Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

[arthymum]

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night?

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL ) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)?

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's?

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod....

Can't believe this thread has already hit 200. Depressing but at least we all have somewhere to vent .

One of my friend's perfect sleeper-throughers has just hit the 4-month regression phase with a thud. I have surprised myself by not taking any secret pleasure from it. You wouldn't wish this crap on anyone.

Amani - glad that the milk trick seems to be working for you. If only I could figure out how to water down my boobs!

Sambo can you remind me how old your DS is and how often he is waking up?

I was shocked when the the HV told me that my 8 months old didn't need ANY night feeds when at the time he was waking up every 1-2 hours from midnight to 6. My DS is a big, big baby, and we are also doing BLW although he definitely eats.

When the sleep HV came to see me she suggested that I could feed him once between 7 and 7 (for now). I managed one feed for a few nights. However, over the last few nights I have fed him at 1.30 and again at about 5am out of desperation to get him back to sleep (he doesn't go back to sleep though). However this is much better than it was 10 days ago (pre-CC).

I have been given the advice on another thread that I should try DS in grobags to help with the night sleeping/getting chilly thing - how many of you lovely ladies are already using grobags and not having any joy with better sleeping?

Thumbwitch - my DS is in a sleeping bag and it did improve his sleep - the first time we put him in it, we got our first six hour stretch. It might not solve all your sleep problems but I think it does help you to regulate them getting too hot/cold - one less thing to think about...

it's much easier to settle DS back in his own bed in a grobag - no change in temperature to deal with.

ali my ds is 27 weeks and he wakes at least twice between late night feed (between 9pm and 11pm) and 7am, but more usually three times, 4 or 5 times on a bad night. This is an improvement on hourly wakings which we worked out was because he was chilly. Plus he wakes up for the day anytime between 5am and 7am. He has been in a grobag since early Dec but the cold was getting to him from underneath as he's in a hammock. We sorted that with a fleece but I think he sometimes still wakes from cold - we now have the radiator on a touch at night and he wears a layer more than advised on the grobag instructions. Usually I add a blanket as well so he must be roasting!! I've probably got him too hot ! He is definitely woken by wind at least once a night and now he's eating food this is getting worse.

I have also heard that after 6M they dont need night feeds - ho hum.

Off to bed now for another lovely night NOT!

Ha, well I wish my DS had learnt that he didn't need a night feed after 6m - 9m further down the line than that, he still has at least 1!

ok.. ds2 is now 14 months and has been sleeping through for past 4 nights...... will it last? No idea but i am off to bed while it does!

sambo I'm not sure what you do if hunger is the culprit, as thankfully I can rule that out - I've tried feeds in the night many a time in hope he'll go back to sleep but he's never interested!

Well so far, not too bad on the CC, took 45 minutes in all to get him to sleep, I did the timed visits, & right on cue he would fall silent when I entered the room, I didn't pick him up once. As you can see from the time he is up again, for the 2nd wake up since his 7:30 bedtime - each time has taken about 45 mins so fingers crossed this one will too! DP is up with me too bless his soul, but DS just gets more frenzied if DP goes to him!

This is not for the faint hearted, is awful hearing him cry, he's not even properly crying, more a pathetic wail - but for the 1st night I'm feeling positive :-)

oh and in response to the grobags, we have always used them as DS has kicked his blankets off from a few weeks old, he's got 'happy feet' - but they've never helped with sleep - I suppose it depends what the reason is for y our DC to wake, if it's due to being cold then obv they would make a big impact - I wish that was our problem!!

I was talking to a child therapist who recommended not making eye contact with a child who isn't sleeping as it reaffirms your attention.

atilla GF says that too and I've tried to do it - usually though as soon as there's a peep out of ds, dp says 'ds is hungry/crying' (I am comatose!) and I have to pick him up and feed him cos dp gets too agitated - I think this is telling ds that he will get attention/fed everytime he wakes up but if I dont pick him up and attend to him dp gives him his dummy and I really dont want him to use that (see above posts) so ds is never given a chance to self settle and I think he would cos it's frequently wind that wakes him. I dont know how we're going to progress as ds must be left to cry in my opinion for a bit and dp cant stand to hear him

bluejellie look forward to a full report on your evening

atilla just noticed the time of your post - goodness hope you live in Singapore or something and were not up with a crying baby!

awen lucky you (but 14 months!!Eek)

atilla, that wouldn't make any difference to me as DS's room is pitch black (blackout curtains) and I never put any light on when I go to him (am very good at finding my way in the dark, years of practice) - so he can't see if I'm looking at him or not!

DS did a bit better last night - slept in the cot for 4 hours, in with me for 4 hours and then back in his cot until 8am - perfectly reasonable time to wake up.

hi arti, my 8mth dd still not sleeping, may i join please?

hi arti, my 8mth dd still not sleeping, may i join please?

But of course, wahwah! Feel free to moan away.

Our nights are what might be described as better but random. No idea whether he'll wake up at 11 and 5, or 1 and 4, etc. etc.

Because my ds is only 6.5 months and just getting going on the food front, I am assuming he's still hungry when he wakes. So I don't want to try CC (not ruling it out for the future though...) Everyone on MN seems to rave about the No Cry Sleep Solution - I know it's not a quick fix but has anyone read it/tried it? What's it all about then? And any other tips for those who have successfully weaned their LO off night feeds most welcome.

Hope last night was a better night for some out there.

artifarti I have read NCSS and it makes sense - have also used a few of her ideas with some success, but haven't ever been driven to implement the whole thing iyswim. I get to the point of needing to but am too tired to re-read the book, then things improve for a bit and I kid myself I don't need to

Anyway, last night was shit as DS has some sort of horrid coldy tummy bug, poor little sod. I failed my driving test this morning too but that has nothing to do with anything other than that I'm pissed off about it

Hi, can I join? I have an almost 11 month old DD, who used to sleep quite well but since before Christmas, seems to wake at least one a night (any time between 12pm-5am zzzzz).

I have to hold her until she goes back asleep, which usually takes an hour. I think it is just a habit now and I may need to do controlled crying (but don't really want to). Someone gave me the Ferber book today.

I have tried patting her and saying shh instead of picking her up, but she gets very distressed and only calms down when I pick her up. She naps and eats well enough during the day and is a very contented baby (by day!).

Will read back over this thread now.

aaah arthymum the voice of a woman with true wisdom
i dont belive iv ever slept!!! well obviously i did befor dd and ds came along dd 3 (now slleps well) ds 6months and has never had me up less than 3 times anight last night it was 6 times and he was up at 5.45 having a low day today very tired very teary (mostly because i dont evan have the energy to have sex with dh anymore evan though im desperate too come 6 o'clock thats it im gone) was contemplating formula that stuff thats supposed to make them sleep tonight but can i bear to bring myself to actally give it to my exclusivly bf boy?
whereas befpr ds was waking and taking full feeds everytime the last few nights it seems to be purely for comfort and on top of that now refusing his dummy (i no this is a good thing but at 12 2 4 5 6 in the morning its not for me)
anyway thankyou for listening

oh yes and just to add he's also out grown his swaddle and breaks out of the extra large sheets im trying to use as swaddling is the only way i can get him to sleep longer than 20 minutes

Hi all, just popping in to commiserate with my fellow sleep-deprived comrades.

[Wave back at Ali, other June 08 ladies, and Wahwah].

Last night rubbish here again - DS has been a grump today, might be teeth or something, he's had a bit of a temperature. He is usually full of smiles when he gets up for the day, but this morning he grizzled on and off from 6am, and then kicked off and was inconsolable. He calmed down eventually after Calpol. I'm not feeling too hopeful about tonight...

Mothersmilk, I tried formula in desperation when DS was about 4 months old (he would still take a bottle then, won't now, that's a whole other problem!) and it made not a jot of difference.

I thought NCSS talked a lot of sense, and a few of the ideas worked. In desperation we tried CC for the first time last week, and it was a disaster. When DS wakes, if we shush, pat, comfort etc he usually goes back to sleep within 10-15 mins. CC went on for 2 hours, by which time he was hysterical and banging his head against his cot, v upsetting for all of us. He took another 30 mins to calm down after that. Not trying that again soon; am v of those it does work for.

Good luck to all for catching much needed zzzzzzs this weekend.

mothersmilk our ds is exactly the same, won't fall asleep without being swaddled, but is a wriggler & too strong so once he wriggles out he wakes up! My nights have been spent constantly reswaddling him, each time praying it'll stick!! So with the CC we are breaking this habit too.

1st night went well, his 1st wake up was around the 2:30 mark when I last posted, took an hour for him to get back to sleep, then woke for the day at 6am - I was utterly shattered but it is a million times moreof an improvement. It had a knock on effect with his naps today as well - still short & random but has not been a battle he has just fell asleep when he's fancied. This has been a major deal for me, as I dread going out with him sometimes as a nap usually is preceded with a screaming fit, I then have to swaddle him, calm him down, for him to then sleep for 20mins and wake up cranky! But today was very different - I'm hoping soon he will take longer and less frequent naps - so far so good for day one though!!

Went to bed at 7:30 after half hour of wailing, and I am now tucked up in bed wondering what the night will bring!