My baby's lack of sleep is ruining my life

[crispyeggs]

She is just a terrible sleeper and has been since day one. Had severe colic until 16 weeks and has always, ALWAYS needed rocking and feeding to sleep. She has never slept without this. She is six months old.

The last week, this is no longer working and she is screaming bloody murder from bedtime every night, all throughout the night and is sleeping only in 20 min intervals on one of us and is waking the moment we put her down. Have tried pain relief in case it's teething pain, nothing works.

Tried sleep training g but she doesn't tire - will just scream for hours unless held.

I honestly want to die. What do I do?

Thank you xxx

Nope, no help

I would suggest if all medical problems have been ruled out, maybe tough it out.

Suggest husband takes over for a few days, to enable you to get your head down.
You are the adults, the baby fits into your life.

Please get help.

I've thought this too but she just wakes wide awake from naps and is vibrating with energy, regardless of what I do - so pushing bedtime back just seems impossible as she is ratty/rubbing her eyes and crying.

I wouldn't know where to start with a sleep consultant, it's a lot of money for no guarantee

I've had 2 days rest but I physically can't cope with rhe screaming regardless of rest, it makes me want to die

What does this mean?

The GP? A thorough examination and a way forward?

Please please see a doctor. This is awful. May I kindly ask why you are so isolated? are there no clubs and so on with other parents?

I've been to the GP so many times since she was born, but she presents well during the day. They've never seen the issues.

I mentioned, I go to groups every day. I have friends, but they all have kids and have their plates full. If me and my husband can't cope I wouldn't expect a friend who barely knows her to be able to.

Sorry I haven't read the full thread so apologies if I've missed it, but have you tried engaging a professional sleep consultant? Not one of the ones who will just come in and tell your baby to cry it out but one who will assess all aspects of your routine timings, food/milk, sleep environment etc. I haven't but I know friends who have and said it was life changing. You have my sympathy, I've got 3 kids and none have been great sleepers, although on in particular was so awful and I found it hard to cope x

Are you telling the GP the full story and how you feel you can't go on sometimes?

I am really sorry you are going through this.

Is it worth maybe filming how she is at night, then you can show a doctor? Sorry your health visitors haven't been much help.

Id definitely try Colief drops only thing that eased it for us. Lifesaver. Keep going I know it's so hard xx

If you Google it op there are volunteers who can come to your house and help you. I can't remember the details but perhaps you could ask your HV? Looking back I really regret not getting help in, I was 'too proud' which was ridiculous of me. We have zero family nearby too so again I can empathise.

I would highly recommend reading this.

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/

I read his book when DD was a baby, although it didn't solve the problem it made me realise that she was a totally normal baby. She just need more of everything. Even as a teenager she is full on and wants to be on the go constantly.

You do anything you need to to get through this really difficult stage, the sleep really does get better with time.

Cranial osteopath?

No, I'm going for her and not for me.

Respectfully, I know what MH issues are. I don't have them, I have previously but this is purely environmental. I've had 6 months of hell with my baby and im running out of steam.

use brown or white noise to block it out, its the only thing that gave me the chance to sleep and not be jolted by every scream while my partner was on shift with the baby

@crispyeggs I would recommend the one we used/ are using. She also does a free 30 mins call so you can see if you think it will work for you.
You can PM me if you want details.
We found the HV utterly useless, but the consultant gave us a solid plan, reviewed the sleep diary etc. with my daughter we had struggled for 2 years and our issues were sorted within a couple of weeks.

As for naps, add an extra nap and make bedtime later. Eg last nap 5pm and then 7.30/8 bedtime. The fact you are struggling at bedtime and baby isn't staying asleep it sounds like the timing is off.

I had one of these babies. It's so bloody hard OP. Nothing medically wrong with mine when he was younger either. HV and Dr were kind and I followed all advice but nothing helped at the time and I felt utterly helpless and like it would never get better. But they do grow out of it I promise. Said baby is now 2.5 and sleeps like a dream. What saved us whilst in the thick of it was sleeping in separate rooms with one dealing with the baby one night and the other dealing with the baby the next. It meant that we got one decent night's sleep every other day each and we didn't have to listen to the screaming (which for us was worse than the sleep deprivation). You have my sympathies!

I wasn't for a minute suggesting you have MH problems. I was wondering if the GP was aware of the severity of the screaming and how its affecting your family. If they see a smiley, happy baby, how can they know?

This sounds so so hard, and I have so much sympathy. On the worst day of my baby refusing to sleep I put her in her cot, went downstairs and started smashing plates one after another until my partner came and physically stopped me. So yes sorting out her sleep is important, but stopping you feeling the way you do right now has to be the priority.

I talked to my GP about me, not baby. Didn’t take her with me. Did a course of medication for anxiety which helped with some of the physical symptoms of extreme stress (which is what this is). Prioritised time outdoors in the daylight for me but might be something else for you. And headphones. I felt guilty about it, but sometimes the best I could do was lie next to her with my hand on her back while she cried, and it was better for me if I could listen to something to take the edge of.

None of that might be the thing that helps you, but you do deserve help, for you, not just for the baby. I hope you can get it.

Have you tried not doing your whole bedtime routine? It sounds an awful lot and may have the wrong reaction for her? Keep it simple, bath, pjs, bottle, bed. You’ll get her into needing this long routine otherwise which won’t help for her going down for naps, and if she doesn’t nap she’ll be over tired and it won’t help her sleep at night.

There is a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. I completely sympathise. My 3rd baby was a nightmare sleeper, could be why she was the last. It does end. It may not feel like it now but it will. It's ok to walk away for a few minutes if you can't stand it for a second longer.
I don't know about allergies etc but I think everyone's advice re milk allergies are interesting and may be worth considering. Could you try her on different milk for a bit? If you are trying different things like that you may feel like you are working towards a solution and that may give you some strength?