urgent cc advice need - just put dd in bedroom to cry it out...

[mamachat]

have been trying to put dd in cot for past 2hours as need to tidy up etc befotre bed, so have now decided to let her cry it out.

how often should i check on her and what should i say or do when i enter the room

Hi mama chat, I'm in same position with ds2 who is 14 mths today.
Used to fall asleep breastfeeding but now doesn't.First thing in evening have had to start putting him down awake but tired and leaving him to cry it out for maybe 5 - 10 mins. I find that he just revvs up even more if I go back in and tbh picking him up doesn't actually comfort him, just cries even more.
Main problem is between 12 and 2 am when he wakes up crying every single night. I b'feed him in bed but he continues to cry even afterwards, starts crawling over DH and myself. As this has been going on mths and is really starting to affect us both mentally and emotionally, particularly at work, I've had to put him back in cot in own room and left him to cry. After 20 mins last night he finally fell asleep until 5.30am which is better than nothing. CC worked for DS1 and he is an excellent sleeper and emotionally very secure in himself, certainly not 'emotionally damaged' but DS2 is just a different kettle of fish. We've tried everything, pick up put down, patting him to sleep, but nothing seems to work apart from this. I know that during the day DS2 gets plenty of love and affection, he is a happy child generally. So really what I am saying is do what feels right to you. Good luck. Louise

I was in a similar position to you (baby would only sleep if bf) and I tried a gentle cc method ... it didn't work at 13 months, or 15 months but it did at 20 months and she has slept solidly ever since. So maybe try again in a couple of months and see how it goes.

I so know where you're coming from I was shattered too! Only thing that got me through it was having a nap in the day when she napped

louise - gosh your situation sounds terrible, some babies are just frustrated i think my dd and your ds sound similar,hope things improve for you...

dd is asleep in my bed, she fell asleep while bf at around 8.30 but i did not manage to leave my bed untill 9.30 as she woke everytime i moved... she is always hard work but not always such a light sleeper. She then woke up around 10 and i had to bf to sleep again...

Hi Mamachat, sorry its not getting any easier for you. Have you got a plan, or seeing how things go?

Its so hard, last night LO woke up at 12, 4, 4.30 and 5. I have her cuddle each time and put her back in her cot, but couldn't have her waking her sister up each time, so ended up taking her in with me, and I was so tired put her in bed and bf

Don't feel like I've gotten anywhere either.

Do you put her in bed awake, or try to get her to sleep first?

Mamachat- you should look at the baby whisperer. The ssh pat pick up put down does work if you are consistent with it. It wont work if your child is unwell or you are inconsistant. It is so tough I do understand, we had a terrible time with dd1. Please dont leave her to cry there are other solutions.

well not sure what i am doing at the moment, objectivity from mn said she does sleep training and could help me but I am waiting to hear when she is available as is on holiday at the moment.

Spoke to my HV who recommended a book called my child wont sleep but can't find it in the libary and do not want to buy it ashave already bought a few sleep training books... But it is a cc book.

Hey mamachat - I was totally against CC but in the end did it out of total desperation. Was getting sick from the lack of sleep and DS was always grumpy. I had already tried pu/pd and the no cry sleep solution but had no joy. I got through it by deciding never to do regular checks and to never let DS cry longer than half an hour in total. If he did I just breast fed him back to sleep as normal but that only happened once and it only took a few days. Now he sleeps brilliantly and the difference it has made to everyone is unbelievable. I hope you find a solution soon.

are you coping OK Mamachat?

I think with CC the key is to put them down awake - the aim is for the baby to learn to settle themselves.

With my LO, at about 10 months, I did a sort of withdrawal method. She goes down fine mostly, but its the night wakings which have me stumped.

Anyway, if you need any support, I'm around and in the same boat!

can the library not order the book for you?

ok, I'm now doing my own method, I stopped bf dd yesterday as she is only waking to bf, last night she only woke 3times even though it was for ages at a time instead of a few mins... but i think she is starting to accept that we are not going to bf any longer, she did not even try to get milk this morning...

hows it going?

Hiya its going really well, last couple of nights dd slept from around 9pm untill 7am - I'm amazed...

But she is in my bed, so I now need to figure out how I will manage to get her in her own room and her own bed, and eventually going to sleep alone...

Sounds like alot but I am very happy with the progress we have made so far...

It is great not to be bf all night long... Also she is much better behaved during the day as she is not constantly whinging to bf

I feel I can now enjoy being with her just like all my family do, as she knows I have no milk to give

sounds fantastic!!!!!really good progress!

Good luck, it is hard work.

Re the crying out, I always leave DD2 to whinge for a bit, it makes her worse if I go in and mess around. Sometimes they need to be left to cry, especially when they are overtired, it is not going to mentally disturb them. It just depends on how long you leave them for though.

People have their own reasons for not doing it but if anyone dared to be critical of me leaving my child to cry for her own sake, I would ask them to come here and see to her for me. I would guarantee they would end up with a lively 1 year old up until midnight. Life is always easier when it is not you having to deal with it.