If you had a baby in the 80s/90s what did you do about naps/bedtime?

[RedRobyn24]

I presume wake windows weren’t a thing and obviously apps like Huckleberry which calculated wake windows etc were not around

I have my second child (9 months) and her sleep is exactly the same as my first only this time we have the school run to consider. I’m just struggling with a routine, I want to be able to take her to baby & toddler play groups and classes which are predominantly in the morning, more than anything so I can get out the house because I’m lonely, but she needs to sleep in the morning she’s exhausted and she’s already having to wait until 9 after I’ve dropped her sister off.

What did mums do before? I feel like I’m trying to make sleep better but perhaps I am getting too caught up in wake windows and nap length. I just want her to be happy/content but also go to sleep at 7/7:30 and be fairly settled.

I must be getting it all wrong AGAIN

For everyone asking, wake windows are the optimal length of time a baby/toddler should be awake between naps, the amount of time they can theoretically manage before needing another sleep. Too long and they are likely to become overtired and harder to get to sleep. Too short and they don’t build up enough ‘sleep pressure’ to be able to sleep again (hence the concept of ‘danger naps’ at 6pm!)
The idea is the windows get longer with age so it might be an hour to 90 minutes for a newborn, increasing gradually until its maybe 4/5 hours for a one year old until they can happily stay awake all day.
I used them more as a general guide than sticking rigidly to them- helped me be aware of when to look out for tired cues.
Not all babies just ‘sleep when they are tired’. For some the opposite is true!

I had my DCs recently and don’t use wake windows or apps. I know people who did and were very restricted. My DC napped around what our plans were for the day. On nursery run for my oldest, my youngest DC napped in the pram then we went to baby groups.

With my 2nd, 3rd and 4th they just had to sleep in sling, bugger or car and get on with it.

They adapt.

My DC were born in the 2000s and 2010s and I had no naps or any understanding of wake windows. It honestly sounds like you are overthinking things.

My DC3 had a dreadful nap schedule dur to both nursery and school runs. She slept when she slept and I tried my best. There was no other way.

DC2 had a quick nap in the buggy after school drop-off, then we sometimes did a morning group. Back home for lunch around 12, nap 1pm-2.30pm, then out for school pick-up.

Afternoon nap was in a cot. I had a warm wrap for the buggy so if DC2 was still sleeping, I could roll DC2 out of the cot and into the buggy all wrapped up and cosy and still asleep.

Of course it often all went to pot but that was the vague plan.

I had 3 under 3
From day one I put baby in the bath at 6 pm ,last feed, then bed and a story at 7 pm.
Woke them around 11/12 for a dream feed ,no lights on and back to sleep,no stimulation at all.
I followed that routine religiously with all 3 DC .
I knew I wasn't the type of mum to cope without an evening to myself or without sleep .
This was mid 1990s
We also home schooled ,so no nursery or any childcare ,so I needed my sleep

I have 5 children and have never had a strict nap/wake schedule with any of them.. they tend to fall into their own routine and fit into your lifestyle

my 4th always wanted to nap in the mornings but I went to baby groups with the 3rd, so he would fall asleep in the car on the way there after the school run then I would take him in asleep and he’d soon wake up. Even if he didn’t, it got me out of the house and talking to other moms so I suggest you just go anyway!
after a while his nap shifted and he’d fall asleep on the way home from the groups instead

you’re not doing anything wrong. All babies are different and there’s no rulebook to any of this, go with the flow and do what fits you and your family. My advice - don’t revolve your life around naps and wake windows!

Curious to know, was the 4 month sleep regression a thing in the 80s/90s?

4 years ago I didn’t have a clue either!!

hopefully someone can come along with an answer but I suspect it might not have been called the “4 month sleep regression” but regardless babies sleep does change around that age, so it must have been a thing to a degree

I came back on to say ,I'd not really answered the ops question,I'd gone of on tangent..and was going to write this ,but @Coffeeismybestfriend has beat me to it x

Delete the apps.

Your baby can’t read and doesn’t know what a schedule is.

Just follow your baby and trust yourself. You obviously love your baby and are a great mother or you wouldn’t be worrying about these things but take a stress off yourself and just enjoy your baby.

It doesn’t matter if they sleep through baby group. Baby group isn’t really for them - it is your chance to meet local parents and socialise.

I always recommend local baby groups - these parents are parents of the kids your baby will grow up with and it takes a village to raise a child.

My DS is 8yrs now and I have no clue what a wake window is. I never read a sleep book, I never downloaded a sleep app and I never asked my friends when thier babies slept wanna know why?! ....... Because no 2 babies are the same and what works for one doesn't work for the other. You need to raise a flexible baby who can for the most part fit around you. From 8wks old My DS would go to bed at 7pm and then wake about 10.30pm for a feed he would then sleep until around 10/10.30am and then nap about 12 and again at 3. At about 10mo we dropped the 2 naps and he just had one at about 1 30pm. Then by 2.5yr we didn't do naps at all that worked for us, but my brothers DS is now 2.5yr and would shank you if she didn't get her afternoon nap lol. X

Can DC 2 not nap on the school run? Our DD2 sleeps during nursery run, we did/do an activity and then let her have a longer nap in the afternoon if she feels like it

Yes this, although I did like the Baby whisperer I can't remember her name but she had a programme on tv she was great.

Op we just had advice from HV our mums other mums , we did have "sleep windows" but we didn't call it anything just tried to time naps to bed times .

Tbh I have never really thought this was real either. The sleep cycle of babies is constantly changing, there isn’t a regression, just a change from their newborn sleep as they become more alert and aware and also able to be awake longer. For me that’s progression not regression.

I used to go to toddlers with dd2 in her pram so if she was sleeping she was sleeping.

Yes this, we didn't see it as sleep regression I don't even think it was a term.

I had my babies in 01 and 05, I’ve never heard of wake windows. Mine went down for naps when they fit in around the rest of what I had to do that day. There was a loose routine, like no naps after 4, lol

Some people/families thrive on routine, for others it makes life difficult and stressful.
If trying to follow a routine isn't working for you, throw it out, and consider throwing out the idea of routine.

My little one is not yet 2, but I didn't follow wake windows, routines, etc. I didn't read books, follow "influencers", etc.I did what worked for me and what worked for my little one. I presume similar to life before apps and social media.

No you are not getting it wrong. Kids are hard work they always have been. For me the main difference I see between when I brought my babies up, one in the 80s and 3 in the 90s is that we were not expected to conform to any media driven sleep routines.
I used to cuddle mine and then put them down to sleep on a travel cot or pram in the room I was in. I think that helped because they could hear me and did not need to be in a particular room. I was probably a rubbish mum, I was oblivious to the fact that babies have set nap times until recently when I learned it from my daughter in law.
The nap times work for her as she does not go out of the house much. For me I was always out with the pram, shopping, visiting people, going to baby clubs, swimming etc. I used to pop mine for a sleep. if they were tired regardless of where they were or time of day. It worked for me but I know nowadays parents feel that is wrong. I think it also was good for me because my mum had very rigid ideas about meal and bed times which I always hated as a child.
By the time the second and third came along I had a lot more commitments, uni, work, parents, husband away. I carried on in my own oblivious way. I would grab the baby from the cot if still sleeping and put them in the car of pram and take the other two to school or nursery. Then either pop back home or go wherever I was going next and feed and dress them there. If the baby was tired they would sleep on my knee or in the pram. Have a bit of a battery recharge and be good to go.
i think the other big difference back then was if a mum looked tired or if a baby was fussing another mum would always offer “ ooh give me a cuddle with that scrummy baby while you have a cuppa”. I have noticed at mum and baby groups I take my grandchildren to that the parents seem very wrapped up in their own baby rather than sharing. I still offer a hand, often the parent looks surprised but they do feed back to my grown up kids “ oh your mum was fabulous today, like Mary Poppins looking after all the babies.”
Sorry this is so long! I think what I am saying is maybe don’t be so rigid. Don’t feel you have to be super mum. Try things out, some will work out some won’t. Grab a cuppa when you can and if there is a grandmother nearby (anyone’s) let them help if they offer because once our kids grew up we missed them sooooo much we forgot about all the hard work!

I agree with a pp if routine isnt fitting in then just go with the flow and don't let naps hold you back, if you want to go out a few mornings a week just go.

What’s made you think you did it ‘wrong’ the first time???

A baby will sleep when it’s tired!

I feel like I am judging when she’s tired incorrectly or when she is tired I’m not supporting her well enough to go to sleep.

My eldest still wakes most nights for me too, she is 4.5yo

That honestly sounds wonderful. I would love just to get on with it like that.

I love taking her to village hall playgroups, it makes me feel like I’m a part of the community and my absence would be noticed. It adds some structure to my day other than walking the dog.

When she was a bit younger, I could just let her sleep in the sling whilst I made dinner, but now she can’t seem to switch off and do that anymore.