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Original poster

Next to me crib? Partner says it's lazy!

94 replies

Butterflies12 · 19/03/2023 09:02

Hi,
I'm wondering if anyone has any advice about a next to me crib. I am 5 months pregnant and think a next to me crib would be lovely because you are close to baby, can't easily pick them up without getting out of bed and they know you are close. I'm also likely to have a c section so think a next to me would be easier to reach baby. My partner has said his sister is going to buy us a moses basket. When I said that was kind but I would prefer to choose myself and want a next to me crib, he said that they are just lazy and who can't be bothered to get out of bed and walk a few steps to their baby. He also said he thinks they sound dangerous. Has anyone got any advice/experience to share? It's our first baby so I don't.

OP posts:

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MisschiefMaker · 19/03/2023 09:37

What a prat

Anotheanon · 19/03/2023 09:37

I have no experience of a next to me crib but how bloody dare he!

Littlegoth · 19/03/2023 09:39

I had a c section too and found it hard to pick baby up from the next to me, so my OH slept next to it and passed me the baby every single time. Having another in July and the same is planned. It was a lot easier after the first 2 weeks x

Mummysgonetobed · 19/03/2023 09:39

I’ve had 3 children and for the first two had a Moses basket which after a c section is a complete pain to get the baby out. Also only lasted about 8 weeks.
with my 3rd I got a snuzpod that attached to the bed - absolutely amazing. So much easier to get to baby, to soothe baby in the night.
its not about being lazy, it’s about what’s best for you and baby! Tell him he’s being ridiculous.

Dacadactyl · 19/03/2023 09:41

Lol. He's hilarious. Get the next to me one for the bed rather than the moses basket.

I had both my kids in the actual double bed with us (they're 5 years apart so not at the same time) cos I was BF and it was just easier.

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 19/03/2023 09:43

Geranium1984 · 19/03/2023 09:17

We have a next to me crib but I've never actually put it up against the bed. I put it on the far side of the room. I think I put the side down and had it next to the bed one night when my son was ill once.
You'll still need to get up in the night unfortunately as baby will need a nappy change with feeds. And burping.
Anyway, I like it as a crib, is a good size that lasts till they're about 5mo.

This is nonsense - babies rarely poo in the night and you absolutely shouldn't be changing wet nappies at night as you'll wake the baby up fully doing so.

The only reasons to change a nappy at night are poo (which having had three children who are no longer babies I can say they don't do at night) very full wet nappies (which might be the case with an older baby occasionally by 5am but not a tiny baby in the middle of the night) or if the baby is too sleepy to feed and not gaining weight- then you have to wake them regularly and nappy change specifically to wake them up fully before feeding).

Most breastfed babies don't need burping at night unless you have a poor latch or tongue tie.

MisschiefMaker · 19/03/2023 09:57

This is nonsense - babies rarely poo in the night

@MrsMullerBecameABaby you were lucky with your DC! My DD didn't have a poo-free night until she was 5 months old. She pooed with every feed for ages.

She was breastfed and also needed help burping for at least 6 weeks if I remember correctly.

They are all different.

Mushroo · 19/03/2023 10:01

He sounds a charmer.

Why don’t you offer an experiment this weekend. Set an alarm to go off every 2 hours, put it on the other side of the room and see how much he enjoys having to get out of bed to turn it off.

Daisybee6 · 19/03/2023 10:02

Having both will be handy

Next to me for bedtime and a moses basket for the day, it's handy to carry a moses around with you during the day

In regards to your dp thinking it's lazy to have a next to me crib, I mean 😂 make him get up every single time and see if he still feels the same

Lwrenagain · 19/03/2023 10:03

He needs educating on this, Co sleepers are brilliant.
Lazy 😂😂 What a twattish thing to say!
Tell him to read up on them because his opinion is bollocks and he needs facts.

Emmamoo89 · 19/03/2023 10:04

Greebosmum · 19/03/2023 09:08

Surely the moses basket is for the living room and the next to me for night time? I dont know if a moses basket is suitable for all night sleeping (fingers crossed). My babies grew out of their moses basket in a couple of months. The next to me crib is a brilliant idea, I wish they had been available when mine were babies.

My son stayed in his moses basket till 11 weeks next to the bed then went in his own room. Did also have one in the sitting room which I think he still fit in it till 4 monthsish

DifficultBloodyWoman · 19/03/2023 10:04

🙄 A Moses basket is lovely…to have downstairs next to the couch.

I have a hands-on husband. He was under the impression that he would get up and get baby, change her nappy, and bring her to me for feeding throughout the night. He did with his ex.

I wasn’t crazy about that idea because 1) I didn’t want baby sleeping in another room, 2) he is a heavier sleeper than me so I would have to wake up first and then wake him to go to baby, 3, I didn’t want to argue with him that she needed ti be picked up while he would say ‘give it a minute, she’ll self settle’.

So we got a next to me crib.

I had a c-section. This was my experience, good and bad:

I struggled to get in and out of bed because I basically had to crawl past the next to me crib to get my head on the pillow.
turns out that my baby wakes for than feeds and nappy changes - being able to reach over and pop her dummy back in without getting in and out of bed is fantastic. (See previous comment about crawling)
I can also settle her by reaching out to put my hand on her tummy. I don’t want to have to do that standing up for thirty minutes or more!
I was a paranoid and PFB first time mum, I checked her breathing every time I woke up at night for weeks. The next to me meant I could get peace of mind without fully waking up and getting out of bed. A sleep saver!
a next to me can become a standard crib if you want it to. It gives you options.
read the safe sleeping guidelines. A next to m fulfils the requirements perfectly.

Shirt version : accept the Moses basket as the gift she wants to give you, and buy the crib you want.

JuneOsborne · 19/03/2023 10:06

Hang on. Who does he think is going to be lazy?

Gincan · 19/03/2023 10:13

I guess he'll be springing out of bed and skipping across the room to do a night feed at 3:00am

Moses basket on a stand in the living room is a good idea after a c section especially as you don't need to bend over to put baby down. A next to me crib is equally handy in the bedroom. Ignore him, he doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.

B0g · 19/03/2023 10:13

Is your boyfriend incredibly stupid in other areas? Is he controlling or think that parenting is for women? Sounds dodgy, and very lazy to have failed to educate himself on basic parenting, SIDS etc.

Phoebo · 19/03/2023 10:16

Get what you want

HMW1906 · 19/03/2023 10:17

We had a next to me crib with both DS (2 years old and currently 17 days old). It does make life so much easier and for us baby number 2 sleeps much better when next to the bed.

I will say that I had a c-section with both DS, with the first DS we had already attached the crib to the bed and I really struggled to get in and out for the first few weeks as I had to either shuffle across the bed and get out of husbands side or shuffle to the bottom of the bed to get out. With DS 2 we’ve only attached the crib to the bed in the last few days so it was easier getting in and out of bed without it attached but DS2 is now sleeping much better now he is attached to the bed.

also we have a Moses basket in the living room, DS1 outgrew it within 2-3 months, what’s your partners plan for where baby will sleep when it outgrows the Moses basket?

darjeelingrose · 19/03/2023 10:18

I never had a moses basket, people don't use them much any more do they, there are so many nicer alternatives out there, why would you bother? Next to me crib would be far better for the bedroom.

RandomMess · 19/03/2023 10:23

My baby was too large for the Moses basket, she was so much happier in her cot where she could stretch out!

Gincan · 19/03/2023 10:25

Just to add we actually got ours for free second hand, there's loads of them about, I wouldn't bother buying a new one as they grow out of them so fast

Kranke · 19/03/2023 10:26

I had a very quick recovery from my c-section, but the next to me was a pain! It was too big at first (despite a 3.6kg baby), the Moses basket was great, felt secure and had it next to the bed so used as a next to me in essence. It was hard to navigate getting out of the bed. In the end we went from Moses basket straight the the main cot in our room, only using the next to me for travel.

Miscellaneousme · 19/03/2023 10:27

Tell him that’s great that he doesn’t mind getting up to walk a few steps to pass you the baby in the night…

I had a next to me and it was great, much easier to settle baby after a feed = more sleep for everyone.

Danikm151 · 19/03/2023 10:34

There are risks and neither option lasts long.

Undethetree · 19/03/2023 10:35

Big red flag. Controlling behaviour.

Abuse often starts or escalates in pregnancy, OP please don't lose your voice or your sense of what is normal or fair in relationships over the next few months.

Potplant19 · 19/03/2023 10:39

The lazy bit made me chuckle - my word be as lazy as you possibly can, early motherhood is hard enough without deliberately making it harder or passing judgement on laziness!

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You'll find your way, it will be difficult to know what works until the baby is here, and once they are it will work for a limited time only so I'd suggest following your own instinct, and be as damned lazy as you possibly can be!

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