Nearly two year old naps well at nursery but not at home - it’s nearly 3pm!?

[Bobbinz]

DS is nearly 22 months old. He naps amazingly at nursery, for around 1.5-2 hours, and they somehow get him to sleep by 12pm.

At home, we’re really struggling with nap time if we’re at home. He just resists it! It’s 2:35pm and he still hasn’t fallen asleep.

(He will nap if we’re on a long pram walk or a long car journey that has been timed for around 12pm.)

But what do we do with these naps at home now? Surely he’s too young to drop the nap but does it mean we just have to be in the car or on a walk for him to have his nap now?

Also - he should be shattered! His bedtimes have been getting later; it used to be a solid 8:15, more recently moving to 9, but last night was 9:30! Why won’t he sleeeeep?!

I think it's definitely sign that he's ready to limit sleep - either through limiting night sleep and keeping a nap, or dropping the nap entirely.

i Would keep the nap at nursery and drop it at home. They adjust! If he’s up later that’s a sign that the nap is on its way out

Nap times on the way out.

Don't let him sleep now, keep him up and early bed time.

Do you get him up at the same time as his nursery days? I find the earlier wake up and more tiring day makes it easier for them to nap.
When my toddler wakes up later we shift hes nap by the same amount of time.

It’s very common, mine is same age and always does an earlier/ longer nap at nursery. At home sometimes she’ll nap but most days we plan to be walking or in car in middle of day, or i walk round the block til shes asleep then leave her in the garden. I’d rather she has a shorter nap anyway as makes bedtime earlier

What are you doing that’s different to nursery for nap time ? Does he get up at the same time and go to bed the same time
on the weekend as a weekday ??

How often is he at nursery? If he’s napping 3-5 days out of 7 it could just be enough for him. Generally it’s not 7 days of 2hr naps and then no naps, it’s a transitional thing.

Kids are kids.

He's not necessarily too young to drop his nap. My eldest dropped before he turned 2, and youngest dropped his just after.

It's very common they drop a nap at home before nursery. At nursery they have more stimulation and the encouragement of other kids napping.

If bedtimes are getting harder and later, I'm not sure why you are forcing the nap?! Just drop the nap and get bedtimes right! I would much rather have no nap and an easy(er) bedtime.

There is witchcraft at nursery. Does yours also eat vegetables and food they wouldn’t touch at home?

I would just have a pram walk or car journey. Pain I know but not many 1 year olds are ready to drop the nap.

He’s probably busy all of the time at nursery and not so much at home.

Thanks for all the messages! To answer some questions…

He’s at nursery for four days. At home he does wake up a little later, for example today it was closer to 8am than his usual 7-7:15. .

He was absolutely shattered yesterday afternoon. He slept from 3:10-4:10 and was incredibly grumpy for a couple of hours after we woke him. He then fell asleep at 9:50pm! 🙈

I’ve just said to DH we need to start using an alarm for 7-7:15am on the non-nursery days, I think that’ll be a good place to start. And then maybe some more physical activity in the mornings somehow to try to tire him out?!

Ironic username for your comment...

Is there a reason you want to keep the nap? Why don't you let him sleep as long as he wants in the morning, don't make him nap and get him to bed at a sensible time in the evenings? If you do want a nap, you need a hard cut off (Ours was 2pm which then inched forward the harder it was getting them to sleep at night) I'm not surprised bedtime was after 9pm if he slept til after 4pm!

You just seem to be going out of your way to put so much in place to try to force him to nap.
You’re just going to have to accept that pretty soon he just won’t nap.
Setting an early alarm and waking a nearly 2 year old just so you can keep their tired enough to nap just seems weird.

My second is 23m and we've asked nursery to cap her naps at 1 hour and are doing the same at home. Bedtime was getting too late for us. She's gone back to napping at home and bedtime not being as bad as she's shattered! I also usually do all the usual of take her out in the morning and post naps and minimal screens, make sure she's full before bedtime, yada yada yada. If mine refuses to nap post 2, then she's just in it for the long haul till bedtime!

Really, @Honeyhonayboo and @Cindy1802? Everything I’ve read online says that this age is far too soon for him to stop napping. It’s also quite unfair to call my parenting weird. I’m posting on a parenting site to ask for support around my child’s sleep - entirely normal.

I would also posit that the fact he merrily sleeps for up to two hours (sometimes beyond) at nursery is not the sign of a toddler who needs to drop the nap…

Definitely getting ready to drop their nap… children don’t read the books, they don’t know when they’re supposed to do things. I would try for a nap at 12/12.30 on home days, if it’s a battle then just let him stay up and do an earlier bedtime. Definitely don’t set alarm just so you can then try and get a nap in.

My kids all dropped their naps around age 2. We used to have a quiet time instead.

Not necessarily. Mine was having two hours at nursery but bedtimes were a nightmare. I asked them to make it shorter but it didn’t make much difference. So I asked them to cut it completely, he’s managed absolutely fine. Literally no issues other, he just goes to bed easier and earlier now. He would happily sleep for up to three hours at home if I let him, but I don’t because I don’t want him going to bed at 11pm at night. The fact he is resisting a nap at home and doing to bed late shows you he’s getting enough sleep. Just keep the nursery nap and drop it at home apart form when it happens naturally or if he’s easy to put down at 12 because you can tell he’s tired. Go off what he is telling you rather than what you’ve read online.

So what should I do if/when he falls asleep at 3pm?

Actually it very well could be. Rarely does a toddler go from a 2 hour nap every day to zero nap any day, it’s a gradual transition. It’s very likely he doesn’t need 7 naps a day and gets enough sleep on the nursery days when he’s more active during the day.
You have to ask yourself if you’re having to make this much of an effort to get your child to nap, perhaps they just don’t need it.

Where did you read 2 is early to drop naps?

I had one who napped til 3 and one who dropped from 18 months on some days. By 2 he would usually have one nap a week at my mums on a Friday, she was the nap whisperer! The rest of the time he powered through and even 10 mins in the car meant he was up til 10pm.

I'd try and relax a bit, if he doesn't sleep at home, that's fine, he can go to bed earlier. On nursery days he can still nap.

Good luck, it's a tricky time. My experience of 2 kids says try and relax.