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Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

987 replies

arthymum · 02/03/2009 10:34

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night?

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL ) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)?

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's?

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod....

OP posts:
sambo303triesforScotland · 13/03/2009 21:05

whinegums your cc experience sounds horrendous, you poor things

mothersmilk I also wavered towards ff for my bf boy but just could not bring myself to do it. I also heard it can have no effect and then you have done something you were not really happy about

well, ds is asleep in his own room in his cotbed. I've put a chair next to the cot for when I go in to bf as I'm sure I will do. At least I wont be tempted to bring him in with me so much cos we both end up asleep and I dont sleep properly with him next to me. Last night I woke around midnight and was most surprised and to find ds in bed with me - I had no idea he was there, he was practically under the duvet, very scary.

sambo303triesforScotland · 13/03/2009 21:07

good luck bluejellie, hope you have a good night

BlueJellie · 13/03/2009 21:13

thanks sambo!

Oh and we have a chair for BF, but BF went to the dogs for us after 4 weeks and it is now covered in teddies and laundry! Money well spent lol

abdnhiker · 13/03/2009 21:18

Hi, just popping in to say hello. We're in the same boat - DS2 is 9 months and up on average twice a night. I'm resigned to it though - DS1 didn't sleep through until he was 18 months old. It was much worse the first time when I didn't expect to be this tired.

(hello to all the june08 mums!)

LetsEscape · 13/03/2009 21:24

This thread brings back memories of exhaustion. My DS took 2 1/2 years to sleep through the night and he only catnapped in the day! Every week in his first year I went to baby clinic and asked 'When will he sleep?' the reply was it's the sign of a bright child. The only way to cope was co-sleeping and just accepting it. Even thinking perhaps he needs the security. I once asked a wise aunt who had 6 children what shall I do as I was due with my next child.. her response was get a king sized bed... we did and the problem was solved.

I came to the conclusion that parents who said their children slept through the night were either lying .. or had maternal amnesia.

And yes he was a bright child...11 years on he got into some of the most sought after schools in London...

My second child slept through the night from 4 weeks old...or was I too tired to wake up?

thumbwitch · 13/03/2009 22:41

Just thought I'd let you know that I bought a grobag today and am trying it out tonight - DS went down at 9:45pm tonight, in the grobag - shall await developments with interest.

artifarti · 14/03/2009 08:26

Morning all and welcome to the new sufferers!

cyteen - how is your LO today? (Sorry about your driving test but everyone knows that only rubbish drivers pass the first time )

mothersmilk - hope you are feeling better today.

bluejellie - how was the CC last night?

thumbwitch - did the grobag work its magic?

mothersmilk · 14/03/2009 08:26

thank you for the support and advice hope everyone got atleast some sleep last night!
i got woken just for cuddles last night in the end i just left him ds went off eventually not too much crying lots of babbles and wails have got a gro bag and contemplating putting him in it and doing cc it worked for dd but its so much easier when there arnt other children around to wake up aswell
anybody done cc with older children? how did you get on?

SuzeMcG · 14/03/2009 08:50

My dh doesn't want to do CC so must check out this NCSS. Hope you all get some sleep tonight.

cyteen · 14/03/2009 11:11

arti he's still pooing for england (horrid acidic green poos) and all sore from it last night wasn't great but wasn't awful - we just put him straight in with us as he was obviously in need of comfort.

mothersmilk · 14/03/2009 11:34

what does NCSS stand for?

artifarti · 14/03/2009 12:16

NCSS stands for No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley - a book which a lot of MNers rate as a gentler method than CC. Doesn't get quick results though; talking months rather than nights.

SuzeMcG · 14/03/2009 13:53

Months? Eeek, forget it!

Maria2007 · 14/03/2009 17:38

Hi again girls, hope you're all getting a bit more sleep...

Things have been quite difficult here. DS probably is a bit under the weather; not sure what's wrong. A persistent cough & a slightly runny nose, but no fever. So yesterday we gave him calpol, because he just wouldn't settle at night, kept waking & crying inconsolably, the poor thing I suspect part of the problem was the blocked nose, which meant he couldn't actually breathe easily through his nose, making holding his dummy in his mouth very hard (one more problem with having a dummy)...

Here are 2 things though that we're changing.

  1. We've decided to not wake him anymore for his 10.45 pm feed; just to let him sleep & hopefully we'll get to only the one feed in the night. Yesterday we started this (he had the feed at 12.30 or so after midnight, and then nothing til morning)- but yesterday doesn't count really because after 12.30, out of tiredness, we took him to our bed & (as he usually does in our bed) he slept through.

  2. we've decided we're going to throw cash at the problem () and consult someone to help us. We're just getting too tired to function tbh. So we're trying to decide between the Millpond clinic & Andrea Grace. I've put a separate post on the 'sleep' board to possibly get suggestions. Anyone know anything about either one?

alittlebitshy · 14/03/2009 19:50

someone i knew on another forum when dd was small used millpond and got the results. her dd was older -maybe 18 months though...

georgie127 · 14/03/2009 20:52

Oh can I join in ? good to know its not just me having sleep issues. DD is 9 months old and still waking in the night at least twice, with full on screeming and having to pace the floor again with her to calm her down. She goes to bed at 7 really well and it all goes wrong at about 10pm. We now regret dream feeding as it seems to have caused her to become restless at 10. I would love a decent nights sleep and to not eb so knackered all the time

MamaMaiasaura · 14/03/2009 21:22

Can i say i really really dont rate GF and her methods. I havent followed a method with ds2 (or ds1) and do everything that i shouldnt, co sleep at times (cot next to bed), bfed in night if needed, softly talk to ds if he really upset, dont leave him to cry (though i do wait to see if actually a cry and not a moan in sleep). It has taken ages but I have tried so hard not to get stressed. I have had the comments.. isnt he sleeping through yet? Isnt he in his own room, you should just leave him cry and he'll learn.. Or the mums who's babies always slept through.

Only advice i can give is relax and accept your particular baby has their own little ways and sleep pattern and eventually (honest) it will all even out. This holy grail of them sleeping through puts undue pressure on already stressed parents. xxx

BlueJellie · 14/03/2009 22:01

Hi ladies!

Well had a good night last night, he woke up around half 1, was easy to settle then slept through till 6:15am. BUT have had hell today!! I was up early morning anyway feeling rather ill(sore throat etc, general cold symptoms), and DS has been really cranky from about midday onwards today. He has refused to nap, and just cried and whinged pretty much most the day - and has been very bleary eyed. I think he may have what I have as we tend to pass our colds to eachother, unavoidable really - as he has also been off his food/milk today.

His bedtime is at 7 but I was desperate so at 6 I took him out in the pram, as he so desperately needed sleep and the CC just hadn't been working to get him to nap. He fell asleep and I got home at 7, put him in his cot - and put on his grobag. He was so shattered he didn't even stir, and I'd put the grobag on backwards, taken it off and put it on again!!

Intuition tells me he's feeling as rough as me at the moment, I haven't got a cough but I have headache, feel run down and sore throat, so wouldn't be able to tell straight away if DS is the same - what do you reckon??

Now, he hasn't woken up yet - BUT when he does do youtink I should give him a bottle?? As I know he's barely eaten today so wil find it hard to think he's not hungry. Or do you guys think I should tough it out & continue the CC??

awen I can really empathise with getting the 'comments', it really ticks me off when people tell me I should be leaving him to cry as 'it won't do any harm', as if its that easy to leave your child to sob! We are going down the CC route but it wasn't a decision taken lightly!

cyteen · 14/03/2009 22:11

BlueJellie I would offer him a bottle if you think he's feeling grim - being ill is an unavoidable bump in the road for routines (at least this is what I'm telling myself as we rattle up and down the stairs to calm my grotty DS).

artifarti · 14/03/2009 22:25

BlueJellie I'd go with the bottle too - sounds like he might need some Mummy love tonight - and if you're feeling ill too the last thing you need is to stress yourself out worrying. Hope you both feel better tomorrow.

Night night all, sleep tight (hopefully...)

BlueJellie · 14/03/2009 22:58

He did wake up bout 20 mins ago, I gave him a bottle he downed the lot, and went straight back to sleep. To be honest I was glad of the excuse for a bit of a cuddle I think we're both feeling a bit sorry for ourselves this evening

That being said I hope he doesn't wake up again now lol!

Right I'm off to bed, till morning I hope - Hope the rest of you lot are all tucked up snoozing, but I'm sure thats wishful thinking

thumbwitch · 14/03/2009 23:16

maria - just a thought - is there any hayfever in your family? It's tree pollen time so persistently runny/blocked nose, snuffling and a tickly cough might be hayfever. (Although I admit I don't know if there is a minimum age that hayfever can be expected.)

bluejellie hope you have a quiet night now!

snowjoke · 15/03/2009 21:07

Argh....where do these old wives tales come from, all I hear is how everyone little darlings sleep through, now not even needing dream feeds, going 7 to 7. Not me and my DD, think I am paying for feeling smug for 3 precious weeks around the 2 month mark when she slept 11 to 6, as ever since it has been night waking a plenty. Feeling at the end of my tether almost 8 months in, good job our babies have the ability to make you forgive them anything and just want to cuddle them!
Would dearly love to get more sleep and feed less, especially now she has nipping teeth. can't really think straight anymore and any aspirations to start to get physically fit again fall by the wayside at about 6.30 when I run out of steam.
Sympathy to all mummies in the same situation, and I welcome any advice that might help me get sleep. Thanks Artifarti for putting me on to this thread.

artifarti · 16/03/2009 07:54

Morning Snowjoke, how are you doing today? I used to think that all babies were sleeping through until I came on Mumsnet! Also, it turns out a lot of my friends' children didn't sleep quite as soundly as I thought when I quizzed them!

My DS has nipping teeth now and it does get a bit sore. If he actually bites me I push his face into my boob and try not to react by screaming. He is starting to get the message...

About the physically fit thing...I have been meaning to go to Buggyfit since December but don't think I would be able to find my trainers until the pile of dust that's gathered on them! Every Friday morning I just think "Oh God, no...too tired." I do try and go for a push every day for at least an hour and that has made a big difference.

A lot of people on here have the nightfeeds issue. Hopefully some people might be along soon with any success they've had.

Hope you feel better today.

wahwah1270 · 16/03/2009 09:32

good morning, another night of games - when she is in her cot she wakes every 45 min but when i gave up and put her in our bed she slept for 4 hr solid - dont know how to break this