seen and is getting some help with the hypermobility. Did they say how long she'll have to wait for orthotics?

You are so active with all this Guides/Brownies business - I'm exhausted just thinking about it. How do you do it?

Hurray, Ineedalife and Moose. I thought I'd killed the thread stone dead!

Ineed, pardon my ignorance, but what are orthotics?

I need desperately to go on a diet after my holiday as I've just overtaken DH on weight, but the chocolate is calling.

No gin or chocolate for me either Ben10. Unfortunately no either as we're out of decaff and I really need to sleep tonight.

Sorry to hear you aren't well. Are they running any tests or anything?

Hello Ben10. Look after yourself, sweetie. Pass the

Ellen, you know I'll always be along to stalk you at some point!

Orthotics are structured supports, either in the form of inserts for the shoes, or in some cases splints. I had them in secondary school (hypermobile hips, knees and ankles) but stupidly refused to wear them and now suffer from really bad joint pain as a result. In my defence, they were huge great plastic foot molds with sharp edges that made my feet bleed and I had to wear size 10 lace up boots to fit them in - not what you want in your first year of secondary when you just want to fit in. They are much sleeker and better made these days.

sigh... DH is sleeping and I'm sitting here frustrated. He works shift work and was sleeping today, then was up for a couple hours and back to bed for a nap. So here I am alone. Makes me feel so alone and depressed. I've told him this before, and he says he won't sleep the extra time. But when he says he's tired and needs to get a nap in before work, it makes me the bad guy if I say no. And then here I am stuck alone again. I already feel isolated because of everything else... and now this as well. I'm really struggling with this, on top of everything. This is the one thing that I just can't bear. It just makes me feel like I'm drowning by myself.
And I hate that it bothers me so much, but it does. He's still on his meds for depression (don't see that changing anytime soon, tbh), and I used to really resent the extra sleep he was taking when he was really having problems with the depression, as I am functioning on very little, and it seemed like he was always sleeping while I had no choice but to get on with things. Can't talk to DD or DS1 or DIL about it, can't talk to MIL (although she offered to lend an ear, I figure not good form to whinge about DH to her ), and talking to DH is pointless as he apologises, says he'll stop doing it, but then does it over and over again.

I can't decide if I resent more the fact that he's getting uninterrupted sleep (which I rarely if ever get!) or just more sleep than me or that I'm alone with nobody all evening repeatedly. Just not sure which bothers me most...

And no wine in the house ... full day tomorrow (haircut day which is always bad)... visit to MILs... friends popping over in morning before haircuts... plus the usual house stuff (laundry, dishes, kids, etc). DH working again so he'll want to nap at some point during the day tomorrow and god knows when that'll be... most likely when I'm most stressed and least likely to tolerate it well.... I need to sit down with him and go over the statement and I just can't seem to pin him down to discuss it (slight denial or difficulty dealing with it perhaps?). Just another thing left in my lap to deal with (all paperwork lands on my lap as he is rubbish with it).

sorry... this evening has gone downhill for me....

Ooo Ellen, while you're here can I ask you a huge favour please?

The Inclusion lady said it would be a really useful exercise to ask someone who supports a child with ASD, with similar problems to ds how they approach supporting them. What we really need is a sample run down of an average day - eg:

8.55 - meet and greet, discuss any anxieties, unpack bag, compile list of what needs handing in ec and go over timetable for the day
9.00 - child to registration and assembly - no support required
9.30 - Maths, 1-2-1 support, helping with organising thoughts, transfer of skills and presentation etc
10.30 - Literacy 1-2-1 supporting, helping with ..... etc

I know its really cheeky, but would you possibly be able to help me with that? Its really only to give me a good idea of the kind of support we should realistically be expecting, so that I can make sure I have those areas covered in the application.

I will understand if you're too busy or don't want to, just thought I'd ask.

Thanks Moose. My friend's DS is hypermobile and has shoe inserts, thought that's what it was. There was a thread a month or so ago wondering if hypermobility had any connection with ASD, as there seem to be so many on here with both DXs. Obviously also lots with only one or the other also. My friend's DS is a bit quirky and OCDish, but it's only me with my jaundiced view of the world who thinks 'spectrum?'

Hi Everyone. Just joining in as I've been working tonight. I would offer you some Pear Cider, but drank it all with my dinner. . On healthy eating fad just now in a bid to lose weight so no chocolate or cakes... sorry.

EllenJane - glad you had a good hol. We had a great weekend in Bolton. DH and I got to have a day to ourselves .

Have read up and well done to those who've got good results on things. Sorry for those who've been having it tough. We're not Dr Who fans here. Love Shaun the Sheep though - makes us all laugh! Sad really!

Oh Triggles. Come on here and let it out whenever you need to, it sounds really hard. We all spend so much time every day living and breathing it all, that we all need someone to share with at the end of the day, it terribly isolating if we can't share the load.

If he's getting more sleep than you, I don't think its unreasonable for you to expect him to forgo his nap at all.

I think sometimes they forget that we need to actually spend time together, not only for the sake of our relationship, but so we can get all the things that life requires of us done.

I can't pin my DH down to help me with the statement application either - same thing I think - basically he can't face the enormity of it and what it stands for. Its not fair, but its the way it is. I can't say I'm happy about it and every now and then I get really angry, but I know it not going to change. Very occasionally he gets angry about something that's going on with ds1 and tries to get in the middle of things, so then I have to hold him back, because he's oblivious to all the politics and posturing involved and would only make things worse - drives me batty - he's about as much use as a chocolate teapot in it all really.

Crossed with you both. Moose, I'll pm you.

Triggles, you'll have to have a chat with him about how lonely it's making you feel, and how you can't do all the pita parent stuff on your own. There's always one parent who takes on the dealing with authority stuff more than the other, but you still need his support. Can you get him to spend some evenings with you at least so-many days per week, even if he's tired? Maybe every other day he's working, so he can catch up the next evening? Make it set days so he'll find it harder to slide?

Sorry, it's hard when I don't know the whole picture or the personalities, so feel free to rant!

creatovator, my ds1 is terrified of Shaun the Sheep AND Wallace and Grommit! He's ok with Timmy Time though.

Well done on the healthy eating. I really need to kick start mine, but have decided to wait until after my birthday.

I'm getting a shiny new pair of MBT trainers, so hopefully will be able to start building my walking back up, especially now I seem to be coming out the other side of my CFS crisis - at long last!

Hello creatovator! What do you mean, you're not Doctor Who fans? Are you sure you're on the right board? I thought it was a prerequisite! Or is that just us?

Thanks Ellen.

Triggles, I agree with Ellen. The only way is to deliberately make time to sit down and talk it all out properly, so he gets to understand how lonely you are and what life is really like for you - I bet he has no idea, or at least no real understanding. You know what they say about autism being extreme maleness - sometimes I really get where that theory comes from. Men!

Triggles - crossed posts with you... sorry to hear you're having such a rough time . Don't know what to say to help. Sending hugs.

Moosemama - I've got a birthday in a couple of weeks - part of reason I'm trying to do healthy eating now. So I can enjoy it better. Also away for a whole weekend with my DH on our own next weekend. Not done that for a couple of years and was after DH had been in hospital with suspected heart attack last time, so not masses of fun. Really want to enjoy this one, so have to be good on food beforehand.

Ellenjane - Just can't cope with Dr Who. Scares me too much . I watched it when I was young, but hid behind the couch for most of it.

Moosemama - Timmy Time is great too. Funny isn't it... my dd and ds love Wallace and Grommit as well as Shaun the Sheep.

ineed, good luck for tomorrow, ds1 and dd2 have been out at a district sports evening, thankfully I always volunteer dhs services large for tomorrow then for you!

moose and ben 10, hope you're both looking after yourselves.

ellen, pass that chocolate over here, I'll look after it for you

triggles, that's crap, sorry you're feeling so low. My dh is crap with all the paperwork, hasn't a clue how the house runs let alone how I get all dd3s stuff done, I just get, what ever you thing is best love, like I'd know I think you need to factor wine and chocolate shopping into your day some where tomorrow.

Evening all! Busy week. Dd1 won her school appeal so happy about that had 1st salt session for dd2(posted other thread about that) that went well and gave us some advice and then fucking HMRC ruin my week by telling me today my tax credit claim has been selected for review! Yippppeee! Not! So I have to find a years worth of childcare receipts and hope there's no pissing cock ups! Apparently they have sent out half a million of these letters so watch your door steps ladies x

Chundle - thanks for the warning. Mine would be mega complicated .