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Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

987 replies

arthymum · 02/03/2009 10:34

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night?

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL ) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)?

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's?

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod....

OP posts:
stainesmassif · 28/08/2009 10:19

at kiwi - you're funny before 7am!!!!

KiwiPanda · 28/08/2009 17:21

I'm demob happy, DH has just started a MONTH off work and we're off to Germany. Hooray!! Now, if he can just master BFing I can have a month of 8 hour sleepfests

stainesmassif · 28/08/2009 20:04

fg good mantra. they will pass! i can see ds's two top teef just poking through his gums. no wonder he's pissed off. i hope they appear soon, as he just wants the boob all night long. he was in with dh and i from 10. 30 last night - dm stayed over in dh's boy bedroom, so we slept en famille last night.
though it was lovely to all wake up together. so although i worry that i'm creating a monster, he's such a lovely monster, it's hard to say no to him! oh god, i'm going to be one of those over indulgent parents who calls their offspring's pooh smeared bedroom walls 'self expression', aren't i.

Chulita · 28/08/2009 21:26

PMSL kiwi ...so true - they're far cleverer than we give them credit for. DD screams like she's teething/getting a cold/got wind/done a huge poo that needs changing cos it's giving her nappy rash/broken every limb and I rush upstairs to pick her up and fix it and she actually bursts out laughing ...sucker? moi? Maybe I should start telling her the story of the boy who cried wolf

stainesmassif · 30/08/2009 19:25

chulita - same here, ds screams his head off, unless i turn the light on and then is all smiles. beautiful, heartbreaking smiles! do they love us this much???

i think 4 teeth are coming through at the top,and am telling myself that that is why we still haven't repeated the magic night when slept 12 til 7 at exactly 12 weeks old....i'm thinking it won't happen again until he's exactly 12 months old....

feralgirl · 01/09/2009 10:54

Hello all. Lol at Kiwi's understanding of the inner working of our little geniuses' (genii?!) minds! Will be looking for the book too, sounds good. DS Naps beautifully if DH or I co-sleep with him, otherwise it's strictly one sleep cycle then screaming.

I'm going to really upset DS's plans if he has been carefully checking my diary coz I just got signed off for a month with PND. I've been feeling so rubbish and everyone's been on at me to talk to the dr and I've just been telling myself that it's all down to sleep deprivation but I finally realised that I was just avoiding the obvious. Feel much better for starting to sort myself out.

Dr said I've got to be tough on the night feeds and to stop doing it; he actually recommended GF (but I'm not sure I'm that desperate yet!)

I figure no time like the present so I'm going to try really hard not to feed DS after his 10.30 dreamfeed tonight. We're down to one feed at 3am ish and it's only ever a very quick one so we'll see whether we can survive without it.

feralgirl · 01/09/2009 11:01

Oh, Kiwi, was the book the 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program by Polly Moore? I've just bought it from Amazon.

Chulita · 01/09/2009 16:07

Sorry to hear about your PND fg, hope you get lots of helpful help
Let me know how you get on with being tough on the night feeds...I keep saying I will but DH's work always gets in the way. I won't do it on a 'school night' but then at the weekend I just want an easy life. He's got 4 weeks off starting Friday though so we may have to try. Good luck!!

KiwiPanda · 01/09/2009 17:45

fg Yes that's the book, hope it helps, and good luck with getting tough at night, I'm thinking I ought to do the same thing, too. DH and I are away for the month in Germany so now would be the obvious time to do it... DD has good nights and bad nights so it's hard to know what to expect TBH! Her napping is awful at the moment but I don't think being in a car for the best part of three days helped, she's probably forgotten how to nap in a cot and I'm not sure she likes the travel cot much, she keeps trying to climb up the sides Any ideas what technique you are going to try?

stainesmassif · 01/09/2009 21:12

evening all - how peculiar, we have had the same conversation this week - dh said 'we' have to start doing cc soon - i said i'm just not ready for it yet - teeth being the current excuse. still crossing my fingers that it will happen naturally

sorry to hear about the pnd fg. or should i say well done for doing something about it?? do you think a little commune fantasising might help? i'm thinking library, vegetable garden, creche, oohhh, swimming pond! for adults.

feralgirl · 01/09/2009 22:23

Cheers for the support my lovelies. The plan tonight is for DH to deal with the 3am waking armed with some water and lots of cuddles. I'm not sure how much CCing I'll withstand before I BF though. We'll see. I'm guessing it means I'll be up at 5am when DS wakes for the day so will be off to bed v soon.

Commune fantasising would definitely help Staines. Ritual burnings of Contented Little Baby? Sponsorship from Ikea in lieu of the many Antilop high chairs we'll be needing? Chickens?

KiwiPanda · 02/09/2009 08:09

How'd it go fg??

Can we have ritual burnings of hvs weight charts too please?

I actually did CC a few months ago to get DD to this stage (she was feeding about a zillion times a night). She got through to about 4am and then I would give in and feed her so that's her current status quo, except she's now throwing in a regular earlier wake up too. Sort of reverting I guess. And is having truly spectacular stops when I put her down for morning nap. Sigh.

I swear she's much happier when she's with DH than me. I just went out for a run and the moment I came back she started grumbling, whereas DH said she was on great form with just him. She ALWAYS seems to be on great form with just him. What do I do wrong or what does he do right??

stainesmassif · 02/09/2009 20:06

good one fg, we will have a huge bonfire for all the baby books in the manner of the olympic flame. hope last night went okay?

ds seems to have given up having drinks from anything other than boobs in the last couple of days - never had a problem before, so naturally now i'm worrying that i'll still be feeding at age 11.

kiwi - maybe she's just more comfortable with you? that's what i'd tell myself - she's just being herself! i sometimes see ds gearing himself up to give an old lady a smile when he's really knackered in his pushchair - he's damned with my innate desire to please people. not good!!!

Yorky · 02/09/2009 20:31

Why has it taken soooo long for me to find this thread?
Hello everyone

DD is 9mo and not a good sleeper, DS is 2.5yrs and was the ideal trainer baby! Last night she woke at 3 and screamed intermittently (whenever we put her back in the cot) for 2hrs, when DH took her downstairs to watch TV! She is a big time mummy's girl velcro baby which doesn't help him settling her as she pushes away from him looking for me.

A few weeks ago my Mum had DS to stay with her for a few nights so we could break her of her frequent night feeds without her crying disturbing him, and she is waking less since then, but....

KiwiPanda · 03/09/2009 09:06

staines I dunno, DH has always been around LOADS since she was born, is a really really hands-on dad so you wouldn't think that would be the case.. it's more like she adores him, loves spending time with him but the minute she sees me she's all "ooo you went away mum how dare you I'm going to make you pay now"

Ahem

FG am on tenterhooks to see if DH/water worked at all - last night was grim and we're thinking of trying that tonight

Chulita · 03/09/2009 18:45

Yes, fg, tell all...kiwi and I are in the same boat - last night was awful and we're going to be strong tonight and not feed her during her night time crying sessions much at all. We will be strong, we will be strong, we will be strong

KiwiPanda · 03/09/2009 19:29

chulita I'll be chanting that to myself under my breath at 2am....

Chulita · 03/09/2009 20:26

It never works though...I'm as strong as an ox before bed but I just can't summon the energy at 2am. I managed at 05:30 this morning, after 30 mins of ignoring her crying I fell asleep - I'm not ashamed of it though, she was a horror last night and I was sucked dry and absolutely shattered by that time so it's her own fault I couldn't get up
I'm off to France for a week tomorrow so I may not get on to find out how you all did. Fingers crossed for all of you lovely ladies!!

feralgirl · 03/09/2009 20:47

Good news all!

The night before last DH spent an hour pandering to DS's grizzling before doing proper CC. The grizzling lasted bloody ages, the CC was over in 10 mins. When I asked DH what he'd been doing in DS's room he said "trying to get him to settle on me" and so I gently pointed out that it would have taken a fraction of the time if he'd just given the water and a nice cuddle and then put DS back in his bed.

Last night I did the deed and, despite screaming hysterically for 5 mins for no apparent reason at 1am and muttering a wee bit at 2.30 and 4.30, DS didn't wake at all and certainly didn't want a feed until he woke for the day at 6.20 this morning

So was that him sleeping through then? Did it really happen? That long-searched-for holy grail of parenting? I'm a bit freaked out by the possibility that he actually did a 'normal' night's sleep and I don't believe for one second that he's going to do it again tonight.

PS Hi Yorky Sorry you're having a tough time. Feralbaby is going through a very clingy phase at the moment too, we have some full on separation anxiety going on I think. I even have to take him with me when I go to the loo which is a new thing in the last fortnight. A massive pita but hopefully over soon.

feralgirl · 03/09/2009 20:49

PPS Have a lovely holiday Chulita. Come back recuped and rested.

Chulita · 03/09/2009 21:34

Oops! Sorry yorky, how rude . Welcome to the group DD watched me pee for the first time today, I sat her down in the bedroom and she screamed so she had to sit in the doorway and gave me a very quizzical look - at least she wasn't screaming though! It is a clingy time I think!
fg that's great! Gives me hope for tonight, just expressing cos DD hasn't wanted to feed at all today so I'm not holding out much hope for a quiet night but she might surprise me, and if she does I'll try her with a bottle instead of boob. If I can just break that link it'll be something...

Yorky · 03/09/2009 22:18

Thanks for the welcome chulita and fg, I love this thread already - DD slept 11-7 last night! I can't believe all I had to do was post on this thread and she magically does her best night since birth!
Kiwipanda - your DD sounds like mine, daddy is fine until there's an alternative

feralgirl · 04/09/2009 10:30

Similar again last night; I think the 1am scream is teeth related coz DS wouldn't settle until we gave him a lug of calpol last night, then he had a massive drink and went straight back to sleep. Looks like he's going to do 4 at once so all of this is going to be completely out the window in the next week or so anyway.

He woke again and muttered at DH later on but then slept until gone 6 which was lovely.

I'm suspicious. Obviously he's planning something

stainesmassif · 04/09/2009 20:00

Welcome yorky! and for fg and fbaby. does that mean you'll be leaving us and graduating to the rest of mumsnet???? when will we see you???

feralgirl · 04/09/2009 21:20

Well, judging from the bumpiness of his gums, I doubt very much that you're going to lose me just yet.

Has anyone ever posted on our December 08 thread? Was Baby Staines a December baby or January? If by some bizarre quirk the feralchild starts to sleep properly I might have to move over there