suprised at being so upset..............

[anniebear]

my Younger sister has just called and told me she is pregnant (and shocked)

After selfishly thinking there's my help from my Mum gone!! I really cried, I shall be the only one with a SN child, out of me and my two sisters. The only one that is stressed, depressed, cracking up and totally haggard looking through lack of sleep!!! My older sisters little girl is 11, they have had a easy life with her, she hasn't been any trouble.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want my either of my sisters children to have any illnesses and am close to them and both my Mum and Dad.

Just can't help thinking, why me out of the 3 of us.

Just surprised at how upset I am. My Mum dotes on my two. Really loves them both and is fantastic with Ellie. But am thinking everyone's else's family will be 'normal' and we are the ones that are stressed and are the only ones shutting doors when we visit my Mums, making sure everything is safe etc.

Suppose I am worried my Mum will dote on this new Grandchild and Ellies problems will seem worse.

Even crossed my mind that someday her baby will over take Ellie with it's development (shes only 5 weeks gone!!!!!!!)

I just feel really stupid feeling like this. I am shattered today and feeling really low anyway which doesn't help. And I know I have yet to come to terms with Ellie being ill.

Does this make sense? Didn't expect to fell like this. Expected to be bit selfish and worry that my Mum will have to share her 'help' time!! But didn't think I'd be so upset thinking like this

I have put off posting all holidays as I have been stressed as usual and every post would have been a moaning one!

Sorry is all a bit of a waffle and sorry for sounding so sorry for myself

anniebear, i could have written your first post, although it concerns my cousin not my sister. He and his wife are expecting their first child in October and tbh i feel really bitter that everything will be perfect for them, like it always is. i hate feeling like this but sometimes I feel why me?! My sister had CF and I have had a very difficult life so far

AnnieBear as my mum always told us and still does.
SPECIAL BABIES ARE ONLY SENT TO SPECIAL MUMS.

Anniebear, I am so glad you "confessed" - I have had all the same feelings as you and felt terrible for being a jealous cow and wishing other people would know how it feels. When I had 3 miscarriages I was really upset that my brothers both announced their wives were pregnant and I today felt upset that my friend's DS is running around chatting away because he was initially delayed in his development like my DS, and now seems to have caught up. I think it is just wanting other people to know how we feel, as jimjams says.

I'm not special though!!!!!

Just an extremly tired, grumpy Mum who yells at them all the time!!!!!!

But thanks anyway!!!