Support thread for those who were under the misguided illusion that their DC would sleep through by six mo - come and join!

[arthymum]

Did you assume that your DC would be sleeping through by the time they were 6 mo - and now you've hit the milestone you realise you were wrong, wrong, wrong as you stagger out of bed 1, 2, 3 times a night?

Do you sometimes can't help but wonder if you'd done things differently (BF/FF/stuck with the dreamfeed/co-slept/put them in their own cot/followed a GF routine/listened to your MIL ) you'd be getting more sleep?

Do you sometimes dread meeting up with other mums with perfect sleepers (especially when said babies are way younger and tinier than yours)?

Are you in a permanent state of confusion and doubt about whether to 'try' something or not (CC, ssh-patt, PUPD, NCSS etc.) but feel it's never the right time (teething, cold, too young) and not sure anyway whether you have the bottle/energy to see it through?

Do you hold out faint hopes that they'll sleep better when they're on solids/when the teeth come through/when they're another pound heavier/when they're in the new gro-bag/when they're on more solids - and each time - wrong again?

Do you mostly cope okay but every now and then feel tired and miserable and sorry for yourself and burst into tears at the postman or get into a petulant fight in Sainsbury's?

Do you secretly fear that you'll be on here in 3 years time, posting about the fact that you haven't slept for nearly 4 years?

Then come and join me! I've seen you lurking on other threads but feel that we need a place to congregate. Share your tears, tantrums, triumphs and tips - and hopefully one by one, we can all eventually disappear off the thread and into the land of nod....

Chulita - Same with my DS and food. I am probably the only Mum in the world who is looking for information about whether babies doing "baby led weaning" can eat too much!

LOL about momormum's BLW gorging! I can send you both some EBM, got a freezer full of the stuff! Seriously, I must've been a cow in a former life...

Hello everyone, may I join you? Have been lurking for a while (am regular on Dec 08 thread) but thought that posting here might jinx things. No such luck! PLus I'm sure they're fed up with me banging on about sleep (or lack thereof) so here I am. Hi mom and row!

DS is 6.5 months old, used to wake once in night (at around 4/5am) for feed. For last 6 weeks it's gone to every 2 hours, and lots of screaming, early morning wakings, etc etc. Not hunger (he's not even hungry when he wakes at 6.30), and he can often settle with dummy or water, but the broken nights are doing me in! I'm also not sleeping when I "could" as I feel that I'll only have to get up soon anyway. Last night had 2 hours sleep and feel ragged.

Deep deep irony - we've been following GF nap and feed times since he was tiny (though his naps have also gone down the swannee) but won't do the letting him cry bit so I feel like we've been constrained by a routine without the benefits.

DS is FF and likes his solids so food not a prob. Am sure teeth aren't helping but haven't seen sign of one at all!

feral - that is really rubbish about your inlaws not properly feeding your baby, it does make you feel that it has ruined all your hard work and I would be annoyed. I would put my son in nursery for this very reason (relatives just never seem to do what you say) but I am lucky that I can afford childcare.

mom - great news that you are down to one feed a night - I hope that it starts to regularly get pushed back to much later - it makes a lot of difference to get a good few hours of sleep under your belt before the madness starts. Regarding the bottle, would you consider giving one bottle of formula a day just to keep up the flexibility of been able to give one when you are not around? I'm starting this now at his afternoon feed as I need to leave him with my hubby sometimes, but as he started with complete refusal I got bored of throwing away breast milk down the sink and thought if it was going to be wasted I may as well use formula and now can't be bothered to go back to expressing. (He still can completely refuse when he fels like it.) I don't think one bottle of formula a day with the rest breast feeds at this age is too bad. But everyone is different so understand if you feel differently!

hi spot!

Sorry to hear about the 2 hourly waking, it's so hard isn't it? and it's so frustrating when you can't get back to sleep, and the heat doesn't help! It's meant to be cooler tonight so hope that helps both of you. I am sure that my son's teeth are giving him trouble as well, I can see the bumps, I can feel them, I can see white bits under the gums at the top of the bumps but the teeth will not break through! It's been like this months now and I'm sure they will just give him trouble until he is 1 when they will finally break through.

Well, we've had a few decent nights and today he has gone down for 2 naps in his bed for pretty much the first time ever....so it seems like a perfect time to go on holiday today so that everything can get mucked up?! Arghhh!

Will post on my return as I'm sure we'll be needing some serious sleep support again!

Row, I'm there with you on the teeth grief.

DS has been crying at BF times for a little while now and I'm pretty sure it's his top gnashers making their presence felt. He woke twice last night, once for a feed and once not hungry but I think because of teeth. I've given him a bit of calprofen tonight so we'll see if that helps; it certainly stopped him thrashing around and screaming when I was feeding him.

Have a lovely holiday mom.

Hello all - good to see some of the babies are getting some good sleeps in. DD is getting steadily worse. Had the worst night ever (check me all dramatic after what feels like half an hour sleep) last night - down at 6.15 awake at 9.15 for half an hour, feed at midnight, awake at 2 for half an hour, feed at 3.30, settle at 4, 4.30 and awake at 5. This whole being awake but not hungry is new for her and not a welcome arrival!

And she seems to have some separation anxiety going on. For ages (it seems like forever) I've been feeding her before bed, winding her and then I put her down in her cot she rolls over and goes to sleep. Not any more. As soon as I leave the room she bursts into heartbreaking, noisy sobs, with tears. As long as she can see me - she'll settle and go to sleep. I didn't even realise how much I appreciated just being able to put her down!

My nice diary of asleep/awake and feed times is now a sprawling mass of scribbles and the pattern that was there is becoming one I don't want to remember!

Ramble, ramble, rant, rant.

This too shall pass.

[sigh] grizzle grizzle grizzle grizzle all of yesterday, all last night, it felt like anyway, with a full blown 30 minute scream session at 9pm and then back to grizzle grizzle grizzle til half 5 when nothing would do except being up to grizzle in mummy's face...or daddy's will do if mummy's too tired and headachey from being up all night argh! I'm soooooo glad I don't remember teething...
So...how's everyone else doing? I haven't been on for a while cos DD had been doing 1 wake-up a night which, while I'd prefer a full 8 hours, I'm not going to complain
fufu I hope you slept a bit better last night?

oh yes we are in full blown teething, well it better be anyway. Screaming at midnight, 2am, 4am, 6am....

alternating between calpol and nurofen but it takes a while to kick in and then I have to get him back off to sleep...he seems ok in the day (apart fom being knackered), the problems really seems to start at midnight. Oh well, hopefully this stage will soon be over...

Hi Chulita - it was back to her usual form last night - bed at 6.15, awake at 10.45 for a feed, 3.15 for a feed and then up at 5.45... Not ideal but a shed load better than the night before. Did you do anything to get baby Chu to one feed a night...? Or did it just happen? Am feeling like I'm getting everything wrong!

I wish I'd done something to get her to 1 feed, she just dropped two night feeds with no warning. I think she's feeling full with weetabix etc during the day and just wakes up the once for a drink...you're not doing anything wrong, we just have tricky babies!
I got told by the HV to drop her night feed does she think I haven't been trying?

helllooooooooo everybody. long time no speak! things reached a low on saturday morning - a week back at work combined with regular 4.30 wakings had me on my knees...plus teefs, plus a cold and conjunctivitis (for ds - passed on to me). oh woe, oh woe....we were supposed to be going to see take that on sunday and i told dh 'what's the point...nothing is fun any more. the only thing i want to do is book into a hotel and go to sleep' i think dh finally started to take it a bit seriously...anyway, we ended up going to see take that (2 hours to get out of the car park - that's another story) but we had a fab time - i remembered that i do actually like h, and he is 'd'....and then ds slept til 4 on sunday night, had a brief feed, slept til 7.30. 7.30!! i know, i am speaking too soon, but what a difference it makes..a couple of nights change your whole perspective. so chin up chickens, our dcs will let us have the occasional stretch of 4 hours and we will feel like new women cause we are so tough!

(ds's first night in his own room tonight - feeling v mixed emotions, hope that we reach the promised land of sleeping through, but so - he is so beautiful and i love to watch him so much!)

anyway, it has given me the strength to post on here again, so big shout outs to fg and chulita, nice to see you again!! how's work fg?

We've had a mixed week. Some nights 3 wakings and others just 1. Getting easier when I put her down. I do try the Pantley-pull-off but we are still at the stage where i pull away just as she is dropping off. It takes 3-4 attempts and then she is asleep. Am trying to do it earlier but she won't have it. Sometimes she will roll over for 3- seconds and try to sleep but she then comes back for some more. I think it is working but very slowly.

Chulita If only it was so esy to 'drop her night feed'. Do they think we wake several times a night for fun?

Co-sleeping helped when it was really hot. I think cos she could roll about and find a cool spot. DH was downstairs so we had bed to ourselves.(brill)

Hi guys, back from a week in Sunny Spain. Having tried the dreaded CC we had DD sleeping through to 4/5am, having a feed, then going back until 7. But since we got back she's been waking up at 5am and screaming until we go get her, then being wide awake. I know lots of babies get up early but DD never has and it just means she's tired and in a filthy mood all day. When we were in Spain all the rooms had REALLY good black out curtains, do you think it could be the light?

I think she's also got the beginnings of separation anxiety, she keeps going mental when I leave the room for a second.

Hi everyone,

I've been trying to rad through this whole thread but have got lost somewhere along the way, so apologies I don't know everyones story. But I would love to join you all if I may?

I have a 1 year old (on Sunday)ds and he is a terrible sleeper. Always has been. We had to resort to cc at 8 months to get him off night time feeds as I was going back to work and needed SLEEP! After three nights he was going from 7 - 6 happily. But one week later, teething and a cold set in and its been hell ever since.

Recently he won't go down well at 7 - something we never hada problem with. As soon as a lie him down (we do the bath, milk, cuddle routine) he sits up, stands up and screams. It can take an hour t oget him to lie down.

Then he wakes in night and SCREAMS uncontrollably. I have been a very bad mother and resorted to giving him a bottle of milk, which may or may not set him back to sleep... but it at least stops him screaming!

I feel like this will never end. I am so tired - I work full time and can hardley function! My ds is such a happy boy during the day and I can honestly say he has NEVER cried during the day time - he is in a routine and naps OK (one nap after lunch). He jsut LOVES being awake and HATES being alseep.

Is there anything I can do to stop this???

hi nobbyD - am impressed by anyone who would take on a 26 page thread. am afraid i don't have any tips for you though - ds is still 7 months and i'm sure i've still got it all to come - he is very active too and hates to miss out by sleeping...welcome anyway!

hi everyone, just popping on to update the thread as I've not been on for a month or so. Well, ds finally is sleeping more than the fabled 6 hours - mostly! (not last night though)

He is 10 months, and 2 weeks ago started crawling, sitting up and pulling to standing. This coincided with us changing tactics and reintroducing the dream feed at 11pm. Not sure if those things had any effect but now he mostly sleeps til 6 am -ish thereafter.

I hope it continues as going back to work soon. I think he just got to the age at which he no longer needed to wake up every 2-3 hours

Now I just have to get him to sleep without bfing otherwise my childminder will go spare

Hello all esp Nobby, sorry you're having such a tough time. Hopefully just a phase? I don't think you're being a bad mother by giving him a bottle to get him back to sleep. You do what you gotta do, right? Needs must and all that...

Staines, work is OK, stressful as ever and juggling being a teacher and being a mother is hard but it's been better than I thought it would be. How about you? for getting to see Take That btw. And also hurrah for baby staines's good sleeps. Long may it last coz by god you deserve it!

However, my life would be a whole lot better if DS hadn't chosen this week to start teething so Chulita I am feeling the pain when you describe the constant grizzling. It's hell. And DS has regressed to pretty much where we were 3 months ago. On Thursday and Friday nights he woke up every hour from 1.30 onwards.

He's not just waking from pain though as he's dosed to the gills with calpol ; he's actually gone back to needing to be fed in the night. It's obviously hurting him to suckle so he's not taking full BFs and he needed feeding 3 times last night. I eventually gave up and had him in bed with me.

Thank GOD the school term ends on Friday. I honestly don't think I could have managed any more than 3 weeks work!

I'm with you fg, baby Chulita wanted 3 feeds last night. I know she used to have 8-12 feeds a night but thankfully those days are a dim memory now - waking up once is more than enough but thrice puts me on my ass! I'd pay good money for a full, undisturbed night's sleep She hasn't done her screaming fit today so we've risked putting her in bed without Calpol - having read all the asthma risks I hate using it but sometimes it's the only thing that keeps her quiet! Hopefully her teeth are settling and we'll get a better sleep [hopeful]

Chulita, after reading your post, I was just thinking about exactly how much I would pay for a full, undisturbed night. Definitely £50. Would I stretch to £100? I know that at 3.30am I would happily sell my soul, my shoe collection, and everything else I love (including DS!)

A friend was moaning to me the other day about her teething 1yo DS. She said that she hadn't had a full night's sleep in three weeks and then looked at me like she expected sympathy! I rather shortly told her that I hadn't had a full night's sleep since December 1st so I definitely won that little competition.

Had a full nights sleep on Friday, just decided to get in bed with her and not try to move her into cot. DP moved her at 4am and she didn't murmur abd finally woke up at 7.

Don't worry she woke up last night at 2 and then again at 6.30.

Also still feeding to sleep and for naps as well.

feralgirl - thanks for that. I keep getting told that what I am doing is so wrong and will lead to worse problems and makes me feel terrible. Have resigned myself to not listen to anyone again and go by my instincts - it won't last ha ha!

Chulita - I too would pay good good money for ds to sleep through the night. Me and dp were battling with how much we would give each other to get up with him this morning. Dp offered me a thousand pound so I did get up - not sure I'll ever see the money!

DS had his first birthday on Sunday - party on Sat. He didn't nap the entire day so I stupidly thought he's make up for it in the night. But no - he is waking every hour, sometimes will go two hours. He hasn't been screaming for milk though so we have managed to stop that one. But he just can't seem to settle himself. Resorted to having him lie in bed with me at 4am (having been up at 9pm, 10pm, 12am, 2am)and I got an extra couple of hours but I can't really say I slept too well as ds lies in the most awkward of places and I can't move him or he'll wake up so I'm just hanging on end of bed, no covers, eyes closed hoping I will nod off eventually!

So do I now need to start a thread for one year olds who don't sleep through the night yet??

Hey guys, been away from mumsnet for a while as DH had four days off work, which was lovely and restful for me

DD is still sleeping much better - now goes until 4.30 (pretty much exactly) from 7 which is fantastic compared to a month or so ago. Is very patchy after that but never mind, we're getting somewhere!

Odd thing the last few days though, she seems permanently tired. No signs of illness that I can see, and when she's not tired she's on great form, but this morning she was up at 7, down again at 8.45, woke up after 40 mins still tired and is now asleep again. Very out of character. Any suggestions??