Misguided Illusion Part II - Baby still not sleeping through by six months? Come and join us!

[MomOrMum]

Thought I would start a fresh thread as, sadly, we have almost filled the first one.

Feral, Kiwi, Chulita, et al...shouldn't we have graduated from this thread by now?!

Now welcoming a new crop of 6 months+ babies determined to help us reach new heights/depths of sleep deprivation.

Here is the original thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/713951-Support-thread-for-those-who-were-under-the-misguided-illusion

BB - I have just replied! The existence of two versions was apparently a myth...but don't worry, it's not a very long read .

Sweet dreams all.

Just wanted to pop back to say that I've never posted but lurked a lot here.. after several hellish months DS is consistently sleeping through roughly 11-12 hours. He's almost 1. We stopped picking him up and very quickly he stopped crying in the night, all night. Hope this helps someone to know that it does get better!

thanks blinkin, it's always good to know people have come out of the other side!
I'm impressed at S sleeping through till 6.15, galena!
We havent been out since I had DD2 - i have been to a couple of meetings at night and left her with DH but not as a couple. It's not her waking while we're out that bothers me but the fact that if we go out, we wont be in bed by 9.30 and then it would typically be a night where they both wake numerous times and we'll all be shattered the next day!
after a few days of each DD only waking once but me not sleeping because of my cold, DD2 woke 2 times last night. However, DD1 didnt shout out at all!!! hurray! she is very proud of herself today!

ruby, how is your sleep diary going?

Well done Olivo's DD1! Skye woke once last night - 4 o'clock. I tried to dummy her (If it's not a verb, it should be!) but she wasn't persuaded. A 15 minute feed later, she was asleep again and stayed that way till 7. She also went down for a nap without a fuss 40 minutes ago.

Thanks for the words of comfort Blinkin. Sometimes it helps to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Skye now has an inhaler as she coughs a lot at night and often that's what wakes her. Not sure it's doing much yet, but that's cos she is getting so cross when I have to administer it she pretty much holds her breath until she manages to get the chamber off her face. Awkward madam!

Can I ask how heavy all the little ones are? I have a bit of a theory that sleeping through the night is somehow linked to body weight (Obviously not for all children as there are some older ones who still don't sleep through). Skye is only 14.5 lb so still little.

galena, i had DD2 weighed at the weekend. she is 16lb11, at 8mo. not huge, and much smaller than her playmates. she was 7lb2 at birth.
I'm really going to try and stop the night feeds this week, or definitely get them down to just one. i feel loads better and ready to try. have read the NCSS for a few ideas, and with less than a wekk before back to work, have got to try and get back to some sense of normality!

olivo - that is brilliant news for DD1 - does she get a reward?

galena - that sounds like good progress for Skye - remind me how old she is now?

In terms of weight, haven't got A weighed for a while, but he started on 40th percentile at birth, dropped within 3 weeks to 9th percentile. Stayed there until 3-4months then climbed to slightly below 25th percentile which he's pretty much followed since, but after he got the hang of baby-led weaning at around 8mo, he's been tracking slightly above 25th percentile.

Only time he slept that well in that period was 3-5mo, so don't know whether that has any significance?

Thanks so much for the schedule IsIt. Typically he woke for just a couple of minutes last night and went back to sleep.

Blinkin-I am inspired!

Galena I think R is about 10kg at 9 1/2 months. All length though. Although he is quite heavy he is also a skinny minnie.

hmm, both DDs uo about 3 times each last night.
DD1 was so chuffed with having slept through, she got to go and spend her voucher on the gruffalo DVD that she's been hankering after, but iskipped both their baths last night, i'm sure that's why they were up. still when dd1 woke for the day at 5.30, i managed to convince her it was the middle of the night and then slept til 7

have decided i'm giving up bf so will be having to cope with the night wakings without my boobs!

Can I join you all? I have a 6.5m DS who wakes every three hours (at best) through the night and will only settle with a bf. No amount of shhh-ing, patting, etc. gives any comfort. My health visitor gave me a sheet on controlled crying which I am not prepared to try and I'm so exhausted that I feed him just to get him back to sleep.

He has really taken to solids in the last few weeks so I'm sure he doesn't need to feed as much at night. I have a copy of NCSS but I'm too tired to read it in full, though I have started to put him down while drowsy rather than asleep once he has fed.

Just looking for some solidarity really. All my friends claim that their babies sleep through now when we used to cry into our coffee together.

hi all - sorry not been around

the lack of sleep is really starting to get to me

does anyone else feel hungover the entire time? And if so, what remedies do you have?!

Last night was the same as every - She went down at 6.30pm, up at 9.15, 1.15, 4 am and up for the day at 7 ish (DS was up before 6 ish as well )

tomorrow is the last day of the sleep diary and i have to email it to the consultant -

she is definitely more comfort feeding now - her eyes start drooping within 3 - 4 mins of the feed now so i feel more comfortable with weaning her off them

Also, since i weaned her she hasn't dropped a single daytime breastfeed so she has 3 meals a day as well as her milk!

she is petite though ... will ctahc up with the thread now

welcome, autobahn - hopefully you wont have to hang around too long here. sorry to hear your DS is up a lot.
I do recommend the NCSS if and when you have a chance. i have to say i skipped quite a bit of it but it does have some good advice (probably the sort of thing most parent sdo anyway but it's not easy to think sensibly when you're knackered )
This thread has offerd me some great support, even though my DD still wake regularly. i hope you find it as useful and feel better for knowing that loads of babies are still waking.

sorry ruby, x posts, wasn't ignoring you! sorry to hear things are no better. how old is DD again? mine is 8mo and still seems to be feeding way more than my friends' DCs. I have moved her onto daytime bottles as i am going back to work next week(yikes!) but she will only take a few ounces so she has loads! have decided to stop bf totally soon , i think that's the only way i will be able to stop the night feeds

no worries Olivo - DD is 6 months and 2 weeks

she doesn't take a bottle and i am going back to work at the beginning if June

she feeds 3 hourly in the day plus meals

how are you feeling about going back to work?

I'm kind of ok about about going back to work, especially now that i have managed to get DD onto daytime bottles - it took a long time and a lot of stress! - but i am worried about how i am going to cope if both of them are still waking lots at night (was up 7 times last night between the two of them ) And also how i am going to keep on top of all the house work and stuff!

if its any consolation, DD is feeding 3hrly and on 3 meals (actually, maybe this is not what you want to hear )
how do you feel about returning to work?

am feeling very ambivalent

On the one hand, i have to go back and i do like my job

but on the flip side, and like you i am dreading the practicalities and going back to work on the back of 7 months of sleep deprivation

oh, it is reassuring to know that other babies are like my little pickle

Skye slept through again last night!! Bed at 7:15, screaming at 8pm, so I went up to feed her, but she wouldn't feed but fell asleep again in my arms... Then woke at 7:15am!

Has been a little monster today though - despite having two good naps! Think we might finally have teeth action - rashy under her chin, red bottom, grumpy, slightly lowered appetite, finger chewing, etc. However, I've thought we had teeth coming so often over the past 6 months, maybe I'm just kidding myself again!

Sorry to hear some of you are having such ropy times. That'll be me soon as I've decided I really ought to stop breastfeeding to sleep at bedtime. Have a feeling that bedtimes are going to turn into a battlefield.

For those of you pondering meals and milk, Skye has milk with breakfast, mid morning, mid afternoon, after tea and bf to sleep. She has 3 big meals and some snacks. The mid morning and mid afternoon milks are formula, (until we've used the last in this packet) and I make 4oz which she doesn't always drink all of. The ones with meals are cow's milk and I put about 3oz in the cup, and it's hit and miss how much she has.

And IsIt, she's one next Friday - 8 days until her birthday! This time last year I was in labour and didn't realise it. Ho hum.

Sorry I haven't been on in a while - can see you've all been chatty!

We had a very early start yesterday - 5.15am - just after we thought we were getting the hang of A only doing 10 hours' sleep at night, he cut it down to 9.5hours. Ah well.

Then, to keep us on our toes, last night he slept for almost 11 hours - 6.25am start, bliss! - with just a solitary cry in between.

We're keeping a sleep diary at the mo, to see if we can spot any patterns, to help us make the most of the sleep A does.

Galena - gosh, I had forgotten Skye's birthday was so soon. Did you find a t-shirt yet? That defo sounds like teeth to me. But A has always had the symptoms a couple of weeks before they actually poke through.

ruby and olivo really hope things settle a bit for you both before you start back at work. I was very lucky that DH and I could afford for me to take a longer career break when it became clear that sleep was going to be an ongoing problem for us...

Sorry I've been away everybody - want to take the time to catch up on the thread but absolutely knackeroonied this evening and need to go to bed. I lost the thread while we went away last week, and after days of trying to find it I finally worked out that you can search threads via your own name. This is what sleep deprivation does

Sorry other people have been having a tough time too. Totally understand what you mean autobahn when friends who used to get woken up sleep through. It's difficult. I don't know anyone in my RL circle with the same level of sleep probs. One of my friends the other day was saying how easy it really is with a newborn, and how much harder with a toddler running around, and I just thought, not if you never sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and not if you're pacing around the house at 2am because they won't be laid down without screaming. Our 19mth old is a million times better now as a toddler than he was back then, so it should improve, if that's any comfort. He got much better at sleeping at exactly the time when he started to walk, perhaps because he could really wear himself out. Just the 3 wake ups now

Smiled to see you call your dd 'pickle', rubyslippers. I call my ds that, and he's just started saying it to me. Is the sweetest thing to hear

Wishing you all good nights.

Please can I join you? I am an exhausted Mum of 2. My DS is 2.2yrs and sleeps pretty well but my DD who is 10m has never slept through the night and is now either waking up every 2 hours all through the night or will sleep for a few hours and then be awake for hours and hours. I am so sleep deprived I feel like I have a constant hangover and I find it so hard to look after the 2 kids all day with so little sleep. Looking forward to speaking to people going through the same things!

Hi ladies - hope you're all hanging in there.

O has been sleeping pretty well over the past week or so - I think we're on the road to proper sleep all round. He's sleeping through maybe 3 nights out of 7 and the other nights he only wakes once or twice and takes hardly any time (often don't have to get him out of the cot) to settle.

So he and I are living proof that it can be done, that sleep WILL come and that Elizabeth Pantley is my all time hero

I don't want to hang around and annoy you all as I know it isn't helpful to hear that other people are getting sleep when you're still in the depths of sleep deprivation. If it can get better for us (look back up this thread and you'll see how dire it was) I'm sure you will all get through it to.

Thinking of you all x x x

p.s. BB and IsItMe - shall we try and rearrange that coffee at some point soon?

Yo Autobahn and MrsMcJnr. The cream crackered feeling is hideous isn't it? All our friends babies sleep through and have done for donkeys. I find people either think you are a soft touch or are truly in awe of you functioning on no sleep for soooo long. The only way I have found to cope is of sleeping/lounging when DS sleeps. But obviously that only works if there are no siblings and DS/DD actually naps during the day. Also, having a plan of action, so even in the most desperate times there is a glimmer of hope

Well IsIt, still no need to use controlled crying...We are still having 5:30 wakes, but since DP gets in the shower at 6:00 it scarcely seems worth trying to push that later.

Galena I make sure that I don't feed to sleep now (even for naps) and although he is slightly harder to settle, it really improves the length/quality of his sleep.

Bicnod I am thrilled for you...genuinely . Defo on the coffee front. We are away the week after next (volcanos permitting) for a week.

Bicnod ? I have been following the NCSS for a few weeks now so am delighted and heartened to hear that it has been working for you 3/7 nights sleeping through would be a dream. I am sure you have better things to do than hang around here but if you could just tell me what you think really made the difference I?d be so grateful

Bellamysbride ? nodding away to all you have said. I used to think babies who didn?t sleep weren?t on a proper routine but DD has been on the same routine from about 2 weeks as DS was from 6 weeks when we cracked it with him and we are still waiting for a night of sleep from her, babies can be so different. That said with DS I started giving him a bottle of formula at bedtime and with DD I decided to try and keep her BF alone, probably a big mistake, she now won?t take a bottle even if I wanted her to (she?s 10m) up until a few weeks ago, I gave her a bowl of baby cereal with milk after her bath but really it made no difference at all so I dropped it.

ooosabeauta ? lets hope walking is the key for my DD, I hoped food would be, then crawling?..still waiting

isitmeor ? like you I am very fortunate to be a SAHM as there is no way I could have gone to work in my current sleep deprived state, that said trying to keep my eye on both of mine and have sharp reflexes to grab them away from danger is sometimes too much for me ? am having a day when it has all been too much.

Sorry it sounds like you're having a difficult day MrsMcJnr. Hope the NCSS works for you. I should have a look at it too. For my ds, starting walking totally changed his mindset, and he became more independent overnight, but it depends what kinds of sleep issues your dd has. For ds he couldn't sleep outside my bed, without me holding one of his limbs most of the time, and needed a lot of reassuring. As soon as he walked he managed to sleep in his cot, still waking but not as often, and me getting better quality sleep.

I've had a crap difficult day too. Feeling tired doesn't help, and had a 'friend' (wife of dh's friend) coming round who patronised me about being a SAHM and about ds's sleep because she's going back to work and her (much younger) dd has slept through for ages. It's put my in a bad frame of mind all day! Silly really.

Hope you all get good sleep tonight.

Ahh, yes people thinking you're a soft touch. I get that from my in-laws and even my own mother. Though I'd much rather be accused of that than being strict with a 6 month old. The unsolicited advice gets wearing too. I think people have no idea until they have dealt with a sleepless baby for months. I keep getting told to give him water when he wakes at night. What's that all about?

I'm holding out for crawling/walking changing things too but likewise thought that about reaching a certain weight/solids, etc.

I'm going to make a real effort to read NCSS. In between moving house, picking in-laws up from airport and tearing my hair out.

Yes I get that from my MIL. Her all-time most shocking comment was that 'the children in Chinese orphanages don't cry in the night because they know they won't be rewarded for it'. Couldn't gather myself quickly enough to say that I hope to give my ds an upbringing rather more loving than he might get in a Chinese orphanage. Imagine, she used to be a health visitor She also said that she'd 'sort him out' if we left him with her for a couple of nights. Note to self - never let him stay with MIL...