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Original poster

I can't believe how unsupportive this board still is!!!!!

131 replies

devientenigma · 10/03/2011 07:23

We are supposed to be here to support one another, cheer people up where possible, give advice where possible.
I have been on this board years and I would say the last year has been terrible!!
It doesn't matter what the ability or the need is we all still go through similar issues and feelings.
There seems to be a lot of jealousy and striving to be the best!!
The board has put me off posting a lot of my issues, due to the lack of support and hurtful comments that people have and haven't been giving.
I can not leave the board as my situation is desperate, however I have become more of a lurker, please also think what this has done to regular advice givers and supporters, people who have also been around for years...........gone!!!!!

OP posts:
purplepidjin · 10/03/2011 07:28

Ditto. I find myself worried to offer suggestions in case someone comes along and flames me Sad

Goblinchild · 10/03/2011 07:33

Well, some of us aren't gone, just having a bit of a walkabout elsewhere on MN. I agree that a lot of the newer posters seem to be very different in attitude and agression levels.
I've only felt it the last few months though, and I do miss many of those that have chosen to go elsewhere because this board is no longer distinguished by its supportive and noncompetitive ethos.

Goblinchild · 10/03/2011 07:39

I've found your contributions fascinating PP, you post from a different POV and that's very valuable.
The fact that your contributions are supportive, intelligent and constructive re a major plus. Smile

TotalChaos · 10/03/2011 07:46

Meh. I try my best but have cut back on mn in general so prob spend less time here and reply, but i have often felt out of it a bit too on here, no statement, no real dx etc. I do appreciate its hard if you have an unusual situation as people dont always reply if they feel they dont have the same experiences.

TotalChaos · 10/03/2011 07:50

Pidge, agree with goblin, your contributions are well thought out and well received. I think its fab when those who work with kids or adults with sn care enough to spend their free time talking and reading about sn issues.

Original poster
devientenigma · 10/03/2011 07:54

I wish there was a like button as there is on facebook!!!

OP posts:
Peaceflower · 10/03/2011 08:21

Agree with Goblin. MNSN somehow seems more shallow - please don't shoot me down for saying this!

devientenigma don't even suggest it, even in jest Grin . When I was new and Grin, I thought it might be an idea, and was run over by an MN truck Grin

intothewest · 10/03/2011 08:25

I haven't been on that much as RL has been a bit OTT

I just want to say that I have read some very supportive threads(from new and old)-I post if I think I have something to say

I don't think it is true that all new posters are bad and all old posters are good ,as that is divisive (and hurtful to genuine new posters)and there is enough of that out there in reality

EllenJane1 · 10/03/2011 08:42

I have joined MN really recently and have tried to be supportive and informative. I don't have any idea who has been here ages or not. Does it really matter so long as you are helpful and have something positive to contribute? I feel I do have a lot of knowledge and experience to offer gained just by being a mum to a child with ASD and having friends with children with all sorts of issues/ DXs / no DXs and being a TA to another child with SEN and SN. I try to post saying I'm no expert but this is what happened to me, this is what happens in my LA, etc. Please be gentle with new posters. Just because we are new doesn't mean we have nothing to offer or nothing to gain.

I'm sure that this thread wasn't intended to upset people, just to remind people that the SEN boards are not the place to flame people, they should be a supportive and informative community. Save flaming for AIBU? True?

r3dh3d · 10/03/2011 08:46

Tbh I've not been on here much lately because the quality of thread titles has gone completely downhill. Because of the diversity of experience here, I can only usefully contribute to a % of threads. So unless a thread title either gives me a clue to the content, or makes it clear that the poster is wanting general support from all comers, I'm not bothering to open them atm. So I've no idea if the board has become unsupportive - for me it's just become illegible.

silverfrog · 10/03/2011 08:47

Flaming?

On SN?

seriously?

I popped back yesterday to try to help Star out, and ws thinking about easing back into things.

but if things have changed so much round here...

Original poster
devientenigma · 10/03/2011 08:51

Thanks Ellen,
"I'm sure that this thread wasn't intended to upset people, just to remind people that the SEN boards are not the place to flame people, they should be a supportive and informative community."
Worded much better than I did!!!!
I didn't say new posters were bad and old posters were good, I just stated people in general, not indicating who and what.

OP posts:
intothewest · 10/03/2011 09:17

No you didn't devient- (I must have missed the flaming threads)

TotalChaos · 10/03/2011 09:19

Because people often namechange for good reason to protect privacy, i never asssume anything about an unfamiliar name iyswim.

Thecarrotcake · 10/03/2011 09:21

Agree can we get it back on track and have a honk

Spinkle · 10/03/2011 09:25

Flaming? when? what have I missed?

intothewest · 10/03/2011 09:26

Yes please carrot- honk

Triggles · 10/03/2011 09:32

I've always thought this board was pretty supportive. There are always exceptions I suppose on any board, but in general pretty good here. I try to be supportive, but honestly, sometimes I don't know how to respond in any helpful manner when it's something I know nothing about, and I feel a bit silly saying "hi, not a clue, but hope you're okay" as I figure someone'll think I've lost my marbles. Not that they'd be that far off in that assumption.... Grin

BakeliteBelle · 10/03/2011 10:04

I haven't noticed any unsupportive posts and it's lovely seeing new people join the board. I must be missing something!
Welcome to all of you - new posters become old posters in time

BakeliteBelle · 10/03/2011 10:06

Also, I have just looked through the recent thread titles - they all look hunky dory and self-explanatory to me. I remain confused

coppertop · 10/03/2011 10:10

I tend not to post as much anymore because I don't really have all that much to offer atm. My two were dx'ed 6 or 7 years ago, so I suspect my experiences of that are probably out of date. I don't have experience of statementing and things are ticking along at school.

Off course this may well change when ds1 starts secondary school in September.

bullet234 · 10/03/2011 10:16

TotalChaos, you know with myself that when I was growing up I had no diagnosis and no statement. Does that mean that I had no difficulties, that my parents were wrong to worry about me, to have concerns about me? Of course it doesn't, because the difficulties and the need for the diagnosis was still there. So why should your situation be different? You and your ds have a need for support, regardless of any label.

bigcar · 10/03/2011 10:27

coppertop, I'm also really nervous about ds1 (unstatemented) transfering to high school, he's quite happy, just me having a bit of a panic!

smashingtime · 10/03/2011 11:00

I have posted and lurked (mainly) here for a while and am genuinely Shock that you feel like this. Maybe I'm missing it but most of the threads I read are very supportive. Sometimes I post here and get ignored but that happens on most boards on here doesn't it?

I really hope people on here don't generally feel this way as RL with SN children can be hard enough without having somewhere safe to offload!

coppertop · 10/03/2011 11:07

Bigcar - We'll have to set up a 'nervous wrecks' corner ready for September. Ds1 is fine about it so far but I'm dreading it already.