Nearly two year old naps well at nursery but not at home - it’s nearly 3pm!?

[Bobbinz]

DS is nearly 22 months old. He naps amazingly at nursery, for around 1.5-2 hours, and they somehow get him to sleep by 12pm.

At home, we’re really struggling with nap time if we’re at home. He just resists it! It’s 2:35pm and he still hasn’t fallen asleep.

(He will nap if we’re on a long pram walk or a long car journey that has been timed for around 12pm.)

But what do we do with these naps at home now? Surely he’s too young to drop the nap but does it mean we just have to be in the car or on a walk for him to have his nap now?

I personally just avoid any situations where they could fall asleep easily at that time of day, e.g., no car journeys longer than a few minutes if I really need to get somewhere, going out somewhere like the park etc. Unless he just lies down on the sofa and falls asleep etc?

I just wouldn't let mine nap at this time, to avoid the inevitable 10pm bed time. Like PP, if they've not napped by about 2pm ish then they are up until bedtime. They're can have an early night if they're tired. But definitely no napping at that age at 3 or 4pm.

Where did you read 2 is early to drop naps?

NHS - says the typical age to drop the daytime nap is between 3-4. On lots of different Trusts’ websites/leaflets etc.

I'm not sure why you think I'm trying to criticize your parenting - as you say, you've come to a parenting site for advice and I'm offering mine? Just because it doesn't align with what you want to hear, doesn't mean I'm criticizing. And I mean that respectfully, I'm not trying to be argumentative.

I have 2 kids and as I previously mentioned, one dropped a nap the week before they turned 2, and the other shortly after. I know very few kids still napping up until the age of 4. But I agree with previous posters, all kids are different and don't go by text books - you have to read the signs they are giving and it sounds like your little one is showing these signs. As someone else has said, the drop will be gradual, he may need naps on some days and not all while he gets used to the transition. Mine have both dropped their nursery nap later than their home nap, but I eventually needed to tell nursery to stop the nap - he was still willing to nap at nursery but then wouldn't go to bed at night.

And as for what to do if he falls asleep later in the afternoon - do what you can to stop it! Of course if you are in the car on a long journey there's not much you can do, but when you can, just don't let him nap.

Ultimately kids and their schedules are a minefield. I always found that as soon as you had it nailed, they changed! It's all trial and error. It sounds like your current situation isn't working so you need to try something else. Try cutting his nap for a week or 2 and see if things improve, and if not, tweak it further. (You need to give any new schedule a try for at least a week or 2 - i have found it takes at least 2 weeks for a new body clock to properly kick in, e.g. daylight savings etc)

It’s annoying but you have to avoid any circumstance where they could fall asleep at that time for a while, I.e cars, pushchair. Put him to bed at 6.30 on those days. It’s a tricky time but as with any parenting phase, it doesn’t last forever.

Most 4 year olds are in school! Even by preschool at 3/ turning 4 the children who nap would be in the minority.
Very few children will be napping by 3 in my experience with 2 children and knowing their friends from clubs, nursery and preschool.

I would agree. And those suggesting keeping him awake longer have never heard that sleep begets sleep. An overtired toddler is less likely to sleep at bedtime.

I had the opposite problem, mine refused to nap at nursery but napped well at home. They kept saying she was ready to drop naps because she was refusing to nap there, they couldn’t have been more wrong. She was a nightmare at bedtime on nursery days.

I think for her it was environmental. At nursery she was put down to nap with a bunch of other kids, and it was really quiet. She hated it being quiet when she slept, (she still does and she’s 17!) She liked to know she wasn’t alone and could hear us going about our day. Have you tried re-creating whatever environment they nap in at nursery, the same routine etc? I agree with your husband, keeping all sleep routines the same no matter what, is a good idea. Bedtime and wake times are the same, no matter what the day brings. That might help too. You will know when the nap should be dropped.

Children are individuals. Most children are not at school between 3 and 4, and many will need the nap.

I said most 4 year olds are at school, which they are, and most 3 year olds will be at preschool. The majority of them definitely aren’t napping at that age.
Neither of my children’s private nurseries even had napping spaces in their older room. The small number of children who needed a nap moved down to the younger room after lunch.

I was a full "sleep begets sleep" person until I had my second child. That one just needed less sleep and always has. They are all different so OP needs to roll with it.

If really tired and not napped by 1pm go for a drive was my strategy. Never ever let them nap after 2pm even 5 minutes and mine would be up til 10pm!

Yeah, the "sleep begets sleep" thing was bullshit for my 2 as well. It might be true for some kids somewhere but hours of napping largely led to split nights in my house!

I know plenty of toddlers around 2 years old who dont nap anymore, or have no nap days regularly; including my daughter. If they’re coping with it, then it’s their choice. We usually plan a drive / buggy around lunchtime to guarantee a nap, much easier than fighting her to nap in her bed.