Giving Up Dummy

[Becky77]

OK so I keep reading that the best time to get rid of a dummy is 12 weeks as after that they for dependancy or something! My DD is now 13.5 weeks and uses a dummy to settle herself to sleep only. What I want to know is how long it'll take to wean her off it... How horrible it'll be and is it worth it seeing as she only uses it for sleeping? Oh and how do you settle a baby without forming some other settling dependancy ie rocking, singing, patting?

Thoughts please... Thanks

I think I'll just leave it and see how she goes for the next week, no doubt it wont be a permenant fixture She had been waking gradually later for her feed so it seems like a natural progression. But if she starts waking at 5 or 6am for a feed I'll put the 3am feed back in otherwise she definitely wont want her breakfast!

Sorry your night was so awful Gabster, you must be exhausted

I know what you mean about early nights. It is sometimes a pain waiting to do the dream feed, although you can get away with doing it at 10.30 rather than wait til 11.

Also, we do this feed with formula, so DH usually does it and I turn in earlier. The nights when he's not here, I do struggle to stay up for it. HV advised that DD "should" be able to go from 7.30pm to 7am without any food, so we dropped the dream feed one night and she woke up to eat at 1am, so we went back to dream feeding.

How old was your DD when the HV advised you that ElmMum?

It was about 2 weeks ago, so 3.5 months. Tbh, I like my HV but she does come out with some absolute crap. When I'd just had DD I used to take more notice because it was all new. Now I feel like I know more about my DD than HV does, so I take her advice with a pinch of salt. I knew that DD wasn't ready to go 12 hours without eating but that doesn't mean yours won't. Think you have to trust your instinct on these things.

Last visit HV was all "shall I book you into a weaning group" and giving me advice about what solids to feed etc. So I said "are you advising that I wean her early, then" (given that DD was only 3.5 months) and she goes "Oh no, I wouldn't advise weaning until she's 6 months old")???!!!

Hmmmm Elmmum - very interesting! Maybe she MEANT to say SOME babies??

It is difficult to tell with my DD really ElmMum... She is such a placid baby that it is hard to tell when she's hungry. During the day I feed her every 3 hours to be safe but she doesn't feed for long. But she is a very healthy size and weight, she's big for her age. Plus she's always been a sleepy baby so I'm not shocked that she's now sleeping for 12 hours at a time, but I guess with your first you always worry about everything!

I know what you mean. I've been trying not to read too many books as it just muddles my brain up and then I'm not sure whether I'm reading her signs right or not, but I have had a look at the Baby Whisperer and she reckons if your baby is waking up at the same time every night it's a habit, if it's random times in the night it's hunger. But she doesn't advocate then feeding when the baby wakes up. Instead, just up the amount of feeding during the day and the waking up should stop. Or tanking up before bed.

Granted, that's easier when you're bottle feeding but if you're still exclusively BF, then I guess putting DD on the boob more frequently should increase your supply and mean less waking in the night?

It is difficult to know how much she's getting due to BFing but I'm really not worried about that as she's gaining weight really well. If anything I worry that she's gaining too much!

Perhaps the fact that my LO is big makes it easier for her to sleep for longer? I'm sure I've read in several places that weight gain is more important to their sleeping than age?

Makes sense. DD was big at birth (9lb 15oz) and has always been able to sleep 4 or 5 hours at night time. When she was very little we worried about letting her go for 5 hours at night and would wake her up to feed her as HVs and MWs kept saying you mustn't let them go that long. Reckon if it hadn't been our first baby, we'd have ignored that and let her sleep as long as she liked! She clearly wasn't starving! Think she must be over 16lbs now.

LOL at wanting to wake her ElmMum! I did exactly the same thing in hospital - Nurses/MWs all laughed at me big time too. My baby friend used to actually get her DS up and change his nappy every 3 hours without fail, even through the night until MW stepped in. Like you say, when its your first ....

Gabster, that's hilarious! My heart always sinks when I'm dream feeding DD or when we used to feed her in the night, and you'd hear the unmistakeable wet farting sound of a great big poo! No option but to change nappy and risk her waking up for a good old play.

DH used to involuntarily twitch the mobile above her changing table and I'd leap at him in a slow-mo rugby style tackle "nooooo", "don't make eye contact!!!!"

I can currently hear DD grizzling as MIL tries to settle her for a nap . She's doing her pathetic whimpering.

That's OK - let her sort it and make the most of not having to settle for naps (my all time pet hate). My LO has just taken 30m to settle, although I went in after 20m and found him wedged diagonally across the cot again - apparently trying to remove the bumper (got two strings undone) I only put back on this morning because he banged his head on the bars in the night and cried (took it off because of SIDS worry etc).

I suspect this is another phase starting.

Oh Joy

Well, DD is down for the night. Hoping for a 3rd night of sleeping through til 7am (give or take the odd very brief wake up). Will start to believe it might actually be an established routine. Just in time for trip to Italy next week to throw it all off!

Naps are not going well though. Nap 1 today - 45 mins, nap 2 - 30 mins, Nap 3 45 mins. Oh well.

Have a good evening all.

Good luck ElmMum. Our LO went down at 6pm again after a day of odd naps... She fell asleep on my lap whilst feeding for the first time in ages. Who knows what tonight will hold

@ Gabster - I hope ur night tonight is easier than last night

My dss both gave up their dummies at 2.5. They gave them to Father Christmas iun exchange for a toy limo (no accounting for taste!). One asked for it once but there were no tears or tantrums.
If the dummy settles your baby keep the dummy, it will make the first couple of years so much more bearable.

Hi everyone. Another crap lunch nap but apart from that, we are doing well. I woke up at 7.10am this morning, went in and she was just waking. She was shattered tonight and alseep by 6.25am (hope she doesnt wake early!).

Becky - I would be inclined to do the dream feed. As you said, growth spurts etc are imminent. If you do the dream feed, she is more likely not to wake during the night when these happen.
Hope everyone has a good night.

Thanks pudding25... Well last night was plain weird. After a day of odd naps... I think she may have messed up her body clock slightly as she woke at 9.15pm crying... she wasn't very hungry but I fed her and put her back down... then she woke again at 1am... same thing, not very hungry but crying and wanting to get up so I fed her and put her back down... more crying but eventually settled herself. Then she slept until 7am.

Do you think it sounds like her body clock is askew (her longest nap yesterday was from 2pm-3.45pm) or the start of her 4 month growth spurt?

How was everyone else's nights?

Becky - not sure what that's all about. Starting to think it's a fool's game to try and strive for a routine or a full night's sleep. Just makes all the waking up even worse.

We had a crap night (although DH thought it was okay as he only noticed the first and last wakings). DD woke at 2.30, 3.30, 3.50, 4.20, 5.30 and 6.00. Oh dear. Each time she just settled right back down. Eventually got her up at 7.20 after listening to her burble for 20 mins and thinking "just 1 more minute and I'll get up". Don't think my bed has ever felt so comfy .

She did have rubbish naps yesterday (nothing longer than 40 mins or so), so perhaps just out of sorts.

Think she's also teething. Definitely moving her tongue around over her gums yesterday and doing this funny little thing with her mouth like she's chewing tobacco!

Hey all.

Well aren't we all doing pants on the nap front then? We had the 30/35m nap thing all day yesterday too, but predictably so after such a poor night's sleep.

Last night was a bit better (looks like you had our bad night ELmmum, sorry) but today DS refused morning nap and went down OK lunch-time to wake after 55m. Went in after 5m crying to make sure he was OK and then worked hard at ignoring hím for 10 and I think he is finally back to sleep - who knows for how long.

Hey Pudding, sounds like you are doing well in the nightime. Congrats!

TBH, Becky, does sound to me like your LO is trying to adjust her routine a bit. But like Elmmum says, lots of growth spurts around right now and we all know how these things play havoc with routines/sleep. The 4m one is a killer!!

Right, all quiet here so going to finally put my feet up before I make DS's dinner.

G

Thanks for your input guys. I'm happy to keep the milk bar open all night when the time comes!

Right we're off to see a cranial osteopath this afternoon... I wonder if it'll do anything for her other than a nice head massage! At least it's pay by donation!

Hope you all have relaxing afternoons

Naps have been better today. 45 mins at 9am, and then 2 hours from 11.50 to 1.50. Annoyingly I didn't sleep at the same time. I just kept thinking she'll be awake in a minute. She did surface after 45 mins or so grizzling but I held her hand til she went back to sleep.

Yayay. Will be interesting to see if that makes any difference to the quality of the night sleeping. Hope so.

Roll on another day. I'm still in my dressing gown and have had a standing up (silent) lunch of an entire pack of ham, a yoghurt and some oatcakes (crinkly packet opened as quietly as possible in the hallway with a pair of scissors!). I think I'm going to look back on all this and think I was mad!

@ ElmMum - Haha I soooo know that feeling. I have to get my lunch ready mid morning before DD goes down otherwise I have to starve... I've just put everything ready for dinner in the oven so I don't disturb her cooking in the kitchen once she's gone down for the night... Funny how I never noticed how everyting crinkles so noisely before!

She's just had a 3rd nap - just half an hour this time. Now I'm worried that because we've spent the day inside and she hasn't had any fresh air today, she won't sleep. Half tempted to bung on some clothes and walk down to the seafront to give her a blow of air (yes, I'm still in my dressing gown !

Don't worry I didn't get out of my pyjamas at all yesterday

DD's naps were back to normal today (2 long ones and one half an hour in the afternoon) although I had to wake her a bit early from the first two as we were going out... Hopefully that'll put her back on track tonight... If not I fear the 4 month growth spurt may be upon us.

Hey Pudding - how are you getting on?

Well done on the naps Elmmum. Keeping my fingers' crossed for you for tonight. And of course I'm .

I used to make my lunch when DS had his AM nap too! It is easier now with weaning though, as I have breakfast with DS (prepare mine when I'm doing his) and often same for lunch. Trouble is I'm putting weight on again now I am eating!! (and I think my secret love of baby rice is not helping as is in no way low fat!).

And I'm sure I still would stay in my PJs some days if it wasn't for having to walk the dog! And as for making noise, today I sat for ages with the TV off bursting for the loo but not daring to move for waking DS from his lunch nap!!

Must say though that we have found as long as it is within the first 30m of him falling asleep, you can make quite a lot of noise and not wake DS e.g. empty dishwasher, roumage in freezer and use oven. Not sure if this is unusual or not but certainly is handy - otherwise would never get any washing done (w/m and tumble drier in basement under DSs room!).