Please no judgement, i am absolutely at my wits end. I was advised to co-sleep with second DS as was told id get maximum rest. At the beginning it was easier not having to get up, but then i found myself boobing him back to sleep after every sleep cycle. I assumed his sleep would settle naturally, or after weaning. I was exhausted, but continued on. Nothing improved, and i had to boob him back to sleep for naps, and every 45 minutes throughout the evening. I haven't had one night proper sleep, or an evening to myself for one year, and can't cope with being woken up every 45 minutes through the night anymore. His sleep pattern is exactly the same at 12 months to when he was 3 months old. I feel very ill, and nearly had a few car crashes due to exhaustion. Not only that but found my baby playing right near the edge of the bed this week, so knew for his own safety it was time to transfer him to the cot.
I read about ferber method on mumsnet, and all i find are testimonies of babies crying for 45 mins first night, 20 minutes second night and 3 minutes third night for example. I keep reading how it was a game changer, but last night was a disaster for us, and i feel so discouraged now.
I followed the steps, check in to provide comfort (sshhhh sounds and strokes) at 3 minutes, 5 minutes and then 10 minute intervals. It took him two hours to fall asleep, but then woke up crying 10 minutes later. I restarted the check ins again, but it suddenly went quiet before i reached the 10 minute check in. I assumed he must have went back to sleep, so snuck in to check on him 15 minutes later, and found him asleep whilst sitting holding onto the cot! I gently put him on his back snuck out. I couldn't sleep as my anxiety was through the roof... He then woke up 45 minutes later crying (it was midnight at this point and he only slept 55 minutes including the 10 minutes earlier). It was more of a whinging cry at this point, and i found he cried harder when i left after my check ins. I continued, and then heard nothing at 12.30 am and assumed he was asleep. He was asleep, but again sitting up holding onto the bar!
Anyway this continued all through the night where he would cry hard during check ins, then a further 5 minutes then silence. Id assume he fell asleep, but every time i went in to check he either would be stood there silently waiting for me awake, or holding on the cot sitting dozing off. I think he knew i was coming back due to check ins, and was waiting for me? Ive never read of a baby just waiting quietly. Ive read the baby would eventually fall asleep for a few good hours.
He must have been exhausted, but kept waking up similar pattern as before, after every 45 minutes. There was no change, or improvement. He would wait there quietly too so it didn't work in terms of teaching him to self settle. In the end i got worried by the fact he hardly slept by 5am, and my boobs were hurting from not feeding him, so decided to put him on spare mattress in the living room with me, he fed and went to sleep. Woke up again 1 hour later, and i fed again and he went back to sleep before i woke him up properly at 8am. I really don't know what to do, and dreading nap time coming up.
Has this happened with anyone else? I am absolutely shattered as i was already running on empty. I can't imagine a week of literally no sleep. There are no family, or friends to help. I am worried this won't work, and id never be able to get him to sleep through in his own cot.