Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

[arthymum]

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night?

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL ) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)?

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's?

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod....

DD's been like that for a couple of days, she either won't sleep for about 5 hours or she wakes up and then 45 mins later she goes back to bed. I think with her the teething has thrown her off and she's just a bit out of sorts. Her naps used to be like clockwork, now they're all over the place!

Great news on the sleep though!

Congrats kiwi, am v v as we've only had one good night this week. DS is now not only teething but also has a stinking cold.

Of course, being a para first time parent, I am taking his temperature every hour just to check it's not swine flu...

Chulita, DS's naps have also gone a bit haywire. He's trying to cut out his late afternoon nap but some days it works and others it doesn't. All of a sudden he seems to be able to go 3 - 3.5 hours between naps rather than the clockwork 2 hours he could manage only a month ago. It's a pita; just when you think you're getting the hang of him, he goes and bloody changes the rules!

Tried to start own thread but with 693 posts you are way ahead. Here was my post:

As a dad in nominal charge of sleeptime, I need help. None of our three DSs is a good sleeper (my genes) but DS3 aged 2 takes the biscuit. Perhaps because we didn't do the controlled crying regime that we did with DS1 and DS2 one of us has to stay in DS3's room until he goes to sleep, often as late as 9pm. If we leave him awake he can happily vault out of his cot and walk downstairs. He then wakes 3-4 times per night. He is cute as chips but we'd rather he went to asleep before the watershed . Any advice?

Oooh a bloke! Hello clarity.

Not sure I can offer much concrete advice as you have waaaay more experience than I do! But have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? It has lots of tips for dealing with older children as well as babes. It's a big MN fave.

Oh, and another MN tip I read which made me pmsl was to put olive oil on your DC's door handle so they can't open their bedroom door!

Hi everyone, I'm here via a tip off from Feralgirl on another thread. Thanks for that. Here's where we're at:
Sometimes my 12 month old baby boy sleeps like, well...a baby. He'll go to sleep on the breast about 6.30pm and sleep til 4 or 5 am then come into our bed for a snuggle, a feed and some more shut eye. Lovely. Happens about 3 times a month.
More often than that, he wakes between 2 and 4 then as above. Thats maybe 5 or 6 nights a month. Most of the time however, he is either poorly or teething and wakes up miserable many, many times a night.
So he's not the worst sleeper but not the best either. I'm awaiting my copy of NCSS but until then, I've devised a radical plan for dealing with his sleep. It totally goes against the grain but....I've decided that until I've read this book, as were not going to change anything I am going to stop worrying about it.
Tonight when he was wriggling and generally not wanting to go to sleep I thought about what I'm having for dinner etc. anything but the fact that he wasn't going to sleep because, I thought, eventually he will! And he did just now, 2 hours after we went upstairs....Anyway, it's probably going to last about 5 minutes but I was wondering if anyone else had tried the Nobody Panic Sleep Solution?
Nice to be in bleary-eyed company

Ha ha! Hello Hairymelons, our paths keep crossing!

I like the idea of the Nobody Panic Sleep Solution

Hello! No sleep, ratty husbands, full time work... we are a pair of regular superwomen.
I think I'm going to turn the NPSS into a book. Anyone want to be one of my guinea pigs? If you sign up, I can GUARANTEE that in just 10 years time you will be worrying about something else entirely. That's what I keep telling myself anyway

Love the olive oil tip btw, tee hee. It's up there with bribing a toddler with hot chocolate to get them off the boob!

Hairymelons - I love that - in 10 years I'll be worrying about something else! So true! We had had a good run of DD just doing two wakes ups but last night was the worst she's been since newborn. Awake from 9.40 until 12.30 crying and feeding on and off. I had eaten a truckload of blue cheese at lunchtime and wondered if that might be it...? She seemed to be in pain...? Or - she had devoured some mango in the morning. Anybody else have issues with mango? (More casting around for reasons). Am adopting the NPSS.

Fufu; teef grief perhaps?

DS is the same at the moment. Howls when I BF him, howls when I lay him down to change nappy, howls at the dinner table, wakes up howling, goes to sleep howling... It's tedious to say the least.

I was wondering therefore, is it OK to wear an ipod all day while you're caring for your baby? I know he's crying because I can see, do I also have to listen to it at full volume, all the bleedin' time?

I shit you not, this NPSS is working. After the Friday night when it took 2 hours to get him down, he woke for a couple of minutes around 3am then went back to sleep until 8.45!! Last night, he slept from 7.30 until 4.45am. If I wasn't such a lazy tramp, I would have attempted to settle him back down in his cot. As I am one, I staggered back to our bed with him where he gnawed on me for a couple of hours, so not very restful for me but not bad at all....
I can feel that lovely, false sense of security coming on...
Feralgirl- I-pods, yes. Genius. Wish I'd thought of that months ago.
Fufu- sounds like teething to me too, that's always the worst time for my LO. He's usually fine after about 1am but suffers badly before then.

FG!! i have been awful recently, haven't faced the sleep threads as have been taking the 'bury my head in the sand solution'....however, it really feels like i'm stepping back in time to when ds was a newborn. last night, down for night at 7, awake at 9.30, 11.30, 1.30, 3.30, 5, 7.... - and fed every time! why?? tonight, he's gone down at 7, just woken up at 9.30 for a 40 min feed.

took him to the cranial osteopath on saturday - i really expected to see an improvement! she suggested that we might be having a growth spurt....does that sound right at 7.5 months? or does anyone else think there are high calorie meals i can invent for a very hungry 7.5 month old? is it really so bad to magimix mcdonalds happy meals for 7 month old babies??

You see - I come on MN and every time there's a brilliant idea. NPSS is brilliant - although DD is still rubbish, I care not. And the happy meal idea is fabulous... I reckon I could cut it into finger shapes to stay on track with BLW...

Interesting about the teeth. She has 4 and they didn't seem to cause too much trouble when they popped (at 16 weeks or so - the only thing she's advanced at is something she doesn't have any say in ). But maybe the incisors are causing her grief.

So three feeds last night - bed at 7, feeds at 10, 1 and 4.45 and up for the day at 6. And she was a shocker to settle (v unlike her).

Have a friend who is convinced her superior parenting is the reason for her DD's excellent sleep and am tempted to lie about DD's sleep - but that just propagates the sleep myths! Of the 8 NCT babies - now 2 are sleeping through (11 till 6). But 6 aren't. Hooray. At least when I'm with that crowd I feel normal!

stainesmassif - sorry about your rubbish night. It's the disappointment that's the killer.

Hope everyne has good nights tonight.

fufu - you hit the nail on the head...it's cause i promise myself every day that 'tonight will be the night'. i'm an idiot.

in some respects i have a sense of perspective - i've gone back to work, put ds in his own bedroom and started him on solids in the last six weeks - who wouldn't be pissed off? so if he sleeps in his own room from 7 til 2 then in with me - that's 7 hours in his own room = achievement - rather than 5 hours in with me = failure - as everyone else seems to think!!!

i just have to stop telling other people that are not on this thread about ds and our sleep patterns! noone understaaaaaaaaaaaaaands!!

Staines I had that exact same night about a week ago. And we've had a couple of full on crap ones since as well with loads of feeding but we're back down to two feeds a night now. I think he must've been spurting.

re food, I try to get as much carbs down DS as poss in the evening to help sleep. Potato wedges, polenta, toast, stuff like that. With full fat dairy to boost the cal content; really, DS eats the way that I would if I could! If I were much more anally retentive than I am then I would keep a record of what he eats and how he sleeps to see if there were any correlation but frankly I can't be arsed.

My gran was down this weekend and she told me to "try feeding him at 10pm dear, then he'll sleep through, guaranteed".

Shit! That's the answer then!

Oh, wait.

No it isn't COZ I DID THAT FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND IT DIDN'T WORK YOU DAFT OLD BAT.

FG re your g'ma - i had a similar conversation with mil earlier today (she is lovely) she said 'now, we need to work out why he's waking up'.....really? cause i don't think about much else and i haven't come up with a solution yet!!

going to try a dummy tonight. i haven't wanted to use one as thought it was just another rod that you have to get up, find and put back in their mouth, but am willing to try anything at the mo...if it works, i'll be back to post about it, if it doesn't, i'll prob be hiding my head buried up to the neck in sand and posting on the big brother telly addicts thread.

Morning all. Just popping by as things are still quite good with DD so just wanted to wave hello. She's going until 4.30ish now for a feed then (usually) going back to sleep after, which is a big result and a bit thumbs up in favour of a bit of CC [is there an evil-mother emoticon? or possibly a "that'll be years of therapy I'm paying for then" emoticon...]
She'd even started going straight through till the 4.30 one with nary a peep but last couple of nights she's obviously mislaid her watch and woken a few times before, but gone back to sleep without me doing anything.

Naps, on the other hand have gone bonkers. She seems to be tired all morning and rubbing her eyes most of the day. despite getting MORE sleep at night than before. Hmmm.

Hello everyone. Been hiding for the last week or so...what's the point of coming on just to say that we're still on 2/3 feeds a night and my eyes have forgotten how to focus
We do a wait-til-mummy-just-gets-off-to-sleep-then-scream-for-Britain feed anywhere between 10 and midnight, always a 1/2 feed and sometimes a 4 feed. She's usually up at 5 unless she had a 4 feed in which case we can sleep in til half 6. Very occasionally she sleeps til 1, feeds and then sleeps til 6 and I think we've turned a corner and then we're back to the same again. She's been seriously teething for yonks and it doesn't seem to be settling so I don't want to CC if she's actually in pain. [sigh] We need more emoticons I think!
How did the dummy work staines?

Hi all - I just think it is bizarre how similar the babies routines are. Had a good (ish) night last night. Asleep by 6.10, awake for feed at 10.30, awake at 1 and was happy with 10 seconds of patting, feed at 2.30 up for the day at 6.15. And the last couple of days she's dropped a nap and seemingly a feed, so hence the 12 hours at night rather than the 11.30. Maybe? Who knows! I've also started doing the one boob only thing. So last night at the 2.30 feed, she got one boob and then went back down. Other boob was comedy porn star boob by the morning though. Keep hoping one day she'll just sleep through. Ha. Wishful thinking I think.

Ohhhhh, woe woe and thrice woe.

DS had wicked diarrhoea last night and woke umpteen times soaked through with green poo. Had to change his sheets twice and each time he woke it took an eternity to get him back to sleep because he was wide awake after being cleaned from waist to toe.

He's also just about to cut his top teeth so is wailing constantly. Seriously, if they don't come through soon then I am going to have to do something drastic. I don't know what. But something.

see, i think maybe it's worth taking those few steps back to dreadful, because then when your baby starts waking 'only' 2 or 3 times a night, it's suddenly 'not so bad'.

ds down at 7, fed at 10, 2, 4, 6, and i feel okay.....maybe cause i got that four hour stretch in the middle? anyway, FG, feel for you and feral baby, but am hoping that when you return to 2/3 feeds a night you'll feel fantastic! however, i really think the hour before 6 is the killer - if he grants me that hour it makes a world of difference.

hi chulita - nice to see you! pah to dummies. he really doesn't see the point of anything that isn't mum's boob.

Oh, I could just do something horrible to the bloody child!

I've been trying to settle him for two hours. WTF is going on? He normally goes to sleep so easily and twice now this week he's flatly refused to settle in the evening. He's been awake since 4pm so he must be exhausted but you really wouldn't know it to look at him as he is full of beans.

I feed him, he starts to drop off, I put him in bed, he wakes up and is ready to play, repeat to fade...

I love him dearly but honestly, I could sodding well THROTTLE him right now!

oh dear fg - i feel for you....not sure if this is a comfort, but when dh and i last went out, ds wouldn't go down for his auntie, so stayed up and played with her (i was that she had done that - he was up til about 12) - but after that he broke his 5 am waking habit (fingers crossed, i didn't say it out loud, i won't jinx it) so, maybe, just maybe, there's a light??? maybe just let him watch big brother and learn about the world he's becoming part of?

btw, for anyone who momentarily hated me for my smug 'it's not so bad' attitude yesterday - today i felt like i was hallucinating on the way to work - the steering wheel felt too big in my hands. or my hands felt too small. anyway, i was scared i would crash. we should get chauffeurs on the way out of the hospital, not bloody bounty bags.

I'm having a tough time getting baby Chu to go to sleep too...went down fine at 6 but has been up since 8:30 screaming and is now in bed letting out the occasional whine. I'm threaders with it; I've fed her so many times my boobs are drooping down to my belly button and she goes to sleep on me but as soon as I put her in bed she starts screaming again. The in-laws are here too so that's always good, cue 'is she due a feed love?' everytime she screams. Well no actually, I've been feeding her solid since half 8, according to the HV she shouldn't even be having night feeds anymore, she's had 2 Weetabix, sausage, mash, toast, scone and a salad today so she's not hungry, I just walked down the stairs from her last 'feed' and she's screaming cos her teeth hurt and I can't do anything about it and no she isn't due a feed so go away and please don't come back to stay again cos I'm having a crap enough time as it is (but yes, please do the washing up while I sit on my bed in the dark and rant on mumsnet )
Your LO settled yet Feral?