If you had a baby in the 80s/90s what did you do about naps/bedtime?

[RedRobyn24]

I presume wake windows weren’t a thing and obviously apps like Huckleberry which calculated wake windows etc were not around

I have my second child (9 months) and her sleep is exactly the same as my first only this time we have the school run to consider. I’m just struggling with a routine, I want to be able to take her to baby & toddler play groups and classes which are predominantly in the morning, more than anything so I can get out the house because I’m lonely, but she needs to sleep in the morning she’s exhausted and she’s already having to wait until 9 after I’ve dropped her sister off.

What did mums do before? I feel like I’m trying to make sleep better but perhaps I am getting too caught up in wake windows and nap length. I just want her to be happy/content but also go to sleep at 7/7:30 and be fairly settled.

I must be getting it all wrong AGAIN

Mine were 90’s born. I can’t remember being given much guidance. I breast fed my first every 4 hours 10, 2 and 6. I slept when he slept and I was always tired so I gave up breast feeding at 3 month and bottle fed and then he slipped into a better routine sleeping till about 6 and napping in the afternoon. My second was a dream. Bottle fed 4 times a day. She slept nearly all the time and at about 2 weeks was sleeping through till 5am. She slept so much I used to poke her to make sure she was still alive! As they got older they still had afternoon naps till I started weaning them off before starting school. We used to start them on solids at 3 month then - just baby rice and rusks at first which helped with the sleeping When i returned to work at 6 months my parents looked after them and my dad used to take them to the park every day

Had 4 babies. They all had different sleep patterns. The only thing they had in common is none ever read a book on sleep. Lol

I had 17 month old when the newborn twins came home. Didn’t read a book. Didn’t have a clue. No support. My biggest thing was sticking to routine and doing my best. Every child is different and so is every day. Don’t be hard on yourself or try to control the uncontrollable. Children are fantastic but they do tend to behave like children… a lot

For everyone saying the baby won’t follow an app… the app follows the baby! You input the baby’s sleep and it predicts when naps are going to be. I’ve found it very useful but then I do love a bit of data. I quite like looking at the average sleep and wake times. You can also track when you’ve last fed and changed nappies which is helpful especially in the newborn days

I seem to remember a Dr Ferber back in the 90s.

My DCs didn't get the memo about the importance of sleep.

DC1 had the luxury of me being able to adapt to her daily cycles of tiredness. Everyone else slept in the car or got lifted from the cosy crib and manhandled into a jacket for school pickup.

Would a half hour nap at 9 and then a longer lunchtime nap work? This meant we could get to morning classes which were definitely as much for me as her.

there were a couple of toddler groups,
probably a nap on the way home, or at least lunch and then a nap.
afternoon toddler groups were not helpful
ds is 30 so it is hard to remember,
after lunch he probably had a nap

Do you need to use car or can she sleep in the buggy while you do school run?

I know you said you liked the data but to me that just sounds stressful, I think tracking stuff can mess with your brain and just gives you something else to think about. Surely changing a nappy doesn't need to be documented.

You’re probably right but it’s incredibly common now! With nappies, the midwives were constantly asking how many wet and dirty nappies mine had had in the early days so we started tracking that just to be able to give an answer

Fair, just as long as you or other parents don't get overly stressed by what the tech says i can see it is a handy tool.

I have DD1 who is 7, and DD2 is eight
months. We don’t use apps or read parenting books, it would make me overthink. Nap time for DD2 clashes with school times so what we do is wake DD2 at 6.30am ish, so she is ready to go down immediately after school run - be it with us or childminders, and is up and kicking again at 10.30am ish. Then afternoon nap, she just has to nap on the go and most days we. have no bother. Sometimes when out and about she skips her nap, but she’s sleep if she’s tired. A walk in fresh air is amazing with an overtired baby, knocks them out immediately.

I’m not into set nap times, so if we have to go somewhere in the morning we do and naps happen on the go. I completely understand need for you to get out, so maybe the baby gets tailored to first in the morning, i.e. last out of bed and immediately fed and bundled out the door, so not too grouchy at class.

Second children and beyond just have to fall in! You don’t have the luxury of time and freedom as you did with your first. My second child had to come with me while I ferried my first one to swimming, horse riding etc..matches on weekends if my husband was away on business. They’re both healthy, happy, well-adjusted kids and are thriving ar uni so honestly, I wouldn’t fixate on schedules and routines..do what you have to to make it work as a family..

They just used their brains, put the child to bed when they were tired, and weren’t preoccupied with with ‘me time’

With the second and subsequent babies, they just had to fit in with our routine as a family. Plenty of naps in slings, prams, on sofas, on the floor, in a friend’s bed etc etc. They are all great sleepers now.

Mine were born late 80s early 90s. Bedtime was fairly rigid but naps on the go. Never heard of wake windows and would have laughed (then) at someone who couldn't go out because it was nap time. Walked every day including school run once the oldest was 5. Lots of fresh air including being left outside 😱 to sleep or just watch clouds, birds, bees ( I know, so shoot me) Weaned at 3 months onto rice, lentils, veg which must have helped with sleeping.
I have DGC now and good lord it seems like much harder work but I always stick to their parents' rules.

Babies born 85-90. I have a slightly chaotic brain and struggled with any sort of routine. I just tried to cope and followed my instincts.

What I do remember is being made to feel inadequate by my own mother and by other Mums, who seemed so much more capable than me and whose babies seems to sleep and nap perfectly (allegedly!). It all felt like a bit of a competition to me and I hated that as I always felt I was coming last.

In the end I realised that I just had to do my best to survive, give them lots of love,
keep them safe and not care what anyone else said or did. They all managed to make it through and become lovely adults and parents themselves.

Identical for me
DCs born late 80s/early 90s
Rusks baby rice progressing on to Weetabix and porridge
Liquidised our food to start with, then just mashed it with a fork. They all ate what we ate from chilli con carne to roast dinners!

I had mine a decade later but no apps or whatever. Mine just slept when they were tired.

My mum (I was in 89) insists that all this stuff about routines and wake windows and naps is nonsense and babies just need to fit your day.

But she also says I screamed for the first year of my life and I was such an unhappy baby, she was too traumatised to consider a second child.

So I don't think her superior approach worked.