If you had a baby in the 80s/90s what did you do about naps/bedtime?

[RedRobyn24]

I presume wake windows weren’t a thing and obviously apps like Huckleberry which calculated wake windows etc were not around

I have my second child (9 months) and her sleep is exactly the same as my first only this time we have the school run to consider. I’m just struggling with a routine, I want to be able to take her to baby & toddler play groups and classes which are predominantly in the morning, more than anything so I can get out the house because I’m lonely, but she needs to sleep in the morning she’s exhausted and she’s already having to wait until 9 after I’ve dropped her sister off.

What did mums do before? I feel like I’m trying to make sleep better but perhaps I am getting too caught up in wake windows and nap length. I just want her to be happy/content but also go to sleep at 7/7:30 and be fairly settled.

I must be getting it all wrong AGAIN

When do you put her down for naps what is current napping advice? I don't think it is meant to make you lonely and miserable though, make plans to go out let her sleep either in her pram or sling.

2004 and threw Gina Ford's book out of the window.

I would probably take her along to the morning baby groups, anyway and just let her sleep on in the buggy/car seat until her routine changes.

Not all babies just sleep when they’re tired! Some babies need lots of support (rocking, shushing, movement) to fall asleep so wake windows etc are useful. My baby has never once just got tired and fallen asleep. Ever.

I would also imagine we know more about baby sleep now and its importance now than we did 40 years ago?

I had 2 dc in the early 90s and basically babies were meant to adapt to your routine not you to theirs. I just went/did what I wanted and if dc slept it was fine and if they didn't it was also fine. Now I have gc and dd1 is very particular about her dd's nap schedule and wake window so it does make going out difficult. I'd never heard of sleep regression and a lot of other terms dd1 bandies around despite having had 4dc. Dd2 is more like me with her dc but I did always have a set bedtime which gs does not really have.

Got mine into knowing the difference between day and night from day one. So same routine every day/evening. Evening - Bath, story, feed, bed. If they woke in the night kept everything quiet and low key, feed, settle and back into bed (cot etc). Up at any time after 6am then normal daytime routine with a half hour nap generally in the morning, up to 1.5/2 hours in the afternoon, bedtime routine starting around 6.30pm. Stuck religiously to it. I had three under five by the way so we had to have a strong routine. All good sleepers relatively early on with a highly predictable routine.

Another one here who just got on with what I wanted to do and baby slept when he was ready wherever we were. I remember one day at toddler group all of us laughing about my little one fast asleep on the mat surrounded by other tots playing with all the toys.

Mine definitely need support. My first never fell asleep on her own. My second has dropped off on her own before but for the most part she wants/needs help. Some of them can do it and some really can’t.

I had babies late 80s, early 90s and I don't get it all now and what I hear from my DD and first GC ! It's all very different.

No.1 DC had a two hour nap in the morning, then we were out and about in the afternoon. No.2 DC was a brilliant napper and would fall asleep anywhere so she just fitted in when we were out and would fall asleep in her high chair, or on the floor at a toddler group!

Both slept 12 hours at night at 11 and 12 weeks old, it all seemed much easier back then. But of course you could give solid food so much earlier, I had big babies and my HV encouraged it!
I know it's very different now.

My mum gave us all hungry baby milk and when I quizzed her as to why, it dawned on her there was no reason other than the HV telling her it would keep us content for longer 😂 i get the logic but it’s so different to how!

edit as i said hungry baby food meaning milk!

We have always had a routine, we get up at the same time every day. We go to bed at the same time every night. I made DD2’s nap later before DD1 started school to make the transition easier, but we are having difficulty with the 2nd and 3rd nap in the day in that she doesn’t want to go to sleep! Or she will sleep half an hour then wake up upset. Also sometimes she wakes up earlier than the normal wake up time so it makes her tired and fussy sooner.

There are definitely vibes here of “we have a solid routine so my children sleep well because I’m a better parent” I’m glad for your sake your children sleep well, some of them don’t sleep so easily no matter how robust a routine you have.

Maternity seems to love to go through different obsessions. Often they are based on some truth but sort of blown into some big obsession. I always thought it was manufactured to keep the magazines in business! Although I'd imagine magazines are a thing of the past now.

My children were born in 90s.

Big things for us were no cot bumpers, the way we laid them to sleep, natural mattresses, breastfeeding (and bottles were frowned on/Mum's made to feel failures), avoiding epidurals, not using dummies and quite strict weaning dates. Most of us "failed" a handful of these when the time actually came and we realised the babies themselves and Mum's coping took precedence!

I don't recall anything about naps or bedtimes.

Baby 2 (or more) had a far more relaxed approach for most of us - partly because it is actually a great deal harder juggling so much, but you've learned how to cope so approached it your own way.

Sorry OP are you doing more than 2 naps a day? I’d drop this to 2 more substantial ones if I were you. Try not to focus specifically on wake windows and consider total sleep time in a 24 hour period.

I worked to slowly change the nap/wake/sleep times to fit family life otherwise he would have been awak when we were asleep!

Used a pad and wrote down times, moving them by a few minutes each day to get to where our LO got the sleep he needed and so did we.

Awake after a short nap post lunch, time to play, food and a bathtine/bedtime routine at 19.00.

I remember when I had my first DS in the early 1980s, he would not go to sleep at all during the day.
That is he got so tired, and very angry.
The only way he would sleep, was if I took him for a walk in the pram. Then he would fall asleep. Unfortunately, he seemed to understand just as I returned to the house, and would promptly wake up. As you can imagine, I got very frustrated as I was unable to do anything at all. Finally, at around 4 months, in desperation, I put him in his cot upstairs, and shut the door. Silence! He immediately fell asleep, and I realised, he wanted to be in his cot.
After that, if I was at home, he went upstairs in his cot (I had a baby monitor, but in those days it was on a lead, so not ideal). If I was out he would fall asleep.
After a while, the sleeping twice daily (morning and afternoon), moved to just once a day (usually in the afternoon).
With the second DS, I was much more relaxed. If I was at home, I'd put him in the cot, if out, then he would sleep in the pram.
I do not recall having a schedule as such.

Probably time to drop one nap - it was probably around then dd1 dropped gd's middle nap. She is 16 months now and has been on one nap for about 3 months.

I had babies 1988 and 1990 and we didn't have baby groups etc then. I used to see my mum and a few close friends during the day, often for lunch, they had babies too so didn't need a baby group to make friends. If I wanted to go out I put the baby in the car and off I went regardless! I had long phone calls with my friend, sometimes watching TV together! When I moved house and I felt I should get to know local mothers etc I went to a playgroup locally for and hour or so once a week. I generally put my eldest down to sleep about 10ish and when I had my other baby I had the big pram downstairs so I could hear and see her without leaving older one. I don't remember worrying about naps at all and my friend didn't either. I tend to think all those baby groups etc would be a nuisance!

I didn’t have a baby in the 80s or 90s but relate to so much of what the mums are saying.

I had my baby a year ago (and another 10 years ago) and I parent on instincts. I think maybe that can be missing from our generation. Not just with parenting. We are given so much information about absolutely everything.

If I need to go to a baby group, I go. He tends to stay asleep if he is that tired or he will wake up during, but honestly, at this age they go through so much their sleep constantly changes and regresses etc. We also miss a lot of baby groups because they start too damn early and we both need a lie in! So I get my social fix from joining some hobby groups.

I don’t even know what a wake window is. I don’t listen to social media tips or read parenting books. If I need advice I go to my mum, another parent at the parent groups (so I’ll encourage you to go x) or platforms like mumsnet.

My schedule is also all over the place sometimes, so if I need baby to be asleep at a certain time, I’ll make sure he has had a good run around, is fed and tired enough to then fall asleep on my back or whilst we go on a walk.

I was an attachment parent co sleeper, so routines just weren’t part of my life. I wish people could parent like that nowadays.

But you asked what we did in the 80s and 90s and I answered you. I am not saying anyone is right or wrong but it IS what I did, I answered your question. Don’t ask if you don’t want honest answers.

I didn't really set a schedule they just slept when they were tired. I think generally they would have a morning nap and an afternoon nap, then at some point they just stopped needing the morning nap and later on stopped needing the afternoon one. From the age of about 3 and a half they went to the local school nursery afternoon session 5 days a week so no more naps at all from that age. They were both quite good sleepers at night though so I think I was lucky. I did read the baby books and had the Miriam Stoppard one. I think DS must have read the book too as he seemed to do pretty much everything how Miriam said he should (apart from the being read to at the age of 6 months - all he wanted to do was eat the book) DD though went by her own timetable and didn't follow Miriam's instructions at all. To be honest I just took on board the information I agreed with, ignored the rest and used my common sense.

I have a 4.5 year old too, she’s been a bad sleeper since 2 months old, I tried everything. Eventually I just gave up and go with the days as they come.
I don’t think I’ve done her wrong, I’ve actually done everything I could to help her.
she’ll get it eventually like we all do…. Don’t stress.
You won’t win… you could put the baby to sleep at home and an emergency happens with your older child at school.
You got this!

90s and 00s - never heard of wake windows.
Mine tended to have a nap late-ish morning. In the afternoon we'd go out doing things and then back for tea, books and bedtime. But if we had to go out in the morning it wasn't a problem - they'd just have lunch and then an afternoon nap. If they were still napping at school run time they'd be woken up. Not a problem - they can sleep in the buggy or the car if they need to. If a baby/toddler needs ro sleep it generally will if it has a bed or buggy/car seat to sleep in.

I had my two in 2007 and 2010, so not that long ago, but before the days of many apps. I just put them in the pushchair and took them out, I don’t drive so it was walking/bus and they mapped them. My younger one would climb into his pushchair at home for a nap if he needed one, so I just wheeled him out for the school run. With the older one he did sometimes have a nap in his cot after lunch, but if we were out it didn’t matter. Typically it was up, out in the morning, lunch, nap (wherever), then another activity. Bedtime was 8ish, bath, story, bed. Obviously changed if I’ll or teething. Tbh I didn’t want to be tied to a strict schedule, but still needed a bit of evening routine and the freedom to get out and about

They slept when they slept and if we had to go out we just went and they went back to sleep or not.

I think the key thing here is to get baby used to sleeping in pram/car seat so that when your out they will nap! 4 kids all slept 7-7 from 8-12 weeks old and always been great sleepers. (I am very grumpy if I don’t get a decent sleep)