Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

[arthymum]

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night?

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL ) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)?

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's?

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod....

Evening all... i think fufu has hit the nail on the head - inconsistency is the key - just as you get the hang of one thing, everything changes.

we have had a particularly good week, a couple of 5 hour sleeps after 12am, which have absolutely restored my sanity.

i even like dh. a bit. though i was supposed to meet a friend in town yesterday for a day out - i was so excited, babysitter in form of sil, bottles of expressed milk in fridge, and then just as i started to get ready, oh, my boob hurts, and then by the time i had gone two stops on the train - oh my word, i've got mastitis, and it's horrible! it came on so swiftly, i was actually quite frightened, and was worried i wouldn't even be able to drive home from the station without passing out.

lovely sil took me to the walk in centre and we got antibiotics, and i'm feeling much better, which i'm sure was helped by going to bed last night at 8.30 and not getting up til 7am. darling, sweet ds has started sleeping in til 7 at least most mornings. (don't tell anyone i said that, i'm sure it'll jinx it) and it makes a world of difference. though he still wakes a couple of times a night, what a difference to being awake at 5am.

see, i've just written one of those posts that would make me green with envy a few months ago, but i am starting to believe that it does get better, just by degrees,and sometimes you do have to take a couple steps backwards before you realise you've been making great leaps forward.

ps, kiwi - i bought some teetha at a car boot yesterday and the stall holder offered me a massive discount if i bought seven boxes. i turned him down because i couldn't bear to think of that amount of tooth pain. poor you and baby kiwi.

Yes - I have thought all of those things as ds gets up for 5th time... So glad it's not just us

Hey hey all.

Staines I am just about to write one of those posts too:

Last night Feralbaby had a dream feed at 10ish, squawked for ten mins at 3am then went straight back to sleep and slept until 5.30. Had a feed and a bounce about for half an hour then slept until 7.15

I feel almost normal today. It's weeeeird...

Sorry letsaveabrew, didn't mean to ignore you there, how rude of me!

Sorry you had a crap evening; did your DS settle eventually?

ha. and now i'm in the backwards position of looking at my comments two days ago and thinking 'you smug fool....you didn't think it would last, did you?' but i just have to remind myself that it can and does happen. and will do again one day.

and then i come up with my list of excuses as to why i don't have to start doing any sleep training. current top of the list is because i have mastitis, so ds hasn't been enjoying his usual milk. and also that it's really not that bad, look, here i am, eyes open and it's past 9 o'clock! and i haven't shouted at anyone.

letsaveabrew - how you doing tonight?
fg hooray for feralbaby!! have you started thinking about having any more? i have!!!

Ha! I was planning the next one in the delivery room within minutes of DS arriving. DS hasn't put me off, DH has.

ive posted once on this thread before ages ago and it always gives me a bit of comfort to see so many others going through the same battle as !! but im smugly writing to tell you (cos no one elso understands)that my 9 month ds slept last night from 7pm till 6.30am (popped dummy in) then till 7am for the first time in his life, i was amazed gobsmacked, feel like i shouldnt say it out loud to anyone as i will curse it!!!
he only had 2 naps yesterday, (usually has 3) so once he woke and 2.40pm he did not have another nod till bedtime, he was really whingy and crying and didnt know what to do with himself but he would not have another nap so this must be why!!! im sure its a one off but theres is a tiny glimmer of hope at the end of my very long tunnel x

Good lord I still can't even begin to think about the next one. Unless I
get a cast iron promise that it'll be a calmer baby... It's not even the
sleeping (or lack of) that puts me off, it's the fact that DD is so effing
hyperactive, will not be still for one minute. I took her on the bus
yesterday, as per usual started wailing as soon as push chair was still,
had to take her out and spent the next 30 mins trying to stop her launching
herself off me. She's about 10% baby and 90% eel... Oh for a baby that will
SIT! 8 months today and she still isn't sitting, mainly because it would
require her to be in the same spot for 3 consecutive seconds...

Maybe everyone thinks this but whenever i'm with friends and their babies
DD seems so much harder work in comparison to theirs... Other babies seem happy to be in the pushchairs for at least a few minutes!?

Sorry, having a bad day. DD up god knows how many times last night, DH waking me with coughing randomly... am exhausted.

Congrats princessdb, well done to you both! DS has also started sleeping better since dropping his 3rd nap.

Aww, Kiwi, I'm so sorry! I feel your pain re the wriggly baby though. I just know that I am going to be one of those parents frantically chasing around shops screaming for my child because he's run off to hide somewhere!

funnily enough, ds has never been particularly cuddly, but now that he's practically crawling - currently traversing rooms at a rate of knots commando style - he occasionally allows me a little cuddle at bedtime again. after we've wrestled for half an hour to get him into nappy, vest and sleeping bag.....i think he's got the outlet to physically wear himself out now. thank god!

princessdb - did you have to do any sleep training prior to last night or did it happen naturally?? i'm still living in hope that i won't have to do anything about it. last night we let ds cry for about 10 mins - and he worked himself into a fury for an hour and a half. he definitely won last night's battle of wills.... - why does it always feel so final? ie, one bad night and i've convinced myself that i'm creating a monster.

ps, fg - and that is why we need to set up our commune!! i have started to understand why polyamorous relationships work - not because the man is so studly, but because the women all get someone to support them!! com-mune, com-mune, com-mune!

Ohhh Staines, can you imagine the MN commune? It'd be hysterical Teenage girls would come and do voluntary work with us, like a kibbutz.

I can see it now

Though it'd probably all end horribly in an armed shoot out with Daily Mail reporters.

yes! and there'd be an aibu court with daily hearings, and weekly protests against gmtv bf v ff features.

and we'd have our own organic vegetable garden. and film night. oh, i could go on....and we'd go out on dates with our dh's and then come home to clean houses.....and our bedrooms would all smell lovely without stinky socks all over the place - i've already gone on!!

LOL LOL LOL

And MiLs would have to apply for a visiting order.

I don't think things get any easier - DD is still up ready for feeding 3 times a night. Helpful HV reiterates that I should try feeding her more during the day so she's not hungry at night cos it's that easy
We had one good night and that's it for DD's entire life [sigh] I'm not miserable really, just worn out. I want to start trying for the next one in a month so I really want her to be sleeping a little better. I'd also like to stop bf at one so that gives me 3 months to wean her off night boob - hah!
She's not crawling yet, sitting and wobbling, I have my fingers crossed that once she gets moving she'll wear herself out and sleep better (another milestone that'll come and go and leave us exactly the same!)
I'd join you on the commune but I couldn't live without DH, he's fab You'd have to ban all HVs though, what a load of rubbish. That'll be my next job I think, all you have to do is be able to patronise people and suggest the patently obvious.

I may be the only person ever to say this, but I think I'd rather have my MIL visit that my own mother . She's a darn site more useful with DD. Last weekend we had a dreadful night, I got about 1 hours sleep and she came to rescue me the next day (DH had to work) and take DD for a long walk. My mum's never done that. In fact my mum has never been alone with DD, except possible once when I went to the loo

Maybe she can come and live on the commune and babysit for us?

hi chulita! long time, no write!

i gave up on health visitors quite some time ago. it's such a shame - they can only reiterate government guidelines, so any knowledge or experience they might have to offer is completely wasted. what's the point??

i have mixed feelings about mil today. like kiwi my mil is more useful in a hands on capacity with ds than my own dm. and 90% of the time we get on brilliantly. it's just that sometimes she has to let me know that she knows best. which she probably does, but when it comes to ds, and leaving him to cry, i think i'm going to have to get assertive on her ass! dm, on t'other hand is almost completely useless with ds - i was so surprised to find that out when he arrived on the scene! it's just so long since she had a baby (37 years) and hasn't had any contact with them in the mean time.

dh's would be allowed on the commune btw - i just think it might be appropriate for mr fg and mr staines to live in a shed or basement where they can keep all their games and electrical wires.

I don't have anything to say about sleep any more so I don't bother coming on here just to whinge
MIL is trying to get me to stop bf at the mo so she's not in my best books - all "I stopped at 9 mths when they got teeth" even though when I said she was teething a couple of months ago it was all "none of mine got teeth til they were one" yahdeyahda
I'm currently looking at Ergo baby carriers to try and cheer me up. I think I'm having a sad on because I've finally admitted to myself that motorbiking mummies are a silly idea and I'm going to have to sell my bike [mopes around house feeling sorry for herself]

I'll join the commune then if I'm allowed, might have to double glaze/line my tepee though so you don't all hear DD at crazy hours

course you're allowed on the commune. you can run the motorbike pool. if you like. and the white noise can help dd sleep. can she go in a sidecar?

my gran married my grandad because he had a motorbike and side car! very romantic, my family

Lol, good for your gran

I've just had another breakthrough/brain wave. DD slept from 6pm til 11, fed then woke up at 11:50 - I thought we were going to have one of those nights again - I fed her back to sleep and she slept til 6am When she did her fantabulous one-off all-nighter I'd had her up most of the day and she didn't get her afternoon nap. Yesterday I put her down for her nap but she wittered away to herself for an hour before crying and I got her up...soooo...methinks I see a pattern. (more than once is a pattern right? ) I'm not giving her an afternoon nap today if I can help it, and I'll let you all know how brilliantly it worked tomorrow!

staines It's funny isn't it? You'd think my DM and DF have never had children of their own, let alone two, they are both so clueless with babies! It actually makes me a bit sad because my grandparents were amazing when we were kids, so cuddly and kind and helpful and always taking care of us for my parents, taking us on holiday.. etc etc. Whereas my parents are definitely emphatically hands-off.

Aww, I'll retract my comment about MiLs in the light of what you've all just said - mine can apply for a VO for the commune but my parents can have a standing invite coz they've had DS all afternoon so that I could get some "me" time.

What a load of rubbish. Went to supermarket, did laundry, lowered cot base coz DS is pulling himself up, gone to post office, made dinner, did some baby-proofing and DS is going to be home any second expecting his tea.

On the subject of HVs, I don't even know what mine looks like. Haven't seen or heard from her since DS was 6wo I think, she was as much use as a chocolate teapot. The commune will have to have some sort of deflector shield for HVs.

PS Chulita, that you're trying for DC2 next month!!! But actually also quite coz I want another try quite soon too really. I'm still getting my head round feralchild1 who still feels brand new to me!