NEW Support thread for those non sleeping toddlers 18-24 months!!

[andyrobo237]

Just thought I would start a support thread -no hostility in here, jsut good old plain advice and friendly support for all us suffering with poor sleeping kiddies!

DS is 21 months and luckily I can get him to start the night in his cot, and he sleeps for 3-5 hours on his own, and then he wakes up asking for me, so for an easy life, and yes I like the snuggles, he comes in with us. He will then sleep until 7am when we get up. He eats ok and has one sort nap in the day (less than an hour), and has a run around after tea, and then we do the following (for we read I as DH is a waste of space!):

Between 6 - 6.30pm bath with big sister - lots of fun and splashing and have to prize him out

6.30 - 6.45 he is given his beaker of milk downstairs and he drinks what he likes

6.45 - 7pm he goes in his grobag on my knee and we read, he snuggles and has more of his milk - sometimes drinks it all, or leaves a bit

7pm - take him to his room - he happily goes. I put him in cot, kiss, and then sit in the chair in his room with low light, no speaking (I read a book) and within 10 mins he is asleep

7.10 or so - creep out, pull door to and go downstairs to DD who is 6

I used to have a bath around 9 to 9.30 but he would always wake after that, so I have a quick shower after their bath, so I dont disturb him!

He has been waking around 12am these past few days, previously it was 10.30 to 11 ish, so at least we have gained an hour of peace! He wakes up stands up in cot and shouts for me, which if you ignore becomes a cry and sobbing, which fortunately doesnt wake his sister usually. I then bring him into our bed and he settles until 6.30 to 7am, when we get up.

He is not tired when we get up and we get up the same time every day even weekends as DD has early morning activities. I just cant get him to stay in his own bed longer. Have tried the early evening routime again (without the milk) and he does appear to go back to sleep, but when I move he springs up!!!

THis is not as bas as what some people have to cope with, but it is not what we want, I needmy sleep and prefer to have half a kingsize bed not the corner!

We will support eachother and get these toddlers to sleep better!!!

You're all so wonderful. Thanks for not 'outing' me on this thread and alerting the other lovely ladies to the amount of times we have had this conversation...

What other times? First I've heard of it!

I think I was on this thread at a low point a few days ago
Well a few days ago i went completely against my instincts and left him to cry, poppping in every half hour or so to say "Night night, love you " (yes, fake grins under the tears). More often than half an hour would just excite him / wind him up). It was hell. Absolute hell and I felt awful. He cried all night I think apart from a few 20 minute periods.
The next night I was dreading it and it wasn't that bad! Yes, I have read other people writing this and never believed it. Cant remember the details but I think we've had 3 nights since then and he now

• can settle himself within 5 minutes of being put to bed
• wakes once or twice a night (sometimes about 11pmish and 3ish) for a feed which I'm happy to give him
• spends the whole night in his cot! This morning he was still snoozing at 7am

It's very early days but all 3 of us have had a decent nights sleep for the first time in 18mo.

I have half heartedly tried cc in the past, but don't think I could have stuck to it before now - I do now feel that he understands enough to know that we love him, haven't abandoned him and that we just need him to sleep.

Anyway...one week ago I would have said he was a child that cc wouldn't work for - I couldn't have done it before now and still wish i hadn't had to but...it worked.

Pink--I have to agree with LG&T (you know I'm a member of the mean mom brigade)

Put her in her crib, and leave her to it. Don't soothe her from outside, just let her deal with her own feelings by herself.

I am right on the end of the age scale but can i still join? DS2 was 24 months a few weeks ago and the ony times he has slept through is when he's been dosed up with Calpol night when he's had a cold or something similar.

He doesn't sleep in the day but in the night he wakes at anytime really, no pattern and thats it he is awake for the day regardless of the time it could be 2am or 4am.

He screams and screams and on the 2 ocassionas i have felt brave enough to just leave him to it he has thrown up after nearly 4 hours of constant blood curdling screams.

He has never slept well even as a little baby.

Im a tried mum - get me out of here!

You see, for every StealthPolarBear there's a CharleeinChains to change my mind!!!!

Definitely try the Wake To Sleep method. It is tough for a week, but I haven't looked back.

Really? But she doesn't really stay asleep long enough for me to get back in there!

I agree! Whenever we've left DS in the past I was seriously worried about that sort of thing. This time the situation felt different, don't know why but I suppose that's the point I was making - if it's not right then it's not right!
last time we tried it DS eventually went to sleep lying over his toy hedgehog, when we woke him in the morning (he hadn't been left all night, this was just from the last time) hi face was covered in snot and he was still angry. Still breaks my heart thinking about it.

Stealth, your story both inspires and horrifies me in equal parts.

oh dear
I feel like a dreadful mother

The leaving him t cry part is all very well but i also have my poorly 4yr old ds in the same room as him who really needs his sleep!

No, no I didn't mean that SPB - I just mean horrifies me in a sense of foreboding of what to expect tonight. I applaud you for sorting it out, the lack of sleep is a killer.

Oooh, isn't it interesting how touchy this subject is!

I did use the crying it out method with DS1 though (although i now feel bad for it after him being diagnosed with cf)

He was nowhere as bad as ds2 is though ds2 makes a right dong and dance of things at night.

I did use the crying it out method with DS1 though (although i now feel bad for it after him being diagnosed with cf)

He was nowhere as bad as ds2 is though ds2 makes a right dong and dance of things at night.

Sorry, that was obviously meant to be for those that have lo's waking at regular times at night. It's worth remembering if for later though

Well done stealth, 3 nights is fab and as long as you stay consistent from now on you shouldn't have a problem again. It's easy to become complacent when you think they've crakced it.

I sometimes leave DS to cry on occasions where he is crying cos is he so overtired. I usually go back in every 5 or 10 mins though to shhh him or stroke his head or whatever.

Hope you manage to get it sorted Pinkjenny. Mine has never been as bad as yours - co sleeping usually worked fine (ahh shouldn't be talking in past tense, 3 days is not a new habit!) as DS wanted to sleep during the night, but feed lots. The odd occasion where he did wake up at say 2am and was wide awake were killers

I'll report back in the morning. Think of me tonight!!!

You will be fine Pink Phone if you need me, i mean it. I will make you laugh through the tears. If your mum will support you by all means phone her BUT DO NOT phone her if she is going to make you feel bad and go in to Alexa. Avoid M at all costs, you can do without withering unhelpful looks.

Stealth well done you! Do NOT feel badin the slightest, your ds now has a good nigths sleep and is in a familiar pattern. Like MrsJB says stick with it and you wont look back

Charleen my ds has been known to throw immense hissy fits and be sick, it sounds terrible but you must just clean him up and put him back. I appreciatie this can be exhausting and soul destroying but there are some children out there who will keep this kind of habit up. My husband was one such child. He would be saying 'im going to be sick, i' going to be sick' whenever he was made to do something he didnt want. Even at Playschool they are clever and will play you.

Go in and reassure him every so often and hopefully this will stop the tantrum escalating. It does with B.

Now come on Pink, you can do it

Oh blimey, I am loving the stern words here. I just need to face the awful few nights before it gets better.
But since we are moving hosue in 3 weeks, doesn;t seem any point in starting now. Then I will go for the sofabed in room idea, so DS can get used to sleeping on his own but with me nearby perhaps (and one of us can sleep).
I shall watch with interest and make a plan!

Pinkjenny does she have ALL her teeth yet? Molars and canines are off-the-scale awful and yes, coming downstairs and being woke up fully and watching TV are HUGE distractors from the pain in the mouth. I would try pain killers before controlled crying, but that's just me.