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Original poster

Next to me crib? Partner says it's lazy!

94 replies

Butterflies12 · 19/03/2023 09:02

Hi,
I'm wondering if anyone has any advice about a next to me crib. I am 5 months pregnant and think a next to me crib would be lovely because you are close to baby, can't easily pick them up without getting out of bed and they know you are close. I'm also likely to have a c section so think a next to me would be easier to reach baby. My partner has said his sister is going to buy us a moses basket. When I said that was kind but I would prefer to choose myself and want a next to me crib, he said that they are just lazy and who can't be bothered to get out of bed and walk a few steps to their baby. He also said he thinks they sound dangerous. Has anyone got any advice/experience to share? It's our first baby so I don't.

OP posts:

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Loveyoutomatoes · 19/03/2023 09:04

What a gem of a partner.
Maybe get him reading about SIDS and the benefits of sleeping next to baby.

NotJohnWick · 19/03/2023 09:05

You need to put your foot down hard now if this is his attitude. Will he be the one sliced open, a baby pulled out of them, engorged boobs and a baby rooting for their milk? No. Will he get out of bed for every wakeup? Doubt it.

MagdaMok · 19/03/2023 09:06

I had a CS and mine was a life saver 😍 I had snooze pot 3 or 4 second hand off Facebook (just bought new mattress) and it was fab. Walking is not a piece of cake first two weeks or so and it does make your life so so much easier. Also you can use it up until baby rolls whole Moses basket tent to be overgrown by baby in first 2-3 months depending on baby size 😁

notthisagainforest · 19/03/2023 09:06

You get the crib you want

yogaretreat · 19/03/2023 09:07

What a weird response from him.

I think they are really nice. I loved mine.

Ps... Maybe he should have major abdominal surgery and then try bending down to pick up a baby!

BoredBetsy · 19/03/2023 09:07

Op you know what you want, stay true to your convictions and go ahead with it.
It's probably not going to be him dealing with a newborn waking up multiple times through the night.

Margo34 · 19/03/2023 09:08

They are amazing. So much better and easier than a Moses basket on the floor. Tell your partner that every time the baby wakes, he can be the one to get up, walk across the room, bend down to the Moses basket on the floor, pick up the baby and bring baby back to you in bed, and once baby has been fed/changed/resettled/(their needs met in whichever way) that he can then be the one to return baby to the Moses basket on the floor across the room. If he disagrees, he's being lazy.

MatchesinEyes23 · 19/03/2023 09:08

If he wants to get up and walk “the few steps” to the Moses basket everytime babu cries then sure, tell him to go for it.

YearoftheRabbit23 · 19/03/2023 09:08

I had c section and next2me. Honestly, it's not easy having the crib attached to the bed. It means you can only exit from the foot of the bed. After C-section the most painful movement for me (for about 2 weeks) was transitioning from lying down to sitting, you want to be able to swing your legs down the side of the bed to stand. After C-section husband should be bringing you baby for first two weeks anyway, and I always found it easier to pick up baby from standing than sitting or kneeling (even when totally recovered from the op).

There was a similar thread a few weeks ago. One suggestion was attach the crib to hubby's side of the bed.

Or do what we did - use next2me as normal crib, close to bed but just not attached to bed so you have room to climb in and out normally. We placed nursing armchair right in front so I could stand up from nursing and directly place baby in crib.

Greebosmum · 19/03/2023 09:08

Surely the moses basket is for the living room and the next to me for night time? I dont know if a moses basket is suitable for all night sleeping (fingers crossed). My babies grew out of their moses basket in a couple of months. The next to me crib is a brilliant idea, I wish they had been available when mine were babies.

Laundrybasket2 · 19/03/2023 09:08

Stick to your guns. Although I had a Moses basket next to my bed, and they are convenient as you can bring them downstairs etc. Unless your partner wants to get up several times a night to feed/change baby it should be your choice. Pretty outrageous to use the word lazy though

Catsonskis · 19/03/2023 09:09

Say yes to the Moses if it lives on his side of the room and he is the one to get up on average every 30 minutes for the first few weeks to pass you the baby.

or get the next to me you want! In my opinion it’s the best thing in the new born days!! I wouldn’t have been without it. Especially if you have a section or a big tear you can’t easily or quickly get out of bed, but you can just lean.

bloody men!!!

(for what it’s worth, I had a Moses downstairs that someone bought me, so you could get both)

MistyFrequencies · 19/03/2023 09:09

NotJohnWick · 19/03/2023 09:05

This.
Im actually worried he is implying already that his currently-pregnant wife might be lazy. Thats not at all nice or supportive. You look after yourself in the coming months.

Fairydustandsparklylights · 19/03/2023 09:09

If he seriously said that’s it’s lazy etc. then you need to nip this in the bud now. What an arse! He needs to educate himself and not spout such ignorant crap. Plus, just because his sister made one choice, it doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to make another. I think you’re in for a long road tbh, as it sounds like if you want to do something different to his family, he’ll make you feel crap about it.

user1485155050 · 19/03/2023 09:09

Well he seems like a delight, maybe he should get out of bed every hour, every night for months and see if he'd like to make life a little easier?
That being said, I'd suggest you had both. A moses basket is great for naps downstairs and my two hated the Next2me until they were a bit bigger so I used to put the basket in the next2me at night until around 12 weeks when they outgrew it but still weren't big enough to go in their own room.

Duvethider · 19/03/2023 09:10

Mosses baskets are useless, pretty old fashioned, outgrown quickly, can’t easily see/get to baby. They belong in the 1980s.

seriously get a next to me style crib 2nd hand and get a new mattress for it. You won’t regret it. Baby’s tend to love them as they are so close to you. They are a safe sleep option, sorry but your partner doesn’t know what he is talking about.

Singleandproud · 19/03/2023 09:10

The sister can buy the moses basket and you can keep it downstairs for naps.

Unless he intends to get up for every feed he really doesn't get to have a huge say in what's lazy.

If you have the room though many full size cots can have one side lowered so they become close to the bed. This will be more cost effective. DDs cot did this and was also a cot bed and lasted her several years.

Covetthee · 19/03/2023 09:10

Tell him when he has stomach ripped open then be can decide what kind of bed you get for baby.

would definitely NOT recommend a moses basket, as they grow out of it SO quickly. Think we got 3/4 weeks use out of ours (which we used in lounge)

next to me is great, presumably baby will stay in your room for 6 months min which will accommodate their growth, and like
you said easier to help baby in the night.

tocas · 19/03/2023 09:11

This is a red flag. Has he changed throughout your pregnancy?

JennyForeigner · 19/03/2023 09:12

Partner is an idiot.

God save us from dad's to be who just 'know better' than all of the incredibly careful research and consumer law around baby products, go all moral high-toney about what makes a new mum lazy, and imply it is somehow about what his family thinks best. 'My sister...'

He's going to be a gem.

scarecrow22 · 19/03/2023 09:12

Tell your partner he's hit on a great system. He can pick up baby and hand him/her to you, you can feed (however works), then he can take baby back to crib and settle. Repeat.

After all, what was it, "who can't be bothered to get out of bed and walk a few steps to their baby."

With all due respect, you need to get him better educated about all this!!

PS I had a crib after CS, so can be done, but with a lot of support from DH at first, including a fresh cup of tea with every feed! Maybe put that on your list :)

Badbudgeter · 19/03/2023 09:12

Lazy my arse. I assume he will be getting out of bed and walking the few steps to get the baby? I bf so did all the night wakings. Loved crib next to the bed. Get a slider sheet, designed to help move elderly / disabled folk and you can shunt them back without waking.

That said you can never have too many places to put a baby down. Just say thank you and use Moses basket for daytime naps in sitting room etc. Moses baskets are only useful for a few months anyway.

Willowtre1 · 19/03/2023 09:13

Wow he is a charmer isn't he. Doesn't bode well for support post birth. Get him in line now. We had a next to the bed crib and it was very useful, also had a emcs so even more valuable

Bubbleses · 19/03/2023 09:13

definitely get the next to me and attach it to your bed! It’s so much easier to settle the baby too in one than in a separate basket especially if you’re breastfeeding because you’re still lying next to them. It’s much harder to put a baby down in a separate basket/crib if you have to bend down a way to put them down as baby is more likely to wake up while you’re putting them down (and I’ve also not great for your back). I think it’s wrong to describe it as “lazy” - it’s better for both you and baby to be as close as possible whilst staying safe.

thecapitalsunited · 19/03/2023 09:14

I used a Moses basket for the first few months then got a next2me at about 4 months which I used as a regular crib because my baby had outgrown the Moses basket but wasn’t big enough to go in the cot in her own room. We used the next2me as a travel cot when we visited relatives because it’s so easy to put up and down.

I did like my Moses basket and baby slept in it upstairs and downstairs. I had a rocking frame for it which was a godsend for getting my fussy baby to sleep. But if there’s a next time I might keep the Moses for day naps and the next2me for night sleeps.

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