Okay silly thread of things people say

[TheArsenicCupCake]

" but he can't have aspergers .. Because he can talk to adults...just not his peer group!"

( and as an off topic add.. Ds is currently memorising all the computers chess moves it make against another pc he playing it against!... For FUN)

Yes, smug - 'have you tried...ad infinitum' is both annoying and so totally patronising. Come on then, show me how it's done, because I would really like to know! I think people really think that DH and I have the parental resourcefulness of a barnacle.

I've changed my name from lagaanisace, btw, because it was an annoying name.

best friend - Its your fault he has Aspergers, you were nothing more than dutiful.

School- We don't beleive he has Aspergers. Its probably that you took him ot be assessed that has casued this.

Oh yeah. Meeting two days ago.

School: He's making fantastic progress.
Me: No he isn't.
School: That's because he's got autism.

Oblomov - is she still your best friend?

Chocolate I e-mailed her a few minutes ago. I told her that I have been off work for 6 weeks with diabetes gone mad. Partly due to stress of trying to get ds1 diagnosed.
Thus she hasn't spoken to me for 6 weeks. That dawned on me today and made me so sad.
I asked her what she wanted to do.
I can't make her want to still be my best friend, after 18 years, can I ?

you all make my laugh so much.

i get ' all children are a bit like that'
'he looks normal'' you wouldnt change him' and my fave 'i dont no how you cope' which i allways answer 'i cope because i have to'.

much easier to cope now i have this forum to lurk and sometimes post on.

'But he's so cute and sweet' (stupid friend)

*yeah - he can turn into a rabid monster at he flick of a switch - wanna try?'

When picking up the medication for my epileptic son (10 months old), who was having a cluster of seizures as I was picking up the medication.

Pharmacist (inane chit chat): "Is he your first child?"
Me: "No, I have another child"
Pharmacist: "That's good (looking at him), any way you can have another one"
Me: "oh, uh?"

I walk away dumbfounded ... So what my son is broken so I just get another one?

I want to add, I am not living in the UK ...

On hearing that my DD has a heart defect-oh,my cousin's cat's auntie's girlfriend's baby had a hole in her heart,it healed itself dont worry,itll be fine." If only...

"Have you heard the latest about breastfeeding a child over one? It can cause developmental delays, you know"

(DS, 24 months can not yet walk + has other problems)

When raising my fears that DS may have dyspraxia / ASD or both, "don't put a label on him or he'll end up a self-fulfilling prophecy" (yeah, like labelling it could cause it??!)

ooooh she understands every thing you say

A bit different but just as annoying - neighbour who spotted DLA form on kitchen table -

'Oh do you get DLA, och I'm really glad my taxes are going to someone I know'

He he, love this thread, makes me realise I'm not alone.

What really gets my goat is "there's nothing wrong with him" or the various unhelpful anecdotes of "My friend's son does that and his mother deals with it like this [hint hint, why don't you try it because you look like a young mum and are clearly incapable]"

I was particularly shocked the other day when I was at my friend's house. Her DD has Rett's. Another friend who was there said "I know another little girl with Rett's, it's actually quite common." - I was gobsmacked, it just goes to show that some people will attempt to trivialise even the most severe disabilities.

What really upset me was when one of my closest and most respected friends told me that her daughter didn't like my nephew because of his Asperger's. Suffice to say that she is no longer my most respected friend...

I also hate it when people react to DS2's behaviour by telling him off, but do so in a 'modelling' kind of way, as if to show us how it's done, and then due to some random variable DS2 appears to respond and they obviously think that if we managed it that way then his development would be typical. Thank goodness his school knows just how unmodifiable his behaviour can be!

I've had:

'they bite don't they' when I told another mum about DS's Aspergers

oh and 'you're not going to medicate him are you' when I was pursuing ASD dx

'he looks fine to us' school, all the time,

Simplysurrel.....you don't happen to live in the Netherlands do you?? xx

Last night i had:
"there can't be anything wrong with him, can there, he's always been so alert"

Oh, ok then, he's obviously fine, so i'll go and cancel the OT, physio, SALT, genetic tests, neurology appt then, shall i?

Madoldbird - I get 'he's absolutely fine!' I think 'so he's seeing an OT, SALT, physio, geneticist and neurologist just for a laugh then'

Oh, Oblomov, I've just read your thread. That's really upsetting. The thing about SN in the family is that it can tend to mean that one's friendship circle shifts. I've met some amazing people since DS2 was born, but I also find I have increasingly less in common with other friends of many years.

"why don't you just (do X)?"

Because what is a case of "just doing X" for your NT children is very different for my child with ASD, of which you have none

Phrase should be banned from the English language ASAP IMO!

I have just had one in the playground.

'Are those special boots to help with his walking' (special said with a look of empathy)

'No, I got them from Next'

Oh and once, somebody said to me ' well at least you wont have to worry about having a DIL from hell'

When my ds's problems started to become more apparent my mother told me it was because I didn't give him enough toys or encouragement!

Yes - that'll explain with he couldnt roll/sit up/bear weight etc

re: is he high quality or low quality ???

That's genius - I'm going to remember that and use it :)

DS' teacher -when I mentioned he was going for appointment that could lead to dx - "well, based on my 5 years as a teacher [said as though that was an extensive period of time]*, I can tell you, he isn't NORMAL"

• the months teaching DS probably felt like a lifetime as at that point he was total PITA and she didn't have a TA in the room.