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Original poster

Next to me crib? Partner says it's lazy!

94 replies

Butterflies12 · 19/03/2023 09:02

Hi,
I'm wondering if anyone has any advice about a next to me crib. I am 5 months pregnant and think a next to me crib would be lovely because you are close to baby, can't easily pick them up without getting out of bed and they know you are close. I'm also likely to have a c section so think a next to me would be easier to reach baby. My partner has said his sister is going to buy us a moses basket. When I said that was kind but I would prefer to choose myself and want a next to me crib, he said that they are just lazy and who can't be bothered to get out of bed and walk a few steps to their baby. He also said he thinks they sound dangerous. Has anyone got any advice/experience to share? It's our first baby so I don't.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mumsanetta · 19/03/2023 10:52

I am a petty person but I would print his comments about being lazy on a card and show it to him if he ever makes a fuss about doing his share of night feeds.
A next you you is not dangerous if fitted properly.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 19/03/2023 10:55

I think he is using lazy to justify the offer from his sister.
But actually we had a next to me and I didn't like it. In the end it was used for books and my juices and muslins and stuff.
We have a thick mattress so the next to me couldn't quite reach and it's not actually easy to pick a baby up if youre not standing up yourself.

We definitely used a Moses basket a lot more than the next to me.

Lcb123 · 19/03/2023 10:56

Weird attitude from him. I wouldn’t be getting anything now though - tell his sister not to get you the Moses. Sorry I’m very paranoid but it’s early days

Merrow · 19/03/2023 10:56

I have a next to me and it's great! I actually keep the side up as I'm paranoid about my duvet going in, but even with the side up I can soothe DS with my hand. Feels very safe in that I can put him in without any effort if I feel like I'm falling asleep during a night feed, and even if he grumbled and wants fed again in 15 minutes it gives me a little time to sort myself out again.

TrudyProud · 19/03/2023 10:58

I had a CS and a next to me crib. Honestly the 1st few weeks the crib was a liability as I had to shuffle to the bottom of the bed (ouch) in order to get out. In the end I had to wake DH up so I could roll out of his side of the bed.
Add to that my daughter hated the crib so her naps were exclusively contact. Her nighttime sleep was as well (we took turns holding her overnight). As she got bigger and me confident i kicked DH into the spare bedroom and co-slept instead. This was better for us

SkyandSurf · 19/03/2023 10:59

Sounds like he's volunteering to attend to the baby at every single wake up. Unless he's lazy?

MisschiefMaker · 19/03/2023 11:00

Is he worried about cost? they are quite expensive.

KathieFerrars · 19/03/2023 11:01

Moses basket on a stand would be good because then you can move it various places. I wonder whether a next to me crib would make it very hard for you to get out of bed just at a time when you are in pain and can't move easily. Also, he can then have the basket over on his side of the bed occasionally as he isn't going to think twice about getting up. Personally, I can't sleep with another person in the room (apart from DH) so the offspring went in their own room from day one.

trilbydoll · 19/03/2023 11:03

For dd2 we had a full size cot with the side taken off pulled up against our bed. If the heights work and you can make sure there is no gap for baby to fall into, that's a far more cost effective option than either a moses basket or crib.

purpledalmation · 19/03/2023 11:05

Do what you think is right. A Moses basket is a waste of money. Never heard of a baby who liked them yet. Your partner is being an opinionated arse.

Viviennemary · 19/03/2023 11:08

I agree with your DH. A crib is better but you should pick your own. I don't agree wiith co sleeping and velcro babies.

AIU · 19/03/2023 11:12

Having had a Moses for my eldest three and then a next to me for my 4th I would say next to me every time. It makes life so much easier, they are more spacious so baby is more settled.

InTheFutilityRoomEatingBiscuits · 19/03/2023 11:14

Not all Moses baskets are the same, just like not all babies are the same.

My youngest slept or started the night the Moses basket until 7.5 months old when they moved to a space saver cot in the same room as us. With DC1 we had our double bed up against the wall in our room, we’d always had it that way as it wasn’t a big room. I struggled to shuffle down to the bottom of the bed and climb over the bed frame in the dark every time I needed to get out of bed for the baby and I had a vaginal birth. It was also tricky to clamber back over and into bed with the baby in arms, and staying out of bed wasn’t a fun option as it was winter and we didn’t have any heating in the house at that time.

if babies needed a night time change I’d do it in the dark in the Moses basket, or on the bed, on my knee etc depending where I was sat so I’d imagine you’d just do a nappy change in a next to me too.

I’ve never winded a baby at night or in the day so that was never a problem.

What I would suggest is how easy it is to change the sheets on attached cribs and your own bed?

Blaggingit123 · 19/03/2023 11:23

It’s basically impossible to lower a very newborn sleeping baby into a Moses basket at nighttime without triggering the startle reflex. The next2me is the ideal transition to get a sleeping baby off you into lying flat without lowering them (good luck doing that in the first few day though!). Moses basket fine to use around the house though - probably last at most 3 months whereas next2me can last 6 or beyond. Calling it lazy is horrible though - he clearly has no clue.

Got2besoon · 19/03/2023 11:34

Mine was wonderful. The aim of the game with a new baby is to make life as easy as possible, not to be a martyr

Rocketsmocket · 19/03/2023 12:01

My youngest outgrew his Moses basket in 6 weeks-I’m glad I borrowed one rather than bought a new one.

Your DP is an asshole. Lazy? Really? For someone who will be recovering from major abdominal surgery? I found getting in & out of bed difficult for the first couple of weeks. He has absolutely no idea.

DismantledKing · 19/03/2023 12:02

Yet another Prince amongst men

Mammyloveswine · 19/03/2023 13:09

Your partner is a nasty arsehole...unless he's getting out of bed every night then it's his choice of course.

Fucking men piss me right off.

ChuckMater · 19/03/2023 13:45

Sounds like dh is doing all the night feeds and getting up and down in the night OP. What a gent❤️

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