Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

Okay silly thread of things people say

106 replies

TheArsenicCupCake · 10/11/2010 17:44

" but he can't have aspergers .. Because he can talk to adults...just not his peer group!"

( and as an off topic add.. Ds is currently memorising all the computers chess moves it make against another pc he playing it against!... For FUN)

OP posts:
DJAngel · 10/11/2010 22:04

Great thread..

We've had,

"isn't it a shame - coz she's so pretty.." neighbour.. wtf?

We get the ' isn't it a shame' a lot.. what do you say??

' Her problems are just like any childs though really aren't they?? ' Erm.. no.

DJAngel · 10/11/2010 22:10

I also had a Mum say to me..

"it's so hard being a parent though isn't it, we're so worried about our dd, it's awful having the responsibility of having a gifted and talented child.. we're so worried she won't be stimulated enough.."

It must be a tricky one I accept that but boy was I the wrong person to say that to - I wanted to punch her!

lagaanisace · 10/11/2010 22:17

'Why doesn't he talk very well? Is it because you don't have time to talk to him?'

Could be that, or maybe it's just that I keep him locked in the cupboard under the stairs...

PolarEyes · 10/11/2010 22:19

"sometimes autism just mean the child is highly intelligent in one area" Ed Psych

So the triad of impairments don't come in to in then? good to know?!?!

Original poster
TheArsenicCupCake · 10/11/2010 22:21

As Ive read through this.. I have picked my jaw up from the floor, snorted a hot drink through my nose.. And nodded in agreement of anger and dismay!

Do do personally love the " but we done see any problems" followed closely by a long list of " he has a real perception issue" , " " doesn't see others points of view", " can't sit still", " doesn't know when to let x go.. He needs to move on ", " is rude to teachers you know". " won't wait when a teacher can speak to him straight away"... " and doesn't report any problems to us" ( urmmmmm well okay then .. Glad to know there isn't any issues in school :))

OP posts:
Original poster
TheArsenicCupCake · 10/11/2010 22:26

Sorry about the typos

OP posts:
LRB978 · 10/11/2010 22:58

'DS is just a normal little boy' - my mum

Yeah, um, so thats why the Paed dx'd him with dyspraxia in one 30 minute appt (and told me to feel free to go back if we still had concerns after the OT), why he has had 10 1-1 OT sessions (5 school based, 5 sensory integration), and why school are now supporting me with a referral to CAHMs to find out just where on the spectrum he falls.

But truthfully, writing apart (level 1b-1a in yr 4), he is not that different from his peers, just different enough.

Madoldbird · 11/11/2010 06:42

A colleague, on hearing about Ds's (DTS2) difficulties: "Oh well, it's a good job you've got DTS1 then, isn't it!"

signandsay · 11/11/2010 07:45

Had to say I loved this thread, we have had so many of these....

It's reassuring to know it is not just us that seem to attract pontificating prats! Grin

NorthernSky · 11/11/2010 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

colditz · 11/11/2010 08:09

"he's just attention seeking"

SFB HV

What, he's getting up from a one to one game of playdoh to go upstairs, shut the bathroom door (over and over again) and flush the toilet (over and over again) because he's seeking my attention?? Really???

sarah293 · 11/11/2010 08:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

shaz298 · 11/11/2010 08:27

Great thread..............MIL before LO was born after we'd been told he probably wouldn't live til birth but best case scenario would be that he would have Downs ( which wasn't an issue for us at all),' Oh that's ok. There's a place just down the road fro us where they all live there together and go on hiliday together. Isn't that nice!' Shock She doesn't live in this country and was talking a bout a supported living placement for adults with Downs! Couldn't understand what my problem was...........

My mum when I was really stressing about having so many appointments and no control over my time, ' What exactly do you call an appointment?' Me 'eh anything involving a medical professional or a professional from another statutory agency!'

She thought I was including the very rare occasion ( maybe once every 2 months that I managed to actually see my friends!)

What I find really interesting is that many of the daft coments are actually made by those who are supposed to be closest to us and eho should have some basic understanding...xx

Smallmonkfish · 11/11/2010 08:58

Family member. "he's not going to have learning difficulties. I can see it in his eyes!"

Loving the thread ladies.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 11/11/2010 09:22

DH's friends wife uttered this nonsense from her ivory tower:-

"All children with special needs should be in special schools" (i.e away from her child who is on the gifted and talented register).

So wrong and on so many levels.

Spinkle · 11/11/2010 09:35

'He's just a ordinary kid' (my mother in her 'denial phase')

Oh yes, I forgot the 'it's a shame because he such a good looking boy' - bossy busybody in charge of the PTA. As soon as she said it you could tell she wanted to take it back.... I said nothing as it hung in the air, looming over us.

Funnily enough, she hasn't really bothered speaking to me since (result!!: she doesn't boss me about PTA matters)

Spinkle · 11/11/2010 09:37

Attila - the G&T kids are as 'special needs' as our lot - they can take up just as much time!

That aside - how did you not punch this woman?

ALeo · 11/11/2010 09:43

The (Belgian francophone) school that my ds goes to has just started to include children with 'dys' problems, (dyslexia, dyscalculie, dyspraxia), i.e. children from the school that my dd goes to. At a school meeting to discuss the proposal, one of the other parents said "I don't want my child in the same class as the stupid kids!"

Great - I want my child in the class with two teachers please!

bullet234 · 11/11/2010 09:48

For the lads, actually not so much now. Sometimes get the odd comment from relatives, but nothing earthshattering. Usually along the lines of "all children do that" or stating how he's talking so he's ok. Ds2 tends to get an "oh bless".

bullet234 · 11/11/2010 09:55

With myself, probably the oddest comment I got was relayed to me via DH from his best mate who is married and who we sometimes meet up with.
"Well she always seemed uncomfortable with us."
I had been under the impression for all those years that I'd been quite happy and comfortable around them Hmm.

streakybacon · 11/11/2010 10:09

Numpty dimwit Y2 teacher: "You know, they all even out academically in the end".

So how does that explain why you get some Stephen Hawkings and some Cheryl Coles? Even academically? I think not.

ShadeofViolet · 11/11/2010 10:16

Loving this thread.

'He cant have ASD, he can count to 100' Said by stupid Specialist playworker. When I said it was because he had learnt them by rote, she said 'you mean by writing dont you'.

'All he needs is more love and attention form you - stupid MIL

'All parents should get Carer's Allowance, as being a parent is a tough job'.

'He acts like that because you mollycoddle him, if you pushed him in at the deep end he would soon start to be normal' - ex friend Angry

IndigoBell · 11/11/2010 10:44

"It's because you didn't bond with him as a baby" (brother - who is a clinical psychologist)

"At least he doesn't look disabled" (mother)

"But he can walk" (mother)

"You need to read with her every day" (Mother - about why DD hasn't learnt to read yet)

"You need to read with her every day" (School who are sending home books which are too hard for her to read)

"She's making good progress" (School)

"She's just slow" (School)

AttilaTheMeerkat · 11/11/2010 11:58

Attila - the G&T kids are as 'special needs' as our lot - they can take up just as much time!

Hmmmm. The above does not apply to her previous first born DD. Fortunately for me her DD and my DS are in different schools.

"That aside - how did you not punch this woman?."

I still wonder why but I replied in a terse voice, "wrong audience luv". That shut her right up.

smugtandemfeeder · 11/11/2010 13:29

Have you tried - every time he climbs up on the table putting him on the floor and telling him with a firm voice - not an agressive voice - a firm tone of voice - not to get up there again.

Have you tried - putting him back to bed every time he gets out of bed and leaving him there for five minutes.